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Late last year, singer and entertainer Tahliah “FKA Twigs” Barnett made some damning accusations against her ex-boyfriend, actor Shia LaBeouf. In an interview The New York Times, she detailed not only the emotional, physical and sexual abuse, she announced that she was suing him and plans to donate a significant portion of the funds to organizations that raise awareness about domestic violence.

When the claims were initially brought to the public, LaBeouf denied that all of them were true but did take responsibility for some of his actions saying, “I have no excuses for my alcoholism or aggression, only rationalizations. I have been abusive to myself and everyone around me for years. I have a history of hurting the people closest to me. I’m ashamed of that history and am sorry to those I hurt. There is nothing else I can really say.”

Later, LaBeouf’s team came out and denied all of Barnett’s allegations, even claiming that he only attacked her as a form of self-defense .

Recently, Barnett spoke to CBS This Morning’s Gayle King to not only detail the abuse but also raise awareness about the cycle of domestic violence. During the course of their interview, she also shared a teachable moment with King and anyone else who has ever thought to ask domestic violence survivors why they didn’t leave.

See what she had to say below.

Early warning signs

In the beginning, he would jump over the fence where I was staying and leave flowers outside my door, poems and books. I thought it was very romantic but that quickly changed. I understand now, that’s testing your boundaries. Instead of thinking that’s nice to have flowers outside your door, now I think that’s inappropriate to jump over the fence of where I’m living. That’s breaking a boundary.

It’s very subtle. It’s a real gradual, step by step process where people lose themselves so much that they feel like they deserve to be treated in that way. It’s not one thing.  It’s loads of tiny little things that get sewn together into a nightmare.

What is Love bombing?

Putting me on a pedestal, telling me that I’m amazing, over the top displays of affection just to knock me off the pedestal to tell me that I was worthless, to criticize me to berate me, pick me apart. Some of the worst times I experienced in that relationship was when he felt like he was losing control of me and like I was trying to get out.

Gaslighting

Abusers use gaslighting which is where somebody minimizes your experience, altering your narrative, not listening to you and denying your experience. And eventually it did become physical. There were certain instances where he would push me and say, ‘You fell.’ I would get really confused and think maybe I did…

Sexual abuse

Then he’d only want me to sleep naked because he said if I didn’t, I was keeping myself from him. It’s a tactic a lot of abusers use, this constant availability and everything centered around them. That’s why I wanted to come out and talk about this because the signs really are there from the beginning.

Filing the lawsuit

I didn’t want to originally. I wanted to ensure that he got help privately so that he wouldn’t hurt anyone else the way he hurt me. I wanted him to donate money to charity. Because when I called the helpline, it was a moment of changing for me.

Gayle: If he had done the things that you had asked, you would not be filing the lawsuit?

FKA Twigs: No.

Why didn’t she leave

Gayle: Nobody who’s been in this position likes this question and I often wonder, is it even an appropriate question to ask. And you know the question is, ‘Why didn’t you leave?’

FKA Twigs: I think we just have to stop asking that question. I know that you’re asking it out of love. But I’m just going to make a stance and say I’m not going to answer it anymore because the question should really be to the abuser, ‘Why are you holding someone hostage with abuse?’

And people often say, ‘Well, it couldn’t have been that bad or else she would have left.’ And it’s like no, because it was that bad, I couldn’t leave.

What she makes of LaBeouf’s statement

It reminds of some of the gaslighting that I experienced when I was with him, the sort of taking some of the blame but not all of it and then denying it.

What she hopes will come out of speaking out

The result for me Is already happening. I just couldn’t carry it anymore. I felt like I was cracking. Whereas now I feel like I’ve handed his dysfunction back to him and it’s his…I’m feeling brave.

You can watch the full interview in the video below.

Lowell High school is a public magnet school located in San Francisco Unified and is the subject of Debbie Lum’s documentary, Try Harder! The oldest public high school west of the Mississippi, Lowell consistently ranks #1 in the western region, while being recognized as a National Blue Ribbon School on multiple occasions. While Lowell High school is a public high school it is a magnet school that allows the school to have selective admission.

These selective admissions allow Lowell to have a base of high-performing students who make up its student population. To the average person, this might seem wonderful but as Debbie Lum explores in this documentary there are pains and heartache that come with being a top 1% er.

Early on you see that these aren’t your typical students. One student claimed fairly early in the film “ You get used to feeling mediocre” in a school full of high-performing individuals. To these children getting into a top university is a must or you are an automatic failure. One student claimed, “You see a lot of freshmen wearing Stanford jerseys, by the time they are juniors you don’t see those anymore”.

The documentary follows several students Alvin, Ian, Shea, Sophia, and Rachel as they try to navigate the college admission process. Alvin is full of personality, which is probably why he is the focal point of this film. While his goofiness and charm remind you he is a teenager, the crushing pressure he is under by his “Tiger Mom” and the overwhelmingly high standards he puts on himself remind you he is much more than that. Ian’s mother takes the opposite approach and wants him to focus less on grades and more on understanding himself. While Ian is still a high performer the difference in his psyche is extremely noticeable. While he also worries about college, he doesn’t seem nearly as stressed out as the other individuals. Shea is a junior and isn’t involved as much in the college process in the beginning but he is different in that he has an unstable home life where he has to take care of himself the majority of the time. Shea is driven and he goes back and forth on whether or not going to a top 20 school is essential to success. Sophia is cool calm and collective. She has confidence in herself and her abilities, she even mentions that she doesn’t find the curriculum at Lowell too difficult. She has several extra-curricular activities as well and a part-time job. Rachel is a biracial student who alludes to certain racism in the school. At one point she mentions that a student told her that they didn’t realize black people cared about grades. She has a hard time defining herself as either black or white. Knowing that being African American in the college admission process will benefit her steers her decision. All of these students approach the pressures of “succeeding” differently, which makes for an interesting look into their psyche.

There are several things that I believe Debbie Lum wanted to address in this documentary. Early on it is made clear that most of the population of Lowell is Asian, and it is hinted that being Asian comes at a disadvantage during college admissions. At one point we were told that a Stanford representative that visits the school made a comment alluding to limiting the number of Asian students they allow in for diversity. With a lot of the student body of Lowell applying to Ivy Leagues, Stanford, and the UC system, acceptance to these is growing harder to come by for this reason. The students are also referred to as robots, unfeeling machines that only concentrate on grades. This might be the truly heartbreaking part of the documentary as these are children after all. The documentary displays the vast personalities of its subjects and they are anything but robots.

Lum does a good job showcasing the pressure that these students have to handle daily, and you can’t help but cheer for every single one of them. Definitely add Try Harder! to your watch list.

The post Try Harder! A Wonderful Documentary about the Evergrowing Pressure of College Admissions appeared first on The Nerd Element.

Twitter/Melody Cooper (@melodyMcooper) By Ashlee Banks ·February 17, 2021February 17, 2021

Amy Cooper—the 41-year-old white woman who infamously called the cops on a Black man who was peacefully birdwatching in New York City’s Central Park—is off the hook now that her criminal case has been thrown out. 

Christan Cooper was enjoying his hobby on May 25, 2020 when he saw Amy and asked her to leash her dog, which is the law in Central Park. Amy wasn’t too pleased with a Black man asking her to be a law-abiding citizen, so she decided to use her privilege against him in retaliation. She called the cops and lied to them. She said she was being threatened by “an African American man.” Amy wanted Christian to be punished for simply asking her to comply with the law and to be a responsible dog owner. Violent, deadly encounters between police and Black people have been more public in recent years, which means Amy knew what she was doing. Christian could’ve easily been a trending hashtag in 2020, alongside George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery.

Due to backlash, Amy was fired from her job as a portfolio manager at Franklin Templeton, an investment firm in California. She was also arrested and charged with one count of filing a false report against Christian. Many of us thought Amy was going to face serious consequences for putting Christian’s life in danger. That hope dissipated when it was announced on Tuesday, February 16 that the charge against Amy had been dropped. Why? Well, it’s because she completed a diversionary counseling program. Prosecutors said this program served the purpose of educating her on her actions, as if Amy was a 4-year-old girl who was ignorant about what she was doing. 

Amy knew exactly what she was doing, which is why a few weeks of counseling isn’t enough. Counseling won’t remove Amy’s racist ideologies. It isn’t going to stop Amy from calling the cops the next time a Black man or woman calls her out for being a law breaker. Thanks to her Whiteness, she knows the law is on her side. Even worse, she is the clearly the type of person who has no problem abusing her privilege. Once again, the justice system has failed the victim.

Officials had the power to sentence Amy and make her serve as an example to all the “Karens” who constantly put the lives of Black and Brown people in danger. She is no different than the White women who scream rape when they’re caught with Black men they secretly desire. She’s no different from Carolyn Bryant Donham, the woman who lied on Emmett Till. 

Amy Cooper threatened a man’s life that day in May. Some would say calling the cops to make a false claim of violence against a Black person amounts to attempted murder. She deserves a punishment that fits her crime. 

The post Amy Cooper Proves Once Again That White Privilege Prevails appeared first on Essence.

Fans of multi-talented actor Nick Sagar may recognize him from roles such as Charles Frederickson in Tyler Perry’s The Have and Have Nots or in both installments of Netflix’s hit Christmas films, The Princess Switch, in the role of the handsome dad, Kevin Richards. Now Sagar is set to take on a new role as sauve Anderson Louis in Starz upcoming show Run the World.

Sagar tells BGN about his excitement for the upcoming show.

Run the World is set to premiere in Spring 2021. Tell me about your process of auditioning and your reaction when you booked the role.

I was over the moon when I got the role. I’d had a chance to read the script and knew what the premise was going to be. It’s exactly the type of show we need right now — a fresh innovative look at four Black women and their careers, love lives, friendships, and how they navigate life in the big city. I’m just glad to be a part of it.

You play Anderson Louis in the show. How did you prepare for this role and how would you describe this character?

What stood out to me about the role was that I could relate to parts of him. I used that as a base to create Anderson. He’s a very passionate loving guy who values his lady very highly. The struggle comes when balancing their careers and love life. He definitely makes some decisions I wouldn’t [laughs], but that’s where the fun in playing characters comes from.

The show tells the story of Black friends simply navigating through life. Why do you think these storylines are important to have in this day and age?

They’re extremely important because there wasn’t enough growing up. Media has a huge role to play in shaping people’s realities and has the power to help people dream. On the flip side, it can also limit us if we’re not getting the right content. Accurate cultural representation is vital for us as humans to move forward as one. Telling these stories sheds light on the lives that so many can relate to but have had less representation over the years. I love that we are breaking molds and stereotypes, which is long overdue!

You’re currently working on other projects as well, such as the third installment of Princess Switch. How has set life been amid COVID-19, and has it been difficult to get acclimated to such a huge change in set life?

We’re almost done on Princess Switch 3. It’s been so good to be back with the family. They’ve been missed dearly. Having such a close set helps to make navigating these difficult times easier. We’re extremely privileged to be working at this time, and everyone takes that into account. They really are a great bunch.

If you could work with any actor on any project, who/what would it be and why?

That’s a good one. There are a few I’d like to work with. I’d love to do some action with Jackie Chan. Denzel, of course. It would be cool to do something different with my good friend Tika Sumpter. We worked on The Have and Have Nots together. Maybe some sort of action flick. [Laughs.] You can tell I’m looking for some action roles!

Any closing remarks?

Just thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this. Thank you to the team at Black Girl Nerds for featuring me — it’s really appreciated. Blessings, peace and love to all!