https://madamenoire.com/1211574/mafs-miles-and-karen-question-and-answer/

Source: Lifetime/Kinetic Content / Lifetime/Kinetic Content

If you watched the last season of “Married at First Sight,” fans were most enamored with Miles and Karen, mostly because we didn’t know what they were going to do on decision day. Until the very end, we were on the fence about whether these two would stay married or get a divorce. Literally, the cameras made it seem like every day was touch and go.

But reality tv isn’t always…reality. And in the months since the show aired, Karen and Miles have launched their own YouTube channel where they take questions from fans who followed their journey.

They’ve done this before. But in the most recent YouTube video, the couple shared some things that I definitely wanted to know, including Karen’s true thoughts on masculinity, who said I love you first and why it took Karen so long to warm up to Miles in the first place. See what they both had to say below.

Why it took Karen so long to warm up to Miles

Miles: Off camera there are a lot of other influences that are factoring into what you see. The camera stuff was tough. We weren’t as comfortable there. Then, at home, it’s a different reality because you’re being fed all these questions on the third day. ‘Are y’all in love yet? Is this the person you want to be with for the rest of your life? When are you having sex?’ And this pressure gets in your head. For me, a lot of pressure of being a husband,  being married—a lot of that weight was on my shoulders and I was like, ‘Let me not mess this up. I see the value in Karen, how do I not mess this up.’

Early on, I was very intense and not completely myself because I was trying to make sure that she felt comfortable and could see the good person that I was. And by doing that the energy felt forced and didn’t feel completely authentic. The way that you responded was receiving that energy and all the other energy that was going around.

Karen: I struggle sometimes to talk about this. Everyone sees Miles and they’re like, ‘He’s great. He’s Prince Charming. What’s wrong with you? You haven’t immediately fallen in love with him because he talks to his grandparents on the phone so he must be perfect.’ But it’s like, you can’t get around energy. You can’t get around what you feel when you’re with someone. And one thing I wanted to make sure, when I first entered this journey was that, me and my partner could both authentically be ourselves, no matter what, good or bad. And even though, yes it looks good and not taking away from the good guy Miles is, because he’s a great guy. But I still was like, something’s not fully there. He’s giving me Mr. President, Mr. Perfect. And the reality is, you can never be perfect. No human is perfect. And so, there were times where I felt like he didn’t share as much with me or he didn’t really give me that raw, real feeling. Or how he was feeling, what he was going through [for] the sake of just trying to make me comfortable. And instead of making me more comfortable, it had the opposite effect. I was like, ‘This doesn’t feel all the way real.’ And that was something we had to work through. We had many, many miscommunications simply because he was trying and I was trying and things just weren’t syncing. We’re good people and we know that but something is still off and we can’t figure it out.

It was never that I thought he wasn’t a good guy. And it was something that I wish would have been shown a little bit more to be honest, where I was like, ‘Yes, he has all these good qualities. He’s a great person but something’s missing.’ That was really it. I felt that energy and I needed more than that.

Source: Kinetic Content / Kinetic Content

Who said I love you first.

Miles: Answer that one.

Karen: I may have said it first.

Miles: Break it down.

Karen: Ok, I said it first. What had happened was…I did it kind of weird y’all. But again, I’m an energy person so if it feels right, I do it. So, I was up one night just like awake, just thinking, processing a lot, thinking about my life. I was thinking about all the people in my life I’m grateful for. And I was also reflecting on me and Miles’ relationship.  And I was like, ‘You know what, I really love him.’ And I want him to know it and it was on my mind. He was sleep. And Miles sleeps like a baby angel. Literally when he’s sleep, he has a smile on his face. He might be snoring and smiling, depends on how tired he is.

I ended up texting him while he was sleep because it was on my mind and my heart and I didn’t want to wake up him up because he was in his zone. But I know with me and Miles, we’re always going to communicate more. So next morning…

Miles: I was like what was that last night?! What got into you.

Karen: I think you were just like…

Miles: Where did that come from? And then we talked about it.

Karen: And I told him why I did it in that moment. And that I loved him and that was it.

Did some of the backlash from social media affect their relationship?

Karen: I say yeah. I don’t think it affected our relationship in terms of good or bad but honestly, we had to lean on each other through that. We had lean on each other. We had to communicate a lot. We had to be very honest and have some vulnerable moments so from that perspective, yes it affected our relationship. It didn’t make our relationship ten times harder it was just something we had to get through together.

Miles: I think it definitely made us stronger so I guess that’s good.

…

Were Karen’s feelings hurt by people’s reaction to her wanting to move slow?

Karen: Yeah. I felt let down by people not having more understanding but I also had to realize, at the end of the day, it’s a tv show. They don’t know me in real life and if they did, they would have a much different opinion. And I’ll leave it there.

Miles: It was hard for me because I knew Killa and I know Killa better than anybody—not anybody but better than most people in the world. And so, I felt like I constantly had to justify my decision to stay with you based off the backlash that people were sharing. ‘You deserve better than how Karen’s treating you.’ ‘You deserve better.’

Karen: The whole time, spoiled!

Miles: I’m sitting at the crib eating lobster…

Karen: Getting back rubs.

Miles: Beard scrub massages.

Karen: I’m like dang! …Gifts for no reason.

Miles: And I go on Twitter, ‘Karen ain’t sh*t. Cancel Karen.’ That was hard. Other people I felt in time would see. But the people who were closest to me, I wanted them to know I’m fine, I’m good. I’m taken care of, I’m supported, I’m appreciated. So that was the hard part for me. Because people are very protective of me, even strangers. Which has been very interesting. You’re very protective of me. But for strangers to be very protective of me and not as protective of you, bothered me. So as a supporter, as a protector, it bothered me to see how hard they went on you for things that one, weren’t true but two, they didn’t have the full picture. But it’s tv and it’s reality tv.

Karen: That’s why I felt let down because we as women know how hard it is. We know how hard it is on a daily basis being a woman. We know how hard it is dating, trying to be in relationships. We know the things we have had to go through as women. So to see so many women gang up on me and throw me under the bus, I was just like, ‘Dang!’ These people don’t know me. They don’t know what I’ve been through. Then just, like woman to woman, ‘Girl, you know how hard it is out here.’ You know what happens out here sometimes. So we’re just going to gang up and throw somebody away like that, when there’s clearly a reason why you liked me.

Miles: That part! Miles you’re this wise, intelligent, articulate person but then it was, ‘Why is he staying? He must be naïve.’ But then on the other end, [no one asked,] ‘What’s missing? Something’s missing.’ I promise you I’m not that hopeless of a romantic that I was going to be abused or disrespected by anybody, much less Karen who’s probably one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. So I think that really bothered me. So I’m glad we were able to work through that. But that was frustrating.

Source: Kinetic Content / Kinetic Content

Her use and misuse of the word masculinity

Karen: I will say I did not explain myself thoroughly in those moments of what I view masculinity as and I did misspeak in certain moments where I used that word. That wasn’t the right word to use. A better word, in those moments would have been ‘more direct’ or ‘taking more initiative.’ And I think when I said more masculine, that’s is what I was trying to speak to you, being able to take the lead. One thing I will say is that, I don’t have a toxic masculinity. I don’t think if a man shows his feelings, he’s weak or less of a man. One thing, that I asked the experts for was somebody who could communicate about their feelings. And I think a lot of assumptions were made because of how things played out. Again, taking full accountability for how I used the word, out of context, or it would have been better for me to use a better adjective.

But I really haven’t changed my true definition of masculinity because it was never as toxic as, ‘a man needs to be stoic and never show any emotion.’

Miles: Or I need to put my hands on you. That sh*t blew me.

Karen: Yeah! That drove me. When I use the term, ‘put me in my place’ or ‘take charge’ that’s another area where I’m like, Ok, come on y’all. I don’t literally mean someone to beat me or put their hands on me. And for so many people to assume that’s what I meant, it was disgusting for so many women who have had to endure that. And it was disrespectful from a standpoint of why would you assume that that’s what somebody wants. It’s very insensitive.

Ultimately, did I use that word appropriately, no. But did I mean that masculinity is all of these toxic things? No. The projections that I saw. And I struggled with how to share I don’t like this or I wish you would do xyz. That’s hard to talk about in front of cameras and I’m just getting to know you…You may not always word things appropriately but I had to communicate my feelings because I cared about Miles. And it wasn’t fair for me to say, ‘This is hard to talk about or I don’t have the right words, so I’m not going to tell you how I’m really feeling.’ That wouldn’t be fair to you or our relationship.

Miles: We can be frank, when she first said that to me, I was pissed. Like are you trying me, right now? Are you challenging me as a man? And that blew me. But I also knew her heart and the type of person that she is and she was not communicating  the way that she wanted to. So once we got through that, you want me to be more direct, take more initiative, ‘I can do that, bet. That’s what I know how to do.’ I was trying to be so democratic. And once I realized you wanted me to lead us, we’ve taken off since then.

You can watch their full question and answer session in the video below. The good part starts around the 21 minute mark.