You would think stopping the literal end of the world would earn you some serious bonus points with Heaven. That’s not what happened in Good Omens first season, though. Angels wanted to fight Satan’s army just as much as demons wanted another war with God’s. Neither side cared billions of innocent people would die as a result. Only one angel and one demon did. So what happened to our favorite supernatural beings once they helped foil Armageddon? Here’s where Crowley and Aziraphale stand with the forces of Heaven and Hell ahead of Good Omens season two.
“Wars are to be won” and “not avoided” is an obviously evil stance for anyone to take. It’s the kind of attitude we’d expect to hear only a truly evil leader say. But those were the words of Heaven’s archangels on Good Omens. Ten million celestial beings wanted to take up arms against ten million equally excited soldiers of Satan. After thousands of years of anticipation both sides were eager to finally destroy the other.
Neither Heaven nor Hell worried all humans would die in the ensuing war. Angels and demons alike certainly didn’t care about destroying Earth itself, either. If not for one single angel and one single demon Heaven and Hell would have had the Apocalypse they so desperately wanted.
Azariphale and Crowley had called Earth home since Adam and Eve resided in the Garden of Eden. Over six thousand years the two had not only grown quite fond of each other, they’d grown fond of the lives they’d built for themselves among humans. Working with little supervision, they’d been mostly free to partake in Earthly delights. Whether reading, listening to Queen, or getting drunk, they both had it good on Earth. They also both had a soft spot for humans and a general dislike of their respective kind. Hell is dreadful and full of uninteresting cretins. Heaven is sterile and full of smug elitists. But Earth is full of interesting things and people.
So once the two learned Satan was sending his son the Antichrist to trigger the Apocalypse, Aziraphale and Crowley conspired to work together and stop it entirely. Their initial plan didn’t come together as they’d hoped, but in the end they helped prevent the End Times. Good news for mankind, yes. But you don’t stop a war every other angel and demon crave without creating armies of supernatural enemies.
Heaven kidnapped Aziraphale and Hell kidnapped Crowley shortly after the pair stopped Armageddon. Both faced the ultimate punishment.
Despite claiming to be on the side of good, Heaven’s highest ranking officer delighted in ordering Aziraphale’s death. The Archangel Gabriel had wanted war with Hell more than anyone. Not getting to lead Heaven’s forces caused him another big problem, too. Gabriel had to deal with a lot of frustrated, bloodthirsty angels.
Meanwhile, Gabriel’s counterpart in Hell, Lord Beelzebub, served as judge over Crowley’s trial. Once Hell’s demons convicted Crowley for treason, Beelzebub sentenced “the traitor” to a painful death, too. For him that would mean bathing in Holy Water, delivered to Hell by the Archangel Michael herself. Crowley had killed a Duke of Hell the same way earlier in the season.
In Heaven a demon delivered literal Hellfire to aide Gabriel in murdering Aziraphale. But once more the duo ruined their superiors’ plans.
Angels and demons might be supernatural beings, but they’re not especially smart or competent. They were no match for their two Earth-wise counterparts with millennia of experience working as unlikely partners. Especially not when the final nice and accurate prophecy of the witch Agnes Nutter warned Aziraphale and Crowley their respective factions would come looking to punish them for stopping Armageddon.
Thanks to her warning they had planned for their death sentences by swapping bodies. That’s how Crowley was able to survive his Holy Water bath. it was really Aziraphale splashing around in a liquid that is totally harmless to angels. And in Heaven it was actually Crowley bathing in Hellfire, which couldn’t possibly hurt him.
Not only did their clever switcheroo save their lives, it also granted Aziraphale and Crowley another measure of protection. Gabriel and the other archangels couldn’t understand how Aziraphale survived Hellfire. Nor could Beelzebub and the other Dukes of Hell make sense of how Crowley could be immune to Holy Water. As a result both factions grew fearful of the two friends.
They seemed more powerful than any other angel or demon. So as “Crowley” told Beelzebub, it was probably best if they simply left the two of them alone.
That’s where the two stand before Good Omens second season. Each has been branded a traitor by their former faction. Heaven and Hell both hate Aziraphale and Crowley, but they also fear them. So as Crowley had said the night they stopped Armageddon, the two no longer have a “side.” They don’t belong to Heave on Hell. They are on their own side.
But Heaven and Hell will come calling on the two again. “They’ll leave us alone,” said Crowley. “For a bit.” Good Omens season two trailer show it won’t a very long bit.
Probably not the best news for our favorite angel and demon. But it will be for fans.We need Aziraphale and Crowley just as much as Heaven and Hell ever did.
Good Omens returns for its second season on Prime Video on July 28th.
Mikey Walsh is a staff writer at Nerdist. You can follow him on Twitter at @burgermike. And also anywhere someone is ranking the Targaryen kings.
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