Candice Marie Benbow situates her work at the intersections of beauty, faith, feminism, and culture, giving voice to Black women’s shared experiences of healing and journeying toward wholeness. A theologian and educator, she never minces words. This is why we love her.
In her first book, Red Lip Theology: For Church Girls Who’ve Considered Tithing to the Beauty Supply Store When Sunday Morning Isn’t Enough, Benbow is funny and deeply personal. She’s so real that as I read, I felt exposed. The essays speak to loss, forgiveness, heartache, and sexuality. It’s a love letter to Black women that I could not put down.
BGN had the pleasure of speaking with Benbow via telephone to discuss the importance of her book, feminism as it relates to Black women, and what it means to be fully loved by God.
First, congratulations on Red Lip Theology. Recently, you posted on Instagram that you prayed Black women would “really get” this book, and that you wrote it for us. Why was this book so important for you to put out in the world?
One of the things I was always frustrated about was that there were a lot of faith conversations taking place, but Black women were not at the forefront of those conversations. Then, there are some conversations that Black women are at the forefront of, but it’s a specific kind of Black woman. She may be much more conservative and traditional in her theology. There are sisters who love God, who are deeply faithful but have a different articulation of faith. We deserve equal opportunity to have conversations that are grounded holistically. I wanted to be a part of that movement. I wanted to be a part of what it means for Black women to think differently about faith. I wanted to be a part of what it looks like for us to be talking.
My prayer was that Black women would get it because I wrote it with the abiding love that I have for sisters to be at the center of their own faith conversations — to be hallowed in that and honor what it means to trust the voice of yourself, when you’re making faith decisions and don’t always have to lean on and hear from men. You can trust the knowing you have within yourself to question things, to honor things, to walk away from things, and you don’t need men to tell you how to move in that regard.
In the introduction of the book, you say, “No matter what condition I find myself in at any given moment, I know I am fully loved by God.” Why do Black women often feel when they have “messed up” or get off track that God will not love them anymore?
There’s so much shame that takes place when we make mistakes. There’s this idea that “I should know better.” The truth is we all make mistakes. There were times that I made a decision that I thought was best at the time. Then were times when I knew I was being a mess. I knew I was being trifling, and I did it anyway. Too often we let the shame move us into some really morbid and morose thoughts about ourselves. That shame and guilt paralyzes us momentarily, and we’re not able to see the beauty of being able to make a different decision or the beauty of what it might mean to regroup.
Too often we borrow from society the expectation that we’re supposed to be perfect and that we’re supposed to do no wrong. When we don’t live up to that in our minds, we can be really brutal on ourselves. It’s just not loving, and it doesn’t give us the space to grow in care.
When we talk about feminism, many Black women avoid the conversation and hesitate calling themselves a feminist because they believe it’s only for white women. What are your thoughts about this?
When it comes to Black Christian women who are cisgender/heterosexual, we’re trying to denounce feminism because we think that’s going to push us a little bit closer in the line of getting a husband. We think it somehow suggests we are worthy of the things we want — a husband, a family. I believe we were created with intention; if God created me to be a woman and I am living out this life, then why would I be okay with things that oppress me? That is fundamentally antithetical to the life God wants for me, the same way that men, especially Christian men, should not want to live in a world where power is hoarded by them.
I had a random conversation with someone that said that the first wave of feminism is the only important one. How? Because it’s the only one that allowed us to get bank accounts, homes, and jobs, and that was enough. Other waves destroyed Black womanhood. But there are women in 2022 having to fight because their employers are finding creative ways to fire them after they had a child. But you’re telling me the best thing that’s happened to us is that we can go to the bank and open a checking account?
It becomes clear that part of their resistance to feminism is so that they can appeal to men. I desire family, marriage, and partnership just like everybody else. But not at the expense of my own personhood. Not at the expense of who I am as a woman. There are little girls in my family, there are little girls that will come behind me, and maybe I will have my own one day. I want them to know that nothing is impossible for them simply because they were born a female. It has to be that real and that understood.
As a Black woman writer, do you sometimes struggle with knowing your true work? How do you home in on what that is?
Absolutely. As far as figuring out what grounds my work and my writing, I will say that for the last seven to eight years, it’s been very clear to me that my work is rooted in the flourishing of Black people, Black women specifically. What I write always comes from that place. What helps us thrive and flourish? What’s in the way of us thriving and flourishing? Those are always my big questions, and that’s where my work is rooted. Ultimately, I’ve gotten very comfortable with my voice and understanding that is the work that I’m called to.
What I learned very quickly was to find an angle so that in every story I could bring those intentions to it. Once I took the time to get settled into the fact that I am writer, I didn’t shy away from that. I was able to move even more quickly into what that looks like for me to honor and live into the call and the work.
Red Lip Theology is available January 18, 2022.
Candice Marie Benbow situates her work at the intersections of beauty, faith, feminism, and culture, giving voice to Black women’s shared experiences of healing and journeying toward wholeness. A theologian and educator, she never minces words. This is why we love her.
In her first book, Red Lip Theology: For Church Girls Who’ve Considered Tithing to the Beauty Supply Store When Sunday Morning Isn’t Enough, Benbow is funny and deeply personal. She’s so real that as I read, I felt exposed. The essays speak to loss, forgiveness, heartache, and sexuality. It’s a love letter to Black women that I could not put down.
BGN had the pleasure of speaking with Benbow via telephone to discuss the importance of her book, feminism as it relates to Black women, and what it means to be fully loved by God.
First, congratulations on Red Lip Theology. Recently, you posted on Instagram that you prayed Black women would “really get” this book, and that you wrote it for us. Why was this book so important for you to put out in the world?
One of the things I was always frustrated about was that there were a lot of faith conversations taking place, but Black women were not at the forefront of those conversations. Then, there are some conversations that Black women are at the forefront of, but it’s a specific kind of Black woman. She may be much more conservative and traditional in her theology. There are sisters who love God, who are deeply faithful but have a different articulation of faith. We deserve equal opportunity to have conversations that are grounded holistically. I wanted to be a part of that movement. I wanted to be a part of what it means for Black women to think differently about faith. I wanted to be a part of what it looks like for us to be talking.
My prayer was that Black women would get it because I wrote it with the abiding love that I have for sisters to be at the center of their own faith conversations — to be hallowed in that and honor what it means to trust the voice of yourself, when you’re making faith decisions and don’t always have to lean on and hear from men. You can trust the knowing you have within yourself to question things, to honor things, to walk away from things, and you don’t need men to tell you how to move in that regard.
In the introduction of the book, you say, “No matter what condition I find myself in at any given moment, I know I am fully loved by God.” Why do Black women often feel when they have “messed up” or get off track that God will not love them anymore?
There’s so much shame that takes place when we make mistakes. There’s this idea that “I should know better.” The truth is we all make mistakes. There were times that I made a decision that I thought was best at the time. Then were times when I knew I was being a mess. I knew I was being trifling, and I did it anyway. Too often we let the shame move us into some really morbid and morose thoughts about ourselves. That shame and guilt paralyzes us momentarily, and we’re not able to see the beauty of being able to make a different decision or the beauty of what it might mean to regroup.
Too often we borrow from society the expectation that we’re supposed to be perfect and that we’re supposed to do no wrong. When we don’t live up to that in our minds, we can be really brutal on ourselves. It’s just not loving, and it doesn’t give us the space to grow in care.
When we talk about feminism, many Black women avoid the conversation and hesitate calling themselves a feminist because they believe it’s only for white women. What are your thoughts about this?
When it comes to Black Christian women who are cisgender/heterosexual, we’re trying to denounce feminism because we think that’s going to push us a little bit closer in the line of getting a husband. We think it somehow suggests we are worthy of the things we want — a husband, a family. I believe we were created with intention; if God created me to be a woman and I am living out this life, then why would I be okay with things that oppress me? That is fundamentally antithetical to the life God wants for me, the same way that men, especially Christian men, should not want to live in a world where power is hoarded by them.
I had a random conversation with someone that said that the first wave of feminism is the only important one. How? Because it’s the only one that allowed us to get bank accounts, homes, and jobs, and that was enough. Other waves destroyed Black womanhood. But there are women in 2022 having to fight because their employers are finding creative ways to fire them after they had a child. But you’re telling me the best thing that’s happened to us is that we can go to the bank and open a checking account?
It becomes clear that part of their resistance to feminism is so that they can appeal to men. I desire family, marriage, and partnership just like everybody else. But not at the expense of my own personhood. Not at the expense of who I am as a woman. There are little girls in my family, there are little girls that will come behind me, and maybe I will have my own one day. I want them to know that nothing is impossible for them simply because they were born a female. It has to be that real and that understood.
As a Black woman writer, do you sometimes struggle with knowing your true work? How do you home in on what that is?
Absolutely. As far as figuring out what grounds my work and my writing, I will say that for the last seven to eight years, it’s been very clear to me that my work is rooted in the flourishing of Black people, Black women specifically. What I write always comes from that place. What helps us thrive and flourish? What’s in the way of us thriving and flourishing? Those are always my big questions, and that’s where my work is rooted. Ultimately, I’ve gotten very comfortable with my voice and understanding that is the work that I’m called to.
What I learned very quickly was to find an angle so that in every story I could bring those intentions to it. Once I took the time to get settled into the fact that I am writer, I didn’t shy away from that. I was able to move even more quickly into what that looks like for me to honor and live into the call and the work.
Red Lip Theology is available January 18, 2022.
Afronerd Radio can now be heard LIVE courtesy of Apple Music/Itunes
Howdy, folks! Please accept our apologies for the preemption of last week's Mid Week in Review program. Welcome to another fascinating Afronerd Radio experience via Sunday's Grindhouse broadcast airing tonight at 6 p.m. eastern on the BTalk 100 platform. Join your "Uru-powered" AFROnerdist hosts, as they wax about the following topics: First, since we missed last week's show, THIS program will contain a cavalcade of up-to-the-minute information: our thoughts about the upcoming Moon Knight Disney+ teaser that was recently released
The CW's Batwoman purportedly has DC's first Black Joker villain, and, of course, we have our thoughts.
Our thoughts about noted DC scribe, Geoff Johns, penning a sequel to Flashpoint entitled, Flashpoint Beyond; the legendary sci-fi author, the late Octavia Butler is finally getting her "closeup" courtesy of an FX series for highly-lauded Kindred novel; a new project centered around slave ancestry, intercultural marriage and a Kendrick Lamar soundtrack raises concerns (for Dburt); how authentic is Black pop culture if the (Black) creatives are not from the poorer urban environments envisioned in these IPs?; Dburt has some observations about Anime and how Blackness as a concept in pop culture should adapt certain mantras endemic to Japanese animation and comicdom; the US adaptation of the Indonesian cult classic, The Raid is ramping up; And if time permits, the team will touch on Marvel's proposed Halloween special (Disney+), Bob Fett, Naomi, and Superman & Lois at the CW; Batman Beyond and Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. reboot discussions.
One thing that Dburt is doing (finally) is investing in cryptocurrency, courtesy of Roundlyx. We would implore our followers to investigate, discern and then explore by using our referral code: afro-87A4BF
Call us LIVE at 508-645-0100. AFTER CLICKING ON THE HIGHLIGHTED LINK, GO DIRECTLY TO AFRONERD RADIO!!!
Also, Afronerd Radio's podcast format can be heard via BTalk 100 Pandora, Spotify and, IHeartRadio....more formats to follow!
Need help finding the perfect toddler slide for your home or yard? Have we got the list for you!
Slides, the most primitive of almost any playground equipment, but for some reason, kids can go down them a thousand times before getting bored. Although slides are a simple design, nowadays there are so many styles and extra baubles that can make playtime even more fun. A big bonus: It gets the kids out of your hair for a while. So, let’s climb the ladder and slide on down into our list of the best toddler slides for your home or yard!
For more fun ways to get kids active, pop on over to our list of the best toddler bikes and trikes!
Starplay is a family-owned company that sells all sorts of stuff including tons of durable outdoor items. Recommended for smaller toddlers, this slide is perfect for both indoor and outdoor use.
This dinosaur-inspired design comes in both soft blue and pink colors. On the side, you can play ring toss or basketball with your little ones. Also, it plays music accompanied by lights. Adorable, sturdy, and easy to assemble, really, what more could you want from a simple slide?
This slide comes in four designs: a blue giraffe, a pink giraffe, a dinosaur, and an elephant, and all of them are delightful. With a basketball hoop (or ring toss for the elephant design) and a slide that extends to a whopping 63 inches, this slide is perfect for somewhere with lots of space!
Little Tikes – “Little Baby Bum” Climber
Some of us have our YouTube constantly recommending Little Baby Bum because of the all the hours dedicated to the lullaby videos. What if I told you that you can get the LBB bus? Equipped with a steering wheel and music and a slide, attached to the back for a quick escape.
This slide also comes in a variety of designs: a green dinosaur, a green dolphin, a pink dolphin, a moon, and a giraffe. (I’m really loving the giraffe design on this one.) With sturdy stairs and an anti-skid wide base, these slides are as safe as they are fun!
This castle-inspired design inspires imagination while also providing the fun! With wide, anti-slip stairs and a long slide, your toddler can protect his or her castle from a pack of wild stuffed animals, or the dreaded Papa Giant! Moat not included.
Another castle design taking it one step further with a telescope and a realistic stone design. This comes with a crawl-through space on the bottom, and it’s able to hold up to 110 pounds.
This modern and sleek design is sure to make any space look elegant. Made from pine and water-based non-toxic paint, it’s enough to spruce up any room without the look of a plastic toy. It also comes in three colors: white, pink, and blue.
Not everyone is blessed with enough space for a 6-foot slide in their house. Maybe you don’t have a place to store it or put it out of the way. When it comes to the millions of toys that kids have in their play areas, anything that’s lightweight and folds to save space is always a plus.
This bright-colored slide is great for on-the-go moments when your kid wants to play inside or outside. It’s smooth and quick to fold up, and it’s certified to hold at least 110 pounds while only weighing 9 pounds total, making it lightweight, hassle-free, and good for older kids to slide on too.
With anti-slip stairs and a padded base, this futuristic design would fit almost any decor. Colors includes gray, green, and blue. Really, this slide is ideal for small toddlers and features a basketball hoop on the side.
Little Tikes have been making indoor/outdoor play toys for decades. This slide folds up easily and is designed for younger kids up to 50 pounds. This is a great beginner slide made for homes with small play spaces, indoors or out!
If you love Little Tikes as much as we do, check out our curated list of Little Tikes swings and other outdoor toys.
This play set is truly unique in its own way. Made of birch and beech wood, it features three pieces, a curved ladder, a mat, and a board. The ladder can flip either way, making it a climbing toy or by using the mat, can turn into a comfortable rocker. The board is two sided, one for climbing and one for sliding. And with a weight capacity of 132 pounds, it’ll provide years of entertainment or relaxation.
Looking for something eco-friendly and low cost? This cardboard slide is perfect for those who want a slide but don’t want the hassle of discarding plastic toys once the kids outgrow them. Fun, durable, 100% recyclable, and cheap—the perfect a combo!
So you have the space? Go all out! These items will have not only a slide but lots of extras for entertainment, making your half coffee break into a full coffee break.
This set has it all! Equipped with an extra long slide, it also has a connected toddler swing with an extra-wide base for stability. The weight limit and extended height are appropriate even for older toddlers. The set also comes with a standalone basketball hoop that has a kicking net attached for playing soccer. Not only that, there’s a ring toss, and the basketball hoop can be adjusted for your growing child, making this play set something that lasts longer than other toys.
Calling all nautical lovers! This colorful set is sure to be lots of fun. The slide features a long buffer zone and the swing attached has a bit more safety space than similar sets. Another cool feature is the swing has a music player, so your little one can listen to tunes while they play. Also attached is the ever-popular basketball hoop and kicking net for soccer.
Brightly colored and filled to the brim with activities, this indoor playground is ideal for those with little to no access to outdoor playgrounds. With a rock climbing wall, monkey bars, a rope ladder, a slide, a swing, and a lots of climbable sections, this will keep your kids busy and, most importantly, active even indoors!
Little Tikes – Jump ‘N’ Slide Bouncer
How bout something more outdoorsy? This bounce house and slide combo is perfect for fun outdoor play. Obviously, this is for older toddlers and kids ages 3-8, but what kid that age wouldn’t want this in their backyard? Thankfully, this comes with everything you need to set it up, so there’s nothing extra to buy, except maybe a bigger yard.
Creative Playthings – Spring Hill Play Set
This fits the definition of extravagant quite well. I mean, look at it! It’s huge and loaded with fun features. If you’ve got the yard for it, this set is designated for ages 2 months to 15 years old, making it a great value over the long run. This also has the longest slide of any item on this list!
The post Best Toddler Slides From Simple to Extravagant appeared first on Geek Baby Clothes.