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https://www.essence.com/love/essence-staff-aisha-becker-burrowes-married-tamron-hall-show/

No matter how difficult the times may be right now, love still prevails!

ESSENCE staff member Aisha Becker-Burrowes and her longtime love Kelton Cumberbatch got engaged during a romantic date night at home in April. Of course, they never planned to be quarantined while taking such a big step in their relationship, but Kelton’s well-planned proposal was “perfect” in Aisha’s eyes.

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Even on the darkest of days, our love continues to shine through. There’s no one way to do this love thing but the one thing I know for sure is that we will continue to do it our way. Here’s to choosing you every day! We’re engaged!#QuarantineEngagement #Engaged #BlackLove #coronabride

A post shared by Aisha (@dulcevidaa) on Apr 1, 2020 at 4:18pm PDT

After their engagement photos went viral, the couple was approached by the Tamron Hall Show for a rare opportunity. “The show came across our engagement announcement on social media and reached out to us asking if we wanted to have a virtual wedding,”says Aisha. “They asked us on Wednesday, and we got married on Monday. We had one day to decide and five days before the big day! [We had] no dress, no wedding bands, nothing!”

Aisha and Kelton, both avid travelers, were originally considering a destination wedding. They even had potential wedding venues and vendor contacts all mapped out in spreadsheets. However, they soon realized that life as we knew it may not return for a while due to the COVID-19 pandemic. “We are typically such planners,” says Aisha, “so it was totally out of character for us to spontaneously get married like that, especially in such a public way. But as crazy as it felt, we thought that perhaps it offered us and our loved ones a beautiful gift. What a precious thing to be able to share this with the world!”

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We got hitched in 5 days y’all! COVID-19 gave us nothing but time to plan our dream wedding. And so we chose a destination, spoke to vendors and narrowed down venues. And then we realized that the world might not return to normal for awhile and when it does, will it look the same way we imagined? In these times, we’ve realized that each moment and crazy memory we could make with each other and our loved ones is more precious than ever. So when the @tamronhallshow reached out to us asking us if we wanted to have a virtual wedding, we had no idea what to expect! So these two over-thinkers did something incredibly spontaneous and we had an absolute blast! Life is short and it was such a gift to be able to share this moment with each other, our loved ones and the world. Here’s to forever with you @iam_kbatch! Can’t wait for the world to open up again so we can celebrate and honor our love with everyone in person! A very special thank you to @tamronhall @carlypaigeloveman and @fiercelookoftheday for holding so much integrity. And to @fete.ny @jungleeny for handling all of the beautiful details! and @christianothstudio for these gorgeous photos! And last but not least, a huge thank you to all of our friends and family for being nothing short of amazing and supporting us. We would be nothing without y’all #lovewins #blacklove #coronabride #zoomwedding #wedding #bride #married

A post shared by Aisha (@dulcevidaa) on May 13, 2020 at 11:16am PDT

Wearing a fabulous beaded wedding gown from Morilee, Aisha headed to the altar (set up in their living room!) to say “I do” to Kelton. Their mothers, Carla and Alma, were present for the ceremony, and family and friends tuned in via live stream.

Hall officiated the wedding remotely and was almost brought to tears as the couple exchanged their heartfelt vows. After the ceremony, the couple turned their living room into a dance floor to host their virtual reception. “We asked our friends and family to dress up, prepare drinks, and even had two friends DJ for us,” Aisha says. “We popped champagne and cut cake while our friends toasted to us and shared fun memories. The virtual party went on for almost four hours and we really had so much fun.”

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We can’t wait to share this beautiful ceremony with everyone today! It’s a virtual wedding on “Tamron Hall” with our lovely host officiating. Hope you’re joining!

A post shared by Tamron Hall Show (@tamronhallshow) on May 13, 2020 at 6:01am PDT

Looking back, Aisha and Kelton are happy with their decision to marry virtually. “It was a blast and we felt so lucky to be able to celebrate with our friends and family more intimately in this incredibly unique way. “

Congratulation Aisha and Kelton! See the ceremony below, including footage of the couple planning their at-home ceremony from A-Z with event planner Jung Lee.

The post ESSENCE Staff Member Said ‘I Do’ On The Tamron Hall Show appeared first on Essence.

https://www.themarysue.com/men-of-middle-earth-as-bad-ex-boyfriends/

Every now and then, a Twitter act of creation reminds us that good things can still emerge from our hellish Internet stomping grounds. Such is the case with a viral thread from writer Alex Arrelia, in which Arrelia painstakingly—and hilariously—takes on J.R.R. Tolkien’s characters under the heading of “Men of Middle Earth as bad ex boyfriends who ruined your life.”

Fuck it. I’m doing it: Men of Middle Earth as bad ex boyfriends who ruined your life:

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

This is all in good fun, but the brilliance of the thread is in its co-mingled knowledge of both Tolkien characters and human nature. These labels attached to Middle-earth heroes and villains and Ents work so well because they play on the characters’ inclinations alongside recognizable modern types we may have met (or dated). Arrelia was kind enough to give us permission to feature the thread here, so let’s dig right into this tasty second breakfast:

Aragorn

– has a trust fund, asks you to split dinner anyway because he’s “broke”
– bad boy aversion to responsibility used to be hot, now it’s just getting annoying
– “shampoo is bad for your hair” pic.twitter.com/i8NaEsQUF5

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Sam:

– really affectionate, but if you don’t text back he melts down
– won’t let you buy non-organic produce
– his best friend is your best friend now, you’re the third wheel on all your dates pic.twitter.com/tZ5jaHOOok

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Legolas:

– will not tell anyone you’re dating so he can keep his options open
– steals your hair products
– complains when he sees girls wearing Thrasher tees pic.twitter.com/wLiE1i4OUU

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Gimli:

– used to be fun but you never leave the house anymore
– if you talk during a football game you’re dead to him
– enormous family who won’t stop asking when you’re going to have kids pic.twitter.com/AAmF2qKQhB

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Eomer:

– only drinks craft beer and he will not shut up about it
– has confused brooding with having a personality
– not so much a “boyfriend” as the hot mistake you keep making over and over and over… pic.twitter.com/AcOvxfuCxh

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Faramir:

– more baggage than the overhead compartment of a 747
– really sweet but cannot get his shit together
– all that vanilla sex is starting to get real boring pic.twitter.com/e5jUMO0n5X

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Merry

– complete burn out
– banter is fun only until you realize your entire relationship is based on antagonism
– he is going to get you into serious trouble one day pic.twitter.com/FRNvTCctdf

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Pippin

– secret artistic side kinda not making up for what a clown he is
– caves instantly to peer pressure
– you can’t leave him unsupervised for like a second pic.twitter.com/bScmy2mSoN

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Boromir

– horrible combination of inferiority complex and fragile ego
– has never heard the word “no”
– really, really thinks getting married will fix your relationship problems? pic.twitter.com/gXKTudqRsx

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Frodo:

– doe-eyed schtick is getting tired
– complete layabout who’s never worked a day in his life
– estimation of his own moral superiority is somehow both unshakeable and totally unearned pic.twitter.com/u71R2yw8TM

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Gandalf:

– ghosts you exactly when you need him most
– probably in a crappy prog rock band, keeps “reinventing” himself
– “weed sommelier” pic.twitter.com/xsHOcwk2b5

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Not to be limited by the famous characters many of us know from the Lord of the Rings books and films, Arrelia also ventured into more obscure and secondary-character territory on this adventure through Arda.

Treebeard:

– there are only so many hours in the goddamn day
– serves you mushrooms of suspect providence
– no seriously, what happened to your ex wife? You “lost” her? I’m gonna need you to be a lot more specific, bud pic.twitter.com/qHcIbhABDw

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Haldir:

– on again, off again bc he lives for drama
– backhanded compliments
– influencer who keeps mining your relationship for content pic.twitter.com/P4A2xtxfg0

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Elrond:

– dude…that was kind of racist
– orders for you at restaurants
– never apologizes ever, for anything, even if it’s his fault pic.twitter.com/X1CvsvLFMF

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Theoden:

– daddy dom well dried up
– not worth having to sit through another monologue about how “music today is all beeps and boops”
– performance in off-broadway production of Hamlet left a lot to be desired pic.twitter.com/HOA5JYG9W8

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Denethor:

– terrible table manners
– no
– why would you ever? pic.twitter.com/7nmc07zEcA

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Gollum:

– he is definitely going to steal your wallet one of these days
– does not want you to have any friends
– will not stop talking about himself in the third person pic.twitter.com/otuMbkKov5

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Sarumon:

– Spends way too much time on Reddit
– has a PHD in philosophy, and works it into every conversation
– is absolutely cheating on you pic.twitter.com/jyxI8lm3IE

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Isildur

– more of an ill-advised fling you had on vacation
– works in investment banking
– turns out he’s married pic.twitter.com/8jT3PA6Ym3

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Bilbo:

– allergic to fun
– thinks you need to “broaden your horizons” so he wants you to read Kerouac
– Calls himself a self-made man even though he inherented the house pic.twitter.com/8xiMm0eqKh

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Wormtongue

– 100% gaslighting you
– has never changed the sheets, ever
– “Name five of their songs, poseur” pic.twitter.com/jjLB1lI8n2

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

The Witch King

– despite obvious predilection for gender-bending, doesn’t respect anyone else’s pronouns
– listens to screamo at ear splitting volumes
– won’t post photos of you together on Insta bc you’re bad for his aesthetic pic.twitter.com/aHpF9pZFyO

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Last by special request, Thorin:

– historical figure he relates to most is Lord Byron
– needs constant reassurance that he’s hotter than your exes
– won’t just come out and call you a gold digger, but he’s thinking it pic.twitter.com/Y2O8w0ZYmq

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

But Thorin wouldn’t actually be Arrelia’s last request, as The Hobbit still has an active fanbase, and there was clamoring for further analysis therein.

Ok, I’ll cave, Thranduil:

– when you try to make plans, he says “whatever you want do”, but absolutely does not mean it
– can afford to tip, but doesn’t
– leaves you on read pic.twitter.com/ierBy4SuxO

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Kili:

– an absolutely prototypical fuckboy
– thinks his entire charm is his sense of humour, but is not actually funny
– sends unsolicited dick picks pic.twitter.com/hMV7V8IbVL

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

Bard:

– manages simultaneously to be so handsome and so boring you forgot about him
– already in a committed relationship with his Bowflex
– you ran out of shit to talk about on your first date pic.twitter.com/I7jHzcb4Em

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

And last but ever vigilant, the Lord of the Rings himself:

Sauron:

– brags about belonging to MENSA
– manages several sock puppet accounts he doesn’t want you to know about
– kicked out of his own doom metal band bc he always plays with his back to the audience—but it’s not because he has stage fright, okay? pic.twitter.com/BsMdZq2RGY

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

The Mouth of Sauron:

– mad about perceived slights in this comedy thread
– hustle culture
– spends all his free time playing Warframe pic.twitter.com/nsUSWcc6Aw

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 12, 2020

As with any viral thread, there has been some trollish responses that Arrelia is handling with further humor and wit; you can also find more character-with-bad-boyfriend-conflation over on Twitter, if you were wondering about the likes of Celeborn, Everard Proudfoot, and Tom Bombadil in a relationship.

Like the real joke is that I’ve spent so many hours of my life watching that trilogy

— Alex Arrelia (@AlexArrelia) May 13, 2020

Of course, the examples of behavior that Arrelia gives may also apply to women and genderqueer folks in your life. But as Arrelia points out in another Tweet to address some of the angry replies, “‘You did a sexism by mocking this story with a thousand men and three women in it’ is a hell of a take.”

Yet the widespread popularity and overall enthusiastic embrace of this fun thread gives me hope. If we couldn’t delight in the gentle ribbing of beloved characters from epic fantasy literature, it would probably be time to pack up the Internet and call it a wrap.

I have never read a more accurate take on Tolkien’s mythos.
He may have hated people over-analysing and over-interpetting his work – but this he surely would have made canon. https://t.co/OfG2Sjakf2

— Dr Stephen Maclean (@BoneDoctorPhD) May 13, 2020

(via Alex Arrelia on Twitter, image: New Line Cinema)

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http://www.afronerd.com/2020/05/internet-radio-blast-now-afronerdradio.html

It might take some time but we're confident that our ever loyal listeners/followers will get used to our new broadcasting home courtesy of BTalk 100.  Join your favorite AFROnerdists for this Mother's Day Sunday Grindhouse episode as powered by the Afronerd Radio machine airing at 6pm eastern and again heard at this very website.  The topics to be discussed are as follows:  black culture and music took a heavy hit with the passing of three iconic figures-Richard Penniman aka Little Richard, "The Architect of Rock and Roll," famed music mogul/record executive (Uptown Records and Motown Records) and classic hip hop artist, Andre Harrell and noted R & B songstress, Betty Wright:







More unfortunate but necessary COVID-19 news and developments;  another legendary quarantine inspired VERZUZ match-up took place this weekend and this time it involved stellar neo-soul artists, Erykah Badu and Jill Scott-the ladies garnered hundreds of thousands of viewers via Instagram (will black culture get its social media due? if it's not black Twitter, it's instagram); Oh and is the next battle going to be between rappers, Ludacris and Nelly?; conservative radio host, Dennis Prager raised the ire of the internet from what appeared to be his meandering thoughts about how African-Americans (and Indigenous people) self identify; something we failed to discuss on our last show-the social media debate about UK singer, Adele's weight loss and how the response is actually a form of toxicity;  the creators of the extremely popular Rick and Morty animated series have branched out into another similar cartoon imprint (this time on Hulu) called Solar Opposites;  Dburt discovers yet another UK series that might become a "must watch" streaming exercise entitled, Gangs of London;  oh and CBS' God Friended Me has been cancelled (Argh!);  writers Mikki Kendall (Hood Feminism) and L.L. McKinney (A Blade So Black) might help those who can't view the highly anticipated (and COVID preempted) Black Widow film based on their new writing gig involving the same character via Marvel's Serial Box Exclusive series, Black Widow: Bad Blood; in lieu of a forthcoming Mortal Kombat live action reboot (and the recently released animated download/DVD, Scorpion's Revenge); a trailer for an extension to the MK11 video game just hit the cyberwebs entitled, Aftermath; Lastly, why was the term #newblacks trending on twitter recently? Call in LIVE at our new number: 1-508-645-0100. 


 *AFTER CLICKING ON THE LINK,  FEEL FREE TO FILL OUT THE LISTENER FORM OR PRESS "NO THANKS" TO GO DIRECTLY TO AFRONERD RADIO!!!
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https://www.themarysue.com/a-billion-thoughts-at-once-tj-klune-the-extraordinaries/

I’m disordered.

I’m neurodiverse. I have Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD. I’m disordered because it’s right there in the name. At first, I didn’t want to accept that. It felt like yet another thing that made me different, along with depression, anxiety, and a little voice whispering in the back of my head telling me that I was also queer, something that terrified the hell out of me.

Ever since I can remember, my mind has always moved too fast—a billion thoughts all at once, and when I was younger, it was hard to focus, much less exist. And either because, or in addition to that, I was an anxious kid with bouts of significant depression, that ol’ black dog nipping at my heels. I wasn’t like other people; I had an “otherness” that made me different, and whether or not those perceived differences were real or all in my head, it didn’t matter.

The depression is still there, as is the anxiety, though both are better than when I was younger. I have mental health experts and proper medication to thank for that. The billion thoughts all at once? Yeah, I still have those too, but it’s gotten easier over time, not because it’s lessened, but because I was taught the proper tools on how to manage it: medication, structure, limiting distractions, time management (this is a big one), and prioritization, to name a few.

As I usually do when I am feeling low, I turned to books as an escape. I read anything and everything I could get my hands on. It didn’t matter if it was fiction or non-fiction, or far above my reading level. I wanted to read it all.

Looking back, I think I was hoping to find someone like me: someone who could be sad and anxious for no reason at all, someone who understood what it was like to think too hard about everything, dissecting it down to minute details that, in the long run, didn’t matter. I felt like my own worst enemy, and it was harder when I couldn’t find a character like me in the books I read.

I got better as I grew up, knowing the parts of me that I once thought made me an other weren’t necessarily the only parts of me, or even the biggest or most important. I wasn’t going to be free of these challenges; a kid with ADHD turns into a teenager with ADHD who then becomes an adult with ADHD. Once I understood that, a weight lifted off my shoulders. I couldn’t change my circumstances, but by god, I could make the most of what I had.

But still. What if there were people out there, people just like me who wanted to find a book that they could point to and say, here, here I am, here is what it’s like for me?

And so I wrote The Extraordinaries.

On the surface, it’s about a fanboy who has a deep, deep love (read: obsession) for the superheroes that protect his city, so much so that he writes self-insert fanfiction about them. The book follows the journey of Nick Bell, a sixteen-year-old queer kid who doesn’t think he’s something special.

And while that’s a fun enough story on its own, it’s not the entirety of his journey. Nick—like me, and so many others—has ADHD, something he struggles with. When the novel opens, he sees it as something holding him back, something that makes him different than his peers. Nick (like many people his age) is smart, loving, and more than a little clueless. I wanted to write a book where the main character was allowed to act a bit stupid, and would make mistakes. However, he needed to learn from those mistakes to avoid making them again in the future (so he can make new ones entirely, of course).

And learn as he does. The bigger picture of The Extraordinaries is that it’s a coming-of-age queer comedy, but at its heart, it’s about a kid learning to accept the parts of him that make him different, and to celebrate those differences.

We aren’t all the same. That’s what makes the world a wonderful place, though it can sometimes seem scary. And instead of letting it drag us down, we should be letting it lift us up. It’s trite to say that we’re all in this together, but even so, it’s the truth. I gave Nick a voice because I want others to see themselves in him and know they aren’t an other. And though you might have a disorder (or three), there’s nothing disordered about you. You are as you’re supposed to be. You are, for lack of a better word, extraordinary.

Remember that.

(image: TOR Books)

TJ Klune is a Lambda Literary Award-winning author (Into This River I Drown) and an ex-claims examiner for an insurance company. His novels include The House in the Cerulean Sea and The Extraordinaries. Being queer himself, TJ believes it’s important—now more than ever—to have accurate, positive, queer representation in stories.

Don’t forget to check out the other excellent additions in our exclusive Our Books, Our Shelves column with Tor Books!

• A.K. Larkwood & Tamsyn Muir in Conversation, by A.K. Larkwood and Tamsyn Muir
• BE A QUITTER, or HOW TO WRITE THE NOVEL OF YOUR HEART, by K.M. Szpara
• Down with Literary Snobbery, Long Live Genre, by Sarah Kozloff
• Bestselling Author John Scalzi Talks the End of Everything with John Scalzi

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—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—