https://madamenoire.com/612444/road-to-the-altar-wedding-costs/

Source: Zoya Stafienko / Getty

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on MadameNoire February 4, 2016.

“Does one really need a DJ and alcohol at a wedding reception? I could just hook up my mp3…”

As crazy as that thought sounds, it ran through my mind this morning when I looked at my wedding budget and thought about the money I can actually come up with for the big day. In the ever so eloquent words of Dave Chappelle, at this point, “I’m broke ni–a, I’m broke!”

My fiancé and I were hit with some depressing news last night about our finances for the big day, and just like that, I felt like I was back to the stress I was trying to quell at the very beginning of my wedding planning journey. The question of, “Where is all this money going to come from?” always was there, but I was optimistic that through savings and the contributions of a few who said they would like to help, things would come together. We wouldn’t be drowning in debt the day after saying “I do.” So I went ahead with planning a wedding. Finding a venue. Securing catering. Scoping out a photographer, a makeup artist, and buying my dress.

Yep, it was all good just a week ago.

But financial struggle happens, and when it does, there’s nothing you can do but adjust. Or cry. Whatever works.

I’m currently in a place where I’m wondering why I didn’t just push for the simple wedding I told people I wanted years ago. Or why I didn’t fight for the small church wedding followed by a cozy dinner and dance-erie at the restaurant where my fiancé and I first met. It’s probably because people looked at me like “What the hell? We have guests traveling for THAT?” When I suggested it.

So I let myself be talked into some ish I’m now wondering how to cut costs for.

With all that being said, I’m wondering what should be the move when it comes to cutting back on expenses for a wedding? What is important to keep and what either needs to go or find the discount version of?

Maybe it’s my plan to dye my hair light brown before the wedding? On top of a retwist and updo, that might be an unnecessary expense. My loc-a-listas know how these stylists want a cool $200-$250 for all that.

Or all the candles I wanted placed around the reception hall and on the tables? Maybe just a few candles and some bistro lights will do the trick?

Gold curly willow centerpieces and gold chargers? Yeah, I don’t see that happening anymore.

Pipe and drape? Nice idea, but it might not be worth it.

Gold chiavari chairs? Er, how much for the basics? Like basic brown?

And about that honeymoon…

I would love to have all the extravagant details that I did research on with my wedding planner, but I’m at a point now where I’m wondering just how worth it such trappings really are to have. I want to have a nice wedding and a good time with family and friends, but I don’t 1) want to start asking a bunch of people for money for things so frivolous, and 2) pull more money than necessary out of our own pockets into something that only lasts one day. I want a nicely furnished apartment in Bed-Stuy, Crown Heights, or Clinton Hill more than I want a scene out of Four Weddings or something off of BellaNaija Weddings.

I think the shock of having our pot of money decrease drastically has helped to put things in perspective for me. But still, because deposits have been made for certain things, the show must go on. So, I’m wondering, when it’s time to scale back for a wedding, what is important to have and what can go? When and where can you cut corners and still be happy with the way things turn out? I’m all ears…