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Let's get to it, people!  The longstanding Archimedes quote-"The shortest distance between two points is a straight line" remains as constant as well.....a straight line.  Pull up a seat and listen to the latest musings of Afronerd Radio's Grindhouse broadcast airing every Sunday at 6 p.m. eastern on BTalk 100.  The topics up for grabs thiS week are as follows: more news is coming out concerning the BTS production of  Wakanda Forever, the sequel to the 2018 blockbuster, The Black Panther.  If it's not speculation about Shuri actress, Letitia Wright, then it's the recent rumor that the actor who portrayed M'Baku, Winston Duke, might be donning the Panther mantle. Let's discuss.;  the animated translation of the Blade Runner franchise, Blade Runner: Black Lotus, made its debut this weekend and we give our impressions; 

One thing that Dburt is doing (finally) is investing in cryptocurrency, courtesy of Roundlyx. We would implore our followers to investigate, discern and then explore by using our referral code: afro-87A4BF

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Ghostbusters: Afterlife comes to us from Jason Reitman, son of the original director Ivan Reitman. And it feels like a return to the world of nostalgia that has become the legacy of the Ghostbusters themselves. While I am a fan of Ghostbusters: Answer the Call, I will say that watching Afterlife and having that connection back to the original movies raises the emotional stakes and makes Afterlife just work.

Focused on the estranged family of Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis), the film takes place in Summerville, Oklahoma, where Egon fled to live on a dirt farm after abandoning the Ghostbusters and leaving his daughter Callie (Carrie Coon) when she was just a baby. But when Callie and her children, Trevor (Finn Wolfhard) and Phoebe (McKenna Grace), fall on hard times, they take to Summerville to live in Egon’s farm and pack up some of his belongings to try to sell for money.

The breakdown of this movie is incredibly similar to the original Ghostbusters from 1984 but that’s the design of it. It’s meant to bring us back into that world from the 80s even so that those events are history and documented even though the younger characters in the movie don’t really know what happened (which is a fun commentary on how we view historical events versus how the younger generations deem their importance).

But what works about Afterlife is Phoebe. The entire movie is filled with fun characters and a wonderful new crew to take us on this journey (and future ones if they want) but Phoebe is the heart that connects it all back to Egon, Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, and Winston Zeddemore.

Phoebe is essentially a mini-Egon. While Callie doesn’t really care about science and even scoffs at it at times, Phoebe embraces her love of it and is constantly experimenting, even has glasses just like Egon’s despite not knowing that he was her grandfather. But as she learns about the Ghostbusters and learns about what her grandfather did, she knows that she’s like him and that heart drives the movie forward.

It’s filled with amazing performances from Finn Wolfhard (who has his own shared connection to the Ghostbusters movies thanks to Stranger Things) and Celeste O’Connor. Paul Rudd obviously understands the comedy of the movie and functions as a mix of Louis Tully as well as the history lesson that Phoebe and her friend Podcast (Logan Kim) need. Speaking of Podcast, I would truly lay my life on the line for this small boy who has a podcast about the supernatural that has only one subscriber but that doesn’t stop him.

To keep the mystery and the joy of Ghostbusters: Afterlife alive, I won’t get into spoilers but I will say that the movie knows exactly how to tug on your heart in the best way and I found myself crying multiple times over and it is worth it to be back in the world of the Ghostbusters once again. After all, who you gonna call?

(image: Sony Pictures)

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The Chloé Zhao-directed Eternals now has the lowest critics’ ranking for any Marvel Studios movie on the review aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes. With an average of 47%, Eternals is “rotten,” critically speaking—the first MCU film branded with that tomato splotch. Meanwhile, the long-lambasted Thor: The Dark World rates a 66%, and Avengers: Age of Ultron, which I have bleached from my brain, has a 76%. Even The Incredible Hulk, starring Edward Norton and forgotten by most viewing audiences, pulled in a 67% critical score.

The lashing Eternals has received in reviews makes zero sense to me. While the movie is long and stuffed to the brim with characters and storylines, I was never bored, and I emerged feeling reinvigorated and excited for Marvel’s future. It is, in fact, the first Marvel movie in recent memory I’d be glad to watch again in theaters. Black Widow was a paint-by-the-numbers retread of everything we’ve seen in the MCU so many times before, and Shang-Chi, while enjoyable and entertaining, told a pretty standard origin story.

Eternals offers something different from the basic cookie-cutter narratives we’ve gotten time and time again in MCU movies. The film boldly trots around the globe and through the centuries. It presents a plethora of intriguing characters who ask interesting questions about human nature. The cast is gorgeously diverse, and the movie features Marvel Studios’ first big-screen queer superhero and same-sex kiss, representation that it handles with nuance and sensitivity.

And while it may have added new perspectives and a massive cosmic scope to the MCU, Eternals isn’t that far from your typical Marvel superhero film, either. There are quips, lengthy and constant CGI battles, betrayals, close-fitting super-suits, and displays of awesome power. So the reviews complaining that Eternals doesn’t feel like Marvel baffle me as well.

Now, as a devoted Thor fan, I’m not saying that The Dark World is necessarily the worst Marvel movie ever made. There are some well-done and memorable aspects of it, like Thor’s overall aesthetic, Loki’s grief in his prison cell over the loss of his mother Frigga, Loki turning into Captain America, and Loki’s dramatic “death” scene.

But the movie on the whole has long been regarded as one of Marvel’s weakest links, with a plodding mess of a plot and a villain called Malekith the Dark Elf, a role that underused the great Christopher Eccleston to an extent that should be illegal. Even star Chris Hemsworth publically called The Dark World “Meh,” while Eccleston took that a step further and said of the film, “Just a gun in your mouth.” Hemsworth grew so tired of the constraints of the character that he was unenthusiastic about playing Thor again until Taika Waititi reinvigorated the franchise with his witty, wacky, tongue-in-cheek Ragnarok.

What I’m saying here is that there is no way on Earth or Asgard that Eternals is a worse MCU movie than Thor: The Dark World. In fact, this is one of the times where I believe the Rotten Tomatoes’ “audience score” has done far better justice than the critics. Audiences rate Eternals at 80%, and The Dark World at 75%. This seems fair to me; I don’t always agree with other critics, but no results have made me scratch my head more than the seeming widespread disdain for Eternals from people who make a living thinking about movies.

So what’s going on here? Our Princess Weekes previously discussed some of the possible reasons for the blowback, writing, “Are there going to be people who dislike this film because of it being BIPOC-led and directed, with gay representation? Sure. But that should not mean that we can’t have critical discourse about the film.” Princess rightfully points out that Eternals helps set the stage for an MCU Stage Four that is “going to be a lot weirder and less mainstream.” Some audiences and critics were no doubt put off by a movie packed full of out-there mythology and a pantheon of godlike characters after the likes of “normal” superheroes like down-home billionaire Tony Stark and everything we had known about how the Marvel cinematic world worked before.

“Guardians could exist without messing with what had been created thus far,” Princess writes. “Eternals doesn’t have that same privilege.”

This is, I think, a very fair assessment, and we should absolutely also be critical and able to discuss Eternals’ weak spots. Personally, I wish they’d kept the Deviants as intelligent, worthy enemies to counter; the whole Deviants side of the film is more than a bit of a let-down and rather confusing. Like most big movies that emerge these days, Eternals could likely have benefited from a slimmed-down runtime and a less bombastic conclusion.

But in terms of Eternals being just too odd or out there, the Thor movies also introduced a lot of weird and godlike characters and strange mythology. So nothing satisfactorily explains how Malekith, the Aether, the Convergence, and Malekith’s “What?” master plan to revert the universe to its primordial darkness somehow ranks higher than Eternals’ charged family drama.

I also think that Zhao’s efforts, arriving after she won a Best Director Oscar, were always going to be looked at more snootily by so-called film aficionados eager to pick apart the season’s most acclaimed director for her lighting choices. Add to that unorthodox (until now) elements in a Marvel movie like its first sex scene and LGBTQIA+ representation, and you set up a certain chorus primed to cry foul. And of course, there are more people reviewing Eternals and more people paying attention to the MCU’s every breath and twitch than there were in 2013 when The Dark World bowed.

Ultimately, the way we feel about movies is subjective, and you’re more than allowed to dislike Eternals if it wasn’t your cup of tea. But the pile-on that Eternals received from professional critics began to seem like a game of one-upmanship as to who could most witheringly declare the movie to be the death knell for the MCU as we knew it. There was a sense that some were all too happy and ready to tear it apart with a claws-out viciousness we do not usually direct at superhero fare.

I do know some things for certain. Eternals is not the worst Marvel movie ever made; I’d put it in my top ten favorites. And it is not, in any universe, a worse movie than Thor: The Dark World.

(images: Marvel Studios)

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Texas senator and least popular American Ted Cruz was roundly roasted by the Internet after he derided Sesame Street’s Big Bird for receiving the coronavirus vaccine. Protecting children from deadly diseases and educating them about science is bad if you’re Ted Cruz! From the resulting hubbub, however, emerged the brilliant, hilarious, and incisive Big Bird for Senate parody account, which is gathering steam for progressive causes and ensuring a roast for Cruz on a near-daily basis.

Now Saturday Night Live has stepped into the ring. In a six-minute cold open, Aidy Bryant plays Ted Cruz as he introduces “Cruz Street,” a right-wing version of Sesame Street to be seen on “Newsmax Kids” (following White Power Rangers, natch). The sketch is funny and biting, but at the same time, it acts as a timely indictment of the absurdity and horrors of Republican and far-right politics and commentary.

“When Big Bird told children get vaccinated against a deadly disease, I said, ‘Enough,’ and I created my own Sesame Street called Cruz Street,” Bryant as “Cruz” says. “It’s a gated community. Kids are safe from the woke government.”

The sketch features Cecily Strong as an AR-15-clutching Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who calls one of the kids a “pussy” for not wanting to hold the gun and proclaims, “Today’s episode is brought to you by Q, not the letter, the man. He will tell us when JFK Jr., who is alive, will reveal himself and help President Trump proclaim his rightful throne.”

When “Big Bird” encounters Cruz, it plays out like this:

Then Big Bird arrived, telling Cruz, “Oh man. I don’t feel too good.”

“So this is what happened to you a week after you got the vaccine?” Cruz asked.

“It sure is,” Big Bird told him. “My feathers fell out. My nuts got huge. And my joints don’t work. It’s real bad man.”

Cruz then advises that a bath in Borax could cure Big Bird’s ills.

Also visiting Cruz on his Street is “our medical expert, Joe Rogan,” played by Pete Davidson looking like a cross between Nosferatu and Uncle Fester. “I used to host Fear Factor, and now doctors fear me,” snarls “Rogan” as he snacks from a giant bag of drugs that includes Zinc, ayahuasca, and “horse medicine.”

“Cruz” goes over the letters of the day, CRT, which he says he believes stands for “caucasian rights trampled.” He then introduces “two of our Proud Boys, Bert and Ernie.” Luckily for us but less so for Cruz, it turns out that this Bert and Ernie are proud in terms of their burgeoning relationship, and are now engaged.

While the sketch is clever and takes many a well-needed potshot at Cruz and the inanity of right-wing discourse, it’s terrifying to think that what they’re preaching on Cruz Street is what many kids are actually hearing from their parents at home.

All the more reason to have and support the real Big Bird and his friends, who have been telling us the truth and helping kids reach better understanding of the world since 1969, before Ted Cruz was even born. (Or at least the birth date he gives in an attempt to deflect from the fact that he could be the Zodiac Killer.)

(via Deadline, image: screengrab)

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