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The Chloé Zhao-directed Eternals now has the lowest critics’ ranking for any Marvel Studios movie on the review aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes. With an average of 47%, Eternals is “rotten,” critically speaking—the first MCU film branded with that tomato splotch. Meanwhile, the long-lambasted Thor: The Dark World rates a 66%, and Avengers: Age of Ultron, which I have bleached from my brain, has a 76%. Even The Incredible Hulk, starring Edward Norton and forgotten by most viewing audiences, pulled in a 67% critical score.
The lashing Eternals has received in reviews makes zero sense to me. While the movie is long and stuffed to the brim with characters and storylines, I was never bored, and I emerged feeling reinvigorated and excited for Marvel’s future. It is, in fact, the first Marvel movie in recent memory I’d be glad to watch again in theaters. Black Widow was a paint-by-the-numbers retread of everything we’ve seen in the MCU so many times before, and Shang-Chi, while enjoyable and entertaining, told a pretty standard origin story.
Eternals offers something different from the basic cookie-cutter narratives we’ve gotten time and time again in MCU movies. The film boldly trots around the globe and through the centuries. It presents a plethora of intriguing characters who ask interesting questions about human nature. The cast is gorgeously diverse, and the movie features Marvel Studios’ first big-screen queer superhero and same-sex kiss, representation that it handles with nuance and sensitivity.
And while it may have added new perspectives and a massive cosmic scope to the MCU, Eternals isn’t that far from your typical Marvel superhero film, either. There are quips, lengthy and constant CGI battles, betrayals, close-fitting super-suits, and displays of awesome power. So the reviews complaining that Eternals doesn’t feel like Marvel baffle me as well.
Now, as a devoted Thor fan, I’m not saying that The Dark World is necessarily the worst Marvel movie ever made. There are some well-done and memorable aspects of it, like Thor’s overall aesthetic, Loki’s grief in his prison cell over the loss of his mother Frigga, Loki turning into Captain America, and Loki’s dramatic “death” scene.
But the movie on the whole has long been regarded as one of Marvel’s weakest links, with a plodding mess of a plot and a villain called Malekith the Dark Elf, a role that underused the great Christopher Eccleston to an extent that should be illegal. Even star Chris Hemsworth publically called The Dark World “Meh,” while Eccleston took that a step further and said of the film, “Just a gun in your mouth.” Hemsworth grew so tired of the constraints of the character that he was unenthusiastic about playing Thor again until Taika Waititi reinvigorated the franchise with his witty, wacky, tongue-in-cheek Ragnarok.
What I’m saying here is that there is no way on Earth or Asgard that Eternals is a worse MCU movie than Thor: The Dark World. In fact, this is one of the times where I believe the Rotten Tomatoes’ “audience score” has done far better justice than the critics. Audiences rate Eternals at 80%, and The Dark World at 75%. This seems fair to me; I don’t always agree with other critics, but no results have made me scratch my head more than the seeming widespread disdain for Eternals from people who make a living thinking about movies.
So what’s going on here? Our Princess Weekes previously discussed some of the possible reasons for the blowback, writing, “Are there going to be people who dislike this film because of it being BIPOC-led and directed, with gay representation? Sure. But that should not mean that we can’t have critical discourse about the film.” Princess rightfully points out that Eternals helps set the stage for an MCU Stage Four that is “going to be a lot weirder and less mainstream.” Some audiences and critics were no doubt put off by a movie packed full of out-there mythology and a pantheon of godlike characters after the likes of “normal” superheroes like down-home billionaire Tony Stark and everything we had known about how the Marvel cinematic world worked before.
“Guardians could exist without messing with what had been created thus far,” Princess writes. “Eternals doesn’t have that same privilege.”
This is, I think, a very fair assessment, and we should absolutely also be critical and able to discuss Eternals’ weak spots. Personally, I wish they’d kept the Deviants as intelligent, worthy enemies to counter; the whole Deviants side of the film is more than a bit of a let-down and rather confusing. Like most big movies that emerge these days, Eternals could likely have benefited from a slimmed-down runtime and a less bombastic conclusion.
But in terms of Eternals being just too odd or out there, the Thor movies also introduced a lot of weird and godlike characters and strange mythology. So nothing satisfactorily explains how Malekith, the Aether, the Convergence, and Malekith’s “What?” master plan to revert the universe to its primordial darkness somehow ranks higher than Eternals’ charged family drama.
I also think that Zhao’s efforts, arriving after she won a Best Director Oscar, were always going to be looked at more snootily by so-called film aficionados eager to pick apart the season’s most acclaimed director for her lighting choices. Add to that unorthodox (until now) elements in a Marvel movie like its first sex scene and LGBTQIA+ representation, and you set up a certain chorus primed to cry foul. And of course, there are more people reviewing Eternals and more people paying attention to the MCU’s every breath and twitch than there were in 2013 when The Dark World bowed.
Ultimately, the way we feel about movies is subjective, and you’re more than allowed to dislike Eternals if it wasn’t your cup of tea. But the pile-on that Eternals received from professional critics began to seem like a game of one-upmanship as to who could most witheringly declare the movie to be the death knell for the MCU as we knew it. There was a sense that some were all too happy and ready to tear it apart with a claws-out viciousness we do not usually direct at superhero fare.
I do know some things for certain. Eternals is not the worst Marvel movie ever made; I’d put it in my top ten favorites. And it is not, in any universe, a worse movie than Thor: The Dark World.
(images: Marvel Studios)
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The post There’s No Way Eternals Is Worse Than Thor: The Dark World first appeared on The Mary Sue.
The Chloé Zhao-directed Eternals now has the lowest critics’ ranking for any Marvel Studios movie on the review aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes. With an average of 47%, Eternals is “rotten,” critically speaking—the first MCU film branded with that tomato splotch. Meanwhile, the long-lambasted Thor: The Dark World rates a 66%, and Avengers: Age of Ultron, which I have bleached from my brain, has a 76%. Even The Incredible Hulk, starring Edward Norton and forgotten by most viewing audiences, pulled in a 67% critical score.
The lashing Eternals has received in reviews makes zero sense to me. While the movie is long and stuffed to the brim with characters and storylines, I was never bored, and I emerged feeling reinvigorated and excited for Marvel’s future. It is, in fact, the first Marvel movie in recent memory I’d be glad to watch again in theaters. Black Widow was a paint-by-the-numbers retread of everything we’ve seen in the MCU so many times before, and Shang-Chi, while enjoyable and entertaining, told a pretty standard origin story.
Eternals offers something different from the basic cookie-cutter narratives we’ve gotten time and time again in MCU movies. The film boldly trots around the globe and through the centuries. It presents a plethora of intriguing characters who ask interesting questions about human nature. The cast is gorgeously diverse, and the movie features Marvel Studios’ first big-screen queer superhero and same-sex kiss, representation that it handles with nuance and sensitivity.
And while it may have added new perspectives and a massive cosmic scope to the MCU, Eternals isn’t that far from your typical Marvel superhero film, either. There are quips, lengthy and constant CGI battles, betrayals, close-fitting super-suits, and displays of awesome power. So the reviews complaining that Eternals doesn’t feel like Marvel baffle me as well.
Now, as a devoted Thor fan, I’m not saying that The Dark World is necessarily the worst Marvel movie ever made. There are some well-done and memorable aspects of it, like Thor’s overall aesthetic, Loki’s grief in his prison cell over the loss of his mother Frigga, Loki turning into Captain America, and Loki’s dramatic “death” scene.
But the movie on the whole has long been regarded as one of Marvel’s weakest links, with a plodding mess of a plot and a villain called Malekith the Dark Elf, a role that underused the great Christopher Eccleston to an extent that should be illegal. Even star Chris Hemsworth publically called The Dark World “Meh,” while Eccleston took that a step further and said of the film, “Just a gun in your mouth.” Hemsworth grew so tired of the constraints of the character that he was unenthusiastic about playing Thor again until Taika Waititi reinvigorated the franchise with his witty, wacky, tongue-in-cheek Ragnarok.
What I’m saying here is that there is no way on Earth or Asgard that Eternals is a worse MCU movie than Thor: The Dark World. In fact, this is one of the times where I believe the Rotten Tomatoes’ “audience score” has done far better justice than the critics. Audiences rate Eternals at 80%, and The Dark World at 75%. This seems fair to me; I don’t always agree with other critics, but no results have made me scratch my head more than the seeming widespread disdain for Eternals from people who make a living thinking about movies.
So what’s going on here? Our Princess Weekes previously discussed some of the possible reasons for the blowback, writing, “Are there going to be people who dislike this film because of it being BIPOC-led and directed, with gay representation? Sure. But that should not mean that we can’t have critical discourse about the film.” Princess rightfully points out that Eternals helps set the stage for an MCU Stage Four that is “going to be a lot weirder and less mainstream.” Some audiences and critics were no doubt put off by a movie packed full of out-there mythology and a pantheon of godlike characters after the likes of “normal” superheroes like down-home billionaire Tony Stark and everything we had known about how the Marvel cinematic world worked before.
“Guardians could exist without messing with what had been created thus far,” Princess writes. “Eternals doesn’t have that same privilege.”
This is, I think, a very fair assessment, and we should absolutely also be critical and able to discuss Eternals’ weak spots. Personally, I wish they’d kept the Deviants as intelligent, worthy enemies to counter; the whole Deviants side of the film is more than a bit of a let-down and rather confusing. Like most big movies that emerge these days, Eternals could likely have benefited from a slimmed-down runtime and a less bombastic conclusion.
But in terms of Eternals being just too odd or out there, the Thor movies also introduced a lot of weird and godlike characters and strange mythology. So nothing satisfactorily explains how Malekith, the Aether, the Convergence, and Malekith’s “What?” master plan to revert the universe to its primordial darkness somehow ranks higher than Eternals’ charged family drama.
I also think that Zhao’s efforts, arriving after she won a Best Director Oscar, were always going to be looked at more snootily by so-called film aficionados eager to pick apart the season’s most acclaimed director for her lighting choices. Add to that unorthodox (until now) elements in a Marvel movie like its first sex scene and LGBTQIA+ representation, and you set up a certain chorus primed to cry foul. And of course, there are more people reviewing Eternals and more people paying attention to the MCU’s every breath and twitch than there were in 2013 when The Dark World bowed.
Ultimately, the way we feel about movies is subjective, and you’re more than allowed to dislike Eternals if it wasn’t your cup of tea. But the pile-on that Eternals received from professional critics began to seem like a game of one-upmanship as to who could most witheringly declare the movie to be the death knell for the MCU as we knew it. There was a sense that some were all too happy and ready to tear it apart with a claws-out viciousness we do not usually direct at superhero fare.
I do know some things for certain. Eternals is not the worst Marvel movie ever made; I’d put it in my top ten favorites. And it is not, in any universe, a worse movie than Thor: The Dark World.
(images: Marvel Studios)
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—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
The post There’s No Way Eternals Is Worse Than Thor: The Dark World first appeared on The Mary Sue.
Texas senator and least popular American Ted Cruz was roundly roasted by the Internet after he derided Sesame Street’s Big Bird for receiving the coronavirus vaccine. Protecting children from deadly diseases and educating them about science is bad if you’re Ted Cruz! From the resulting hubbub, however, emerged the brilliant, hilarious, and incisive Big Bird for Senate parody account, which is gathering steam for progressive causes and ensuring a roast for Cruz on a near-daily basis.
Now Saturday Night Live has stepped into the ring. In a six-minute cold open, Aidy Bryant plays Ted Cruz as he introduces “Cruz Street,” a right-wing version of Sesame Street to be seen on “Newsmax Kids” (following White Power Rangers, natch). The sketch is funny and biting, but at the same time, it acts as a timely indictment of the absurdity and horrors of Republican and far-right politics and commentary.
“When Big Bird told children get vaccinated against a deadly disease, I said, ‘Enough,’ and I created my own Sesame Street called Cruz Street,” Bryant as “Cruz” says. “It’s a gated community. Kids are safe from the woke government.”
The sketch features Cecily Strong as an AR-15-clutching Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who calls one of the kids a “pussy” for not wanting to hold the gun and proclaims, “Today’s episode is brought to you by Q, not the letter, the man. He will tell us when JFK Jr., who is alive, will reveal himself and help President Trump proclaim his rightful throne.”
When “Big Bird” encounters Cruz, it plays out like this:
Then Big Bird arrived, telling Cruz, “Oh man. I don’t feel too good.”
“So this is what happened to you a week after you got the vaccine?” Cruz asked.
“It sure is,” Big Bird told him. “My feathers fell out. My nuts got huge. And my joints don’t work. It’s real bad man.”
Cruz then advises that a bath in Borax could cure Big Bird’s ills.
Also visiting Cruz on his Street is “our medical expert, Joe Rogan,” played by Pete Davidson looking like a cross between Nosferatu and Uncle Fester. “I used to host Fear Factor, and now doctors fear me,” snarls “Rogan” as he snacks from a giant bag of drugs that includes Zinc, ayahuasca, and “horse medicine.”
“Cruz” goes over the letters of the day, CRT, which he says he believes stands for “caucasian rights trampled.” He then introduces “two of our Proud Boys, Bert and Ernie.” Luckily for us but less so for Cruz, it turns out that this Bert and Ernie are proud in terms of their burgeoning relationship, and are now engaged.
While the sketch is clever and takes many a well-needed potshot at Cruz and the inanity of right-wing discourse, it’s terrifying to think that what they’re preaching on Cruz Street is what many kids are actually hearing from their parents at home.
All the more reason to have and support the real Big Bird and his friends, who have been telling us the truth and helping kids reach better understanding of the world since 1969, before Ted Cruz was even born. (Or at least the birth date he gives in an attempt to deflect from the fact that he could be the Zodiac Killer.)
(via Deadline, image: screengrab)
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The post Ted Cruz Gets Skewered by SNL as They Take Us to a Nightmarish Right-Wing Sesame Street first appeared on The Mary Sue.
If you’re shopping for holiday presents, may I recommend a gift that will please STEM folks, dinosaur enthusiasts, Jurassic Park partisans, action figure aficionados, and, well, just about anyone who likes cool things?
The indie studio Creative Beast has a fun, stunning, and varied collection of dinosaur action figures for every person on your list. Best of all, they’re created with scrupulous attention to detail by using the most accurate and up-to-date scientific information about our favorite giants of the past. That’s right, you can now have a feathered velociraptor of your very own.
I actually gasped when I first laid eyes on this guy (that’s Linheraptor exquisitus to you):
This agile desert hunter relied on its sharp sickle claw and amazing speed to capture prey. Named after the district where its fossils were discovered and known from just one nearly-complete skeleton, Linheraptor exquisitus features eye-popping reds, yellows, blues, and blacks — just like tropical birds. (Linheraptor exquisitus on Creative Beast, $49.99)
Creative Beast’s “Beasts of the Mesozoic” line was started by toy designer and sculptor David Silva, who has worked for companies like McFarlane and Hasbro. Silva’s first run of these majestic creatures began with a popular Kickstarter campaign in 2016 that made the news as fans flocked to the idea of scientifically accurate dinosaur figures.
And when they say detailed, they mean detailed. Creative Beast sent me a couple of dinos to examine up close. Not only are they gorgeous, but they’re the most articulated action figures I’ve ever encountered. I’m currently hanging out with Velociraptor mongoliensis.
Perhaps the most recognizable name in the dromaeosaur family, Velociraptor mongoliensis was not the man-sized villain of the movies but a “Swift Robber” from the deserts of Mongolia. Featuring beautifully sculpted feathers, stunning color, and of course that terrible toe claw, this figure makes a wonderful centerpiece in any dino-centric collection! (Velociraptor mongoliensis on Creative Beast, $49.99)
Like all the raptors in the raptor line, it features 26 points of articulation. I can move individual toes, swap out its claws, reshape the cleverly wired tail, open and close its mouth (which is full of remarkably tiny, perfect teeth and a movable tongue), and that’s just to start. It’s astonishing how many different ways there are to manipulate this figure, and I fear it may have ruined me for superhero toys forever. The painting and sculpting are remarkable and vivid for a plastic collectible; you can see every single individual feather, and those claws are pointy.
Beyond the expansive raptor line (which features a three-pack of adorable nestling baby raptors), there’s also a new Ceratopsian series. These are the robust dinosaurs with horns, beaks, and frills that not only stand up to the rigors of playtime, they make for striking statement pieces on display. Meet, for example, my pal Styracosaurus albertensis:
A tribute to one of the most recognizable ceratopsians, Creative Beast Studio’s Styracosaurus albertensis action figure measures a robust 12″ long. An imposing figure on a bookshelf or Mesozoic floodplain, Styracosaurus sports both nose and frill horns, as well as a unique frill colorization reminiscent of a Rorschach test crossed with a Jackson Pollock painting. (Styracosaurus albertensis on Creative Beast, $69.99)
Or catch everyone’s eye with the inimitable Pachyrhinosaurus lakustai:
Pachyrhinosaurus lakustai is unique even among its amazingly-diverse ceratopsian cousins. This 15” long action figure highlights the dinosaur’s large flat bosses over its nose and eyes, instead of the pointed nose horns many ceratopsians don. Its one-of-a-kind frill ornamentation put this four-legged giant in a category all its own. (Pachyrhinosaurus lakustai on Creative Beast, $89.99)
Also hanging out with me at home is the vibrant Chasmosaurus belli, who seems, dare I say it for a dinosaur who weighed up to two tons when it roamed the earth, rather cuddly. Chasmosaurus belli also looks great posed amongst your household plants.
This 10.25” figure showcases Chasmosaurus belli’s extended frill coupled with a high-contrast paint design of neon green, dark brown, light brown, and white. Discovered in Canada’s Dinosaur Provincial Park, this distinctive ceratopsian was just as likely to attract mates with its discrete frill as it was to repel potential predators. (Chasmosaurus belli on Creative Beast, $49.99)
Many of the dinosaurs also come with stands, collectible trading cards, and backdrop designs against which to pose them. Here are a few more of my faves:
This handsome fella, Zuniceratops christopheri, is available in both a standard and an edition that GLOWS IN THE DARK. I love him.
Who needs a night light when you have a three-horned glow-in-the-dark dinosaur to protect you from the Boogie Man! Measuring 8.5” from tip to tail, Zuniceratops lights up green in the dark after exposure to light. This dinosaur turns heads both night and day! (Zuniceratops christopheri on Creative Beast, $29.99 for Standard and Glow-in-the-Dark Editions)
Remember that baby raptor set? WHAT IF THEY WERE HIGHLY CUSTOMIZABLE BABY RAPTORS?!!?!
Before they grew into ferocious adults, raptors were cute little babies — albeit with pointed teeth and razor-sharp claws. At 3” long x 2” tall, these three snow-white nestlings scale perfectly with the deluxe adult figures. With eight points of articulation and interchangeable parts, they are cute and highly customizable! (Nestlings 3-Pack at Creative Beast, $29.99)
Do you adore nothing more than dinosaurs showing off their feathers? Do I have a raptor for you. Say hello to Zhenyuanlong suni: 
Known as “Zhenyuan’s Dragon,” Zhenyuanlong suni stands out from other dromaeosaurs due to its long arms and elongated tail feathers. Looking at Zhenyuanlong, it’s not hard to see that birds evolved from dinosaurs! However, its short arms could not power flight, so no one knows how these ostentatious feathers were used. (Zhenyuanlong suni at Creative Beast, $39.99 for Standard or Fan’s Choice Editions)
You can check out the full “Beasts of the Mesozoic” line at Creative Beast, or go straight to the Raptors or Cerotopsian series. There are many other dinosaurs to be found, as well as model kits if you want to build your own. I wish I could travel back in time and gift these to myself when Jurassic Park came out in 1993. Since I can’t, I’m going to continue saying “roarr” a bunch as I play with my exquisite dinosaurs and feel like a kid again.
(images: Creative Beast Studio)
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The post Realistic Feathered Dinosaur Action Figures for the Holidays? Take My Money. first appeared on The Mary Sue.