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https://madamenoire.com/1056840/subtle-selfish-things-men-do-that-add-up/
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You want to know how so many women wind up in relationships with selfish partners? It’s because those men were only subtly selfish. Selfishness doesn’t always show its ugly face, clear as day, right away. In fact, sometimes selfishness masquerades as affection or playfulness. If a man, for example, calls you during your girls’ night and says, “Pleeeeeeeaase come over. Don’t you miss me? Don’t you love me? Do you really need to keep drinking with friends?” it can feel like aw he likes me so much and wants to be with me. But, actually, he’s disrespecting your girl time. He’s making you feel guilty for spending time with friends instead of him. He’s only asking himself what he wants in that moment and not what makes you happy or is best for you. See how subtle but true all of that was? And that’s how you find so many women in relationships with selfish babies. It was a slow burn. Here are subtly selfish things men do that add up.
He doesn’t take your calls
When you call him to just pass the time on your drive to work, or to tell him something funny that just happened, he barely picks up. His excuse isn’t great—he was just watching TV or something like that but “Figured if it was important, you’d text.”
Source: Rowan Jordan / Getty
You want to know how so many women wind up in relationships with selfish partners? It’s because those men were only subtly selfish. Selfishness doesn’t always show its ugly face, clear as day, right away. In fact, sometimes selfishness masquerades as affection or playfulness. If a man, for example, calls you during your girls’ night and says, “Pleeeeeeeaase come over. Don’t you miss me? Don’t you love me? Do you really need to keep drinking with friends?” it can feel like aw he likes me so much and wants to be with me. But, actually, he’s disrespecting your girl time. He’s making you feel guilty for spending time with friends instead of him. He’s only asking himself what he wants in that moment and not what makes you happy or is best for you. See how subtle but true all of that was? And that’s how you find so many women in relationships with selfish babies. It was a slow burn. Here are subtly selfish things men do that add up.
He doesn’t take your calls
When you call him to just pass the time on your drive to work, or to tell him something funny that just happened, he barely picks up. His excuse isn’t great—he was just watching TV or something like that but “Figured if it was important, you’d text.”
In what world would you look at a woman who has a movie coming out, owns her own production company, and has been nominated for an Oscar when she’s going to have a baby? Margot Robbie is one of the most sought-after actors in the world and … this is your question for her?
Then again, most women go through this. Even if you’re single, the question about when you’ll marry and have a baby looms over you like the storm cloud of your ticking biological clock. It’s bonkers, pre-historic, and it also happens to extremely successful women like Margot Robbie who are in the prime of their careers.
In an interview with Radio Times, Robbie opened up about the situation that many women face as soon as they say “I do” or frankly as soon as they reach childbearing age.
“I got married, and the first question in almost every interview is, ‘Babies? When are you having one?’ I’m so angry that there’s this social contract. You’re married, now have a baby. Don’t presume. I’ll do what I’m going to do.”
Robbie brings up a good point: Men are not asked about this. When was the last time a big Hollywood male star had a movie coming out and his interviewer’s question was “So, babies?” or “When’s baby #2?”
Sure, sometimes we ask single actors about whether or not they ever want to get married and have kids but 99% of the time, it is women who are asked about babies. Still.
The thing is, this isn’t a new thing. It’s been happening since the dawn of time. You get married, you give your husband a son to carry on the family name, if you do not maybe you are executed by royal decree so that the king could remarry. Now, in the 21st century, we’re still worrying about when women are going to give birth? How could that possibly matter when you’re sitting down to discuss a film?
Maybe that’s how we have to enact change—stand up and say “no don’t do this” even in our own lives. Be the change. Because having something like this trending on the internet, making us talk about it, forces those who would ask this question to stop and ask themselves “would I be annoyed if someone asked me this?”.
But then again, this is … common sense. Asking someone when they’re planning on having a baby is extremely invasive and unless that person is offering this information up for themselves, it isn’t your information to have. There are a plurality of factors that make this even less anyone else’s business, that intersects with sexuality, fertility, and many more off-limits topics unless the interviewee brings it up first. Also, why does it matter? It’s their life, not yours. Their imaginary baby, not yours. Their private information, not yours.
Do. Not. Ask. Women. About. Having. Children. https://t.co/PjjywOsfUB
— zoe kazan (@zoeinthecities) January 15, 2019
It took 60 years but women are finally getting asked about their projects on red carpets instead of only about their outfits so I guess the next step now is to stop asking women about babies, period. Because honestly, why is that anyone’s business anyway? Unless you’re their partner, not your concern.
Stop asking women when they’re planning on having a baby 2k19.
(image: Christopher Polk/Getty Images)
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At some point over the past couple of years you’ve probably contemplated going vegan or at the very least toying with the idea of trying out some vegan recipes. Well, look no further because we have rounded up a list of vegan dishes that will please even the most dedicated meat eater — and those who are as picky about their food as they are about their shoes. Check out our vegan recipe round-up and share your favorites in the comments!
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Quinoa Lentil Burgers
If burgers are one of the things you can’t imagine giving up if you go vegan, no need to worry because this recipe has you covered. Made with quinoa and lentils, these burgers will easily trick your taste buds. Check out the recipe here.