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R&B singer Ciara found herself in the middle of a firestorm this weekend when she posted a sermon clip telling single women why they haven’t found Mr. Right yet. Using the hashtag #LevelUp, Ciara shared a message preached by John Gray in which he says “too many women want to be married but are walking around in the spirit of a girlfriend…if you begin to carry yourself like a wife, a husband will find you.” Many sisters took offense to what they considered shaming single women. They kindly reminded Ciara that it was these same women who defended her co-parenting and relationship with her husband Russell Wilson when Black men were unnecessarily cruel. Responding to the criticism, she later posted a message explaining the #LevelUp hashtag and her decision to share the video. In part, she says “I was once that girl wanting to be loved a certain way but making the wrong choices…I realized the perfect love I was looking for was how God loves me, how he wants me to be loved…” I believe Ciara. I believe the dissolution of her relationship with her son’s father and ex-fiancé, Future, caused her to do a great amount of soul-searching. I believe, as with all intense heartbreaks, it led her to a deeper love of herself. Rediscovering self-worth is never a problem; telling single Black women they don’t have any is. Yet, for all the darts thrown at Ciara this past weekend, the issue isn’t with her. It’s with John Gray and pastors like him who push these messages.   Let’s be very clear: God didn’t say single women aren’t married because they don’t have the spirit of a wife; John Gray did. Though he initially came onto the scene as a Christian comedian, his messages aren’t funny in the least bit. If all it takes is carrying yourself as a wife for God to honor it with a mate, then why are we watching so many Christian wives go through the public humiliation of their husbands’ infidelities on social media and reality television? If all it takes is the spirit of a wife, how do we explain the ending of Ciara and Future’s relationship- an example that actually fits John Gray’s narrative? If a wife “isn’t the presence of a ring but the presence of your character”, what is a husband and why have we never seen sermon excerpts holding men accountable for the unethical behavior they exhibit in relationships?   The answer is simple. Relationship theology is only for Black women. Books, conferences, social media memes and everything in between are all geared towards making women believe their singleness is a consequence. It preys on heterosexual Black Christian women’s desire to be coupled and does nothing to undo the false narrative that their singleness is their fault. John Gray preached that sermon to Black Christian women, the demographic statistically considered one of the most religious groups in the world. Daily, the women he suggests lack the character of wives possess enough character to have fulfilling personal relationships with God, care for their families and engage in civic responsibility- which includes a commitment to their local church. It would seem that one would have a more informed and constructive understanding when it comes to Black churchwomen but these messages do not. And they don’t have to because, as long as they perpetuate the notion that some women are more deserving of relationships than others, they will always have a cult following.   This is possibly why some Black women took offense to any critique of this sermon and vigorously defend other sermons and books like it. This competition among Black Christian women is an old one but rears its ugly head in church and on social media any time women who possess sexual autonomy and agency are discussed. Sisters celebrate the disrespect these women experience in the belief that it shows they are of a higher quality, deserving a ring and holy matrimony. Black Twitter calls this the “Pick Me” syndrome but the truth is it is engrained in us as the right thing to do. Many Black Christian women have been indoctrinated with an insecurity and jealousy that masquerades as faith and righteousness. And messages like these don’t help to combat it. They continuously make sisters the scapegoat for all that is wrong within intimate relationships and pit us against each other when nobody will have our backs but other Black women.   Thankfully, there are entire discourses dedicated to our spiritual lives. Womanist theology and Black feminist religious thought articulate the particularities of Black women’s faith walks. Delores Williams, Wil Gafney, Marla Frederick, Tamura Lomax, Chaneequa Walker-Barnes and others engage in scholarship that explains why ministry for Black women must be critically nuanced and compassionate. Georgia Southern professor Monique Moultrie’s recent book, Passionate and Pious: Religious Media and Black Women’s Sexuality, is all about the impact of messages like John Gray’s on Black Christian women. Additionally, there are Black clergywomen and spiritual teachers who couch their ministries in liberation. Leslie D. Callahan, Neichelle Guidry, Cynthia Hale, Valerie Bridgeman, Renita Weems and many more preach and teach from womanist and Black feminist perspectives that enable sisters to become free without shame. Granted, these women have no problem telling us when our actions diminish our power and worth. Yet, they’re also publicly holding brothers accountable so that the community, as a whole, can be well. We rarely see this from Black male pastors and leaders. Where they have keen theological analysis on racial injustice, they fall flat when it comes to gender and sexuality. It requires too much self-reflection and truth-telling. I hope John Gray and others will begin to preach about the spirit of toxic masculinity from the pulpit because that is what is hurting us. With intimate partner violence in our community becoming too prevalent to ignore and brothers running from doing their emotional work, we would all benefit if Black men spent less time talking to women and more time talking to each other.   I love seeing Ciara happy. I love seeing Black women happy. Too much in this world tries to keep happiness from us. And it is possible to be happy with the person you think is best designed for you without claiming to know why other women haven’t met that person yet. The range of Black women’s experiences is just too vast for the answer to ever be that simplistic. ruLife has never been that black and white; we have always lived in the gray. What is needed, as we move forward, is less emphasis on what Black women are doing “wrong” and a commitment to communal uplift. We need more books, sermons and conferences that deal with the totality of Black intimacy and provide us with solutions so we can all heal and love each other better. That’s what needs to go viral; anything else is counterproductive and unnecessary.

We are truly living in a golden age of comic book-based television. From broadcast to cable to streaming, shows featuring an array of superheroes are everywhere. The CW alone could field a superhero show each night of the week now that Black Lightning, the network’s fifth DC Comics-based show from super producer Greg Berlanti, is finally ready for prime time. Starring Cress Williams as the titular hero, and created by the husband-and-wife producing team of Salim and Mara Brock Akil, Black Lightning — debuting tonight at 9pm — has already emerged as the best show on The CW, and is possibly the best superhero show of the genre.

Black Lightning was created by Tony Isabella and Trevor Von Eeden in 1977 and is DC Comics’ first African American superhero. The television show is a very faithful adaptation of the original comics, retaining many of the elements established for four decades: Jefferson Pierce is a family man and principal of Garfield High School, his closest confidant is also his superhero tailor Peter Gambi (James Remar), and his arch nemesis is Tobias Whale (Krondon), leader of the infamous 100 gang.

Where Black Lightning differs from its Berlanti-verse brethren is that this is not an origin story. In fact, the first episode is titled “The Resurrection” and picks up with our hero “retired” from crimefighting for seven years. Much of the drama revolves around Jefferson’s promise to his ex-wife Lynn (Christine Adams) to hang up the tights and take care of their daughters Anissa (Nafessa Williams) and Jennifer (China Anne McClain). The idea of rebirth and return fascinated the Akils from the beginning.

In the press room during the “DC in D.C.” event hosted by Warner Brothers Television at the Newseum in Washington, the show’s creators were asked about the decision to start with the comeback. “Do you come back [to being a superhero] knowing what being Black Lightning has taken from you in the past,” asked Salim Akil. “How do you get back to that?”

“I always thought of [the show] as an origin story,” added Mara Brock Akil, “meaning when you decide when you want to get into the fight or accept your powers and to me, it’s almost like the character has two origin stories.”

There is a high probability we may get flashbacks to the first origin anyway. “Maybe one day,” the Akils teased. Even in the premiere, there is security cam footage of a younger, clean shaven Black Lightning, sporting his early-2000s era costume.

Where the show shines the brightest is in its nuanced depiction of being Black in contemporary America. This is the main reason that disconnecting it from the other CW shows works to its benefit. Though Freeland is a fictional city, it feels like a real urban setting. It could be Atlanta, Georgia (where it’s filmed) or Richmond, Virginia (which was reportedly an inspiration for the setting). When the producers of Arrow intimated they would be incorporating Black Lives Matter into the show’s current season, it was rightfully met with disdain on the internet.

Now that Black Lightning is on the air, it demonstrates how necessary it is to have the right voices behind the scenes to get the subject matter right. It matters that the show is conceived, written, and directed by the Akils because there is an authenticity to these voices that would be lacking from the pen of another writer. Characters that might come off as stereotypical feel real. The Blackness of Black Lightning is unapologetic, not monolithic.

Like his comic book counterpart, Jefferson Pierce is an educator. And it was important to maintain this aspect of the comics for the show’s creators. “I just thought it was a great way to stay connected to the community,” said Salim. “This man [Jefferson Pierce] walking through the school and communicating and being concerned with the kids, I wanted that to be an image that we put out into the culture so that people know this exists.”

“[Seeing a superhero who’s also a principal] is pretty awesome,” added Mara. “They’re the real heroes.”

Black Lightning is unlike anything The CW has ever put on air. From the music to the cinematography to the performances, this show isn’t just great, it’s electrifying.

Season: 1 / Episode: 1 / Starz

***Spoilers Be Calling from The Other Side Like Adele***

Off rip, the sky is falling, b. Or rather, that was sky, that was glass followed by a body. Fireworks going off, but also gunshots so that shit sounds like a Harmonix rhythm game or some shit. French SWAT all up in the highrise and this shit look like a bloodbath. Ayebody dead, fam. Ayebody except one woman curled up in the shower, Leaving Las Vegas-style. Police like, we taking her to the station cuz she might have seen some shit. They find a bag from “the other side” full of visas, money and shit, but the killer they are pursuing is ghost and left them nothing but video game violence to clean up.

Apparently some deal was going down and dude is on the phone talking about the police are there. Oh. So… these muthafuckas ain’t exactly on the up and up. Well, don’t matter now cuz dude that was apprehending the woman, got his fuckin’ throat slit for his trouble. Dude on the phone turn around like, “Oh, muthafucka”. She timed that gunshot with the fireworks to get that 5 star rating on the solo and put dude down. Wig off. Picks up bag. And we outchea.

Howard playing some dude in Go, teaching him the lessons of life or some shit. He goes to work and you can’t bring shit up in here. Leave your phone at the door. Jewelry, watch, all that shit in the locker. Get fitted for your gray ass suit and red tie. This for real seem like some 1960s Gattica shit. Howard sit down in a room with some glass and an equally boring looking muthafucka on the other side. They share some code back and forth on some super spy shit. But like… the part of the spy shit they usually leave out of cool movies.

Howard got a meeting upstairs with folks who seemingly live much more interesting lives because they are allowed to make noise and shit. Howard trying to get promoted to strategy. Yeah… no. Dude’s resume is spotless, but ain’t nobody trying to give him that level up. Some dude half his age is like, yeah, if it was gonna happen, it would’ve happened by now.

Howard up in the hospital visiting his wife. Who… ain’t breathing on her own. Dude comes in, give Howard some paperwork about taking ol girl home. Basically, for Howard, things are as bad as they have ever been.

Howard tries to go to work the next day and got that Heisman at the gate. Shit is reading all red on the scanner, so he gotta get escorted to the back where it looks like they disappear muthafuckas. Dude from “Housekeeping” start to question him until the millennial comes in again to brief him. Apparently some dude from “the other side” will only speak to Howard with some valuable intel.

And the dude from the other side is… Howard. Who is immediately disappointed in Howard. He like, oh no, don’t tell me I’m a square in this world? What are you, the fuckin’ janitor? They got you in the mailroom reading stamps? Housekeeping saying Howard in Black ain’t worth the time, but Howard in Black is like, nah, you better listen up. Dudes start dying if you don’t take this seriously. And also, get Howard up to speed. Get that man a drink, a lap dance, something. Cuz this interface accountant shit ain’t working.

So, of course Howard is freaking the fuck out. New Millenium runs it down to him about this portal to the other side that opened during the cold war. Before he shoves off, Housekeeping talkin’ about Emily Silk is on the kill list. Emily being Howard’s wife. But yeah… just go back to your job, Howard, we got this.

What?!?!

Up in the club, Howard’s coworker just trying to get some R&R in fam. Just trying to get his flirt on. Dude lures him away to a back room and locks him out so that our assassin can merk him in cold blood and escape out the back. So hopefully more POC are involved cuz the only one we’ve met so far got his brains making a Jackson Pollock on the wall behind him.

Howard in Black BAAACK. Dude crossing back over, making his way through inter-dimensional customs. Howard hosting the tea party with HIB, Peter the Millenial, and Housekeeping. Howard serving crumpets and shit while the other three talkin’ about politics and murder.

Baldwin is the assassin that has been getting her murder off on the 616. They think that she is going to go after Emily, Howard’s wife (cuz HIB’s Emily died of cancer years ago). So HIB gonna go in Howard’s place at the hospital.

Of course, intelligence is like, yeah, after HIB murders Baldwin, we murder HIB, [wipes hands clean emoji].

A tale of two Howards up in the apartment before showtime and this shit is awkward. Howard wants to know why they are so different and HIB wants to know why Howard been a punk all his life. They start comparing notes about their Emily’s. In the Ultimate Universe, they’ve been married for 28 years. HIB is like, sheeit, we eloped fam. Also, probably not 28 years. Shit got mad sad for a second. Not gonna lie.

They on the lookout for Baldwin, but it ain’t Baldwin that shows up. It’s Eric, Emily’s brother, trying to strong-arm Howard into signing the paperwork to release Emily. But yo, Eric got the wrong muthafuckin’ Howard today. Howard calls Eric’s bluff and gets all up in his personal space. Eric got to be like, “who this dude think he is?” Other Howard muthafucka, that’s who.

In the middle of making Eric shit himself, HIB gets the call that Baldwin might be on her way up. HIB pulls the gauge and is like, yo, you a prick, but I’m trying to save your life here so sit down and shut the fuck up.

Baldwin walking into the trap but notices that the flowers ain’t been refreshed at the nurses station (Howard forgot to mention that detail in the routine). So now this shit is a stand-off cuz Baldwin knows the jig is up.

Baldwin starts to run and bullets start flying. A couple nurses might have been killed in the filming of this scene. Probably was working a double, too. So now it’s a chase and everybody hunting Baldwin in this hospital. Baldwin getting cornered and is like fuck this and jumps out a second story window. Yo, she straight up Agent 47 in this muthafucka, man. She hits the ground, double taps a couple of guards and keeps it fuckin’ moving. She think she in the clear until she sees Howard handcuffed (lol, for his protection) in the vehicle. She bout to send Howard to the next world before HIB deliver that shot and puts one through her cheek. She take off cuz of course, HIB is out of bullets.

Howard rushes up to make sure his wife is ok. Ya know, still in a coma. Eric is all the way freaked out. Howard tells him to get on a plane and Eric is like, shit, I was trying to leave an hour ago, bruh.

They drop HIB off at customs and he says they gonna try again at some point, so he’ll be back. Howard tells St. Peter that he wants the promotion he should’ve gotten because 1) There’s a vacancy and & 2) They really need him so there really ain’t another choice.

HIB over in the Ultimate Universe going to a bar while Howard drinking at home alone. But of course HIB is there to meet someone, namely Ultimate Emily. Yeah, so that cancer shit (at least dying from cancer) was a lie. Though it does seem that he messed something up cuz Ultimate Emily got a lightweight cold touch. So yeah, seems like there’s a lot of shit we don’t know yet.

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Over the Martin Luther King holiday weekend in the Nation’s Capital, Warner Brothers and DC Entertainment held the first ever “DC in D.C.” event, bringing together the stars and creators of television and comics to celebrate and honor the diversity of the DC Universe’s superheroes. We also finally announce a Patreon and ask you for your support!

The Nerds of Color was lucky enough to get invited to participate, along with our friends from Joe and Patrick from New Release Wednesday, pictured above. So for this special 100th episode of Hard NOC Life, we’re giving you the sounds from the press room where we got to speak with Chris Chalk, who plays Lucius Fox on Gotham; David Harewood, who plays Martian Manhunter on Supergirl; Salim and Mara Brock Akil, the creators and showrunners of Black Lightning, novelist Alice Randall and artist Denys Cowan, who are both working to bring Milestone 2.0 back to comics; Brandon Routh, who plays Ray Palmer/The Atom on Legends of Tomorrow, Cress Williams, who plays Jefferson Pierec/Black Lightning on Black Lightning; and Oscar-winner John Ridley, who is writing The Other History of the DC Universe.

All this and more on Hard NOC Life! Watch it on your screen, hit “play,” and check this. Subscribe to all of podcasts in the Hard NOC Media family on Apple Podcasts and Google Play! Please support Hard NOC Media on Patreon.

As always, our official theme music is brought to you by the super team of Adam WarRock and Chops.