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https://www.themarysue.com/uncle-joe-biden-inappropriate-behavior/
Late last week, a former Nevada assemblywoman named Lucy Flores published an essay in The Cut detailing what she describes as an “awkward” encounter with then-Vice President Joe Biden in 2014.
Flores, then 35, was the Democratic nominee for lieutenant governor in Nevada, where Biden had come to give the party a boost in their statewide elections. Flores says she was backstage at a rally, waiting to go on to speak to voters, when she “felt two hands on [her] shoulders.” She says she “froze,” thinking to herself “’Why is the vice-president of the United States touching me?’”
“I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair,” she continues. “I was mortified. I thought to myself, ‘I didn’t wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?’ He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head. My brain couldn’t process what was happening. I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused. There is a Spanish saying, ‘tragame tierra,’ it means, ‘earth, swallow me whole.’ I couldn’t move and I couldn’t say anything. I wanted nothing more than to get Biden away from me. My name was called and I was never happier to get on stage in front of an audience.”
She goes on to describe how being a young Latina in politics had made her “used to feeling like an outsider in rooms dominated by white men,” though she says she’d never experienced anything like that Biden moment. Biden, on the other hand, appears to have had lots of similar moments. As Flores notes, over the years, there have been lots of pictures and videos appearing to show Biden nuzzling women and girls’ necks, whispering in their ears, or touching them in other apparently intimate ways.
Not all of those moments were necessarily uncomfortable for the individual woman involved. One of these “creepy” photos that went viral shows Biden whispering in the ear of Stephanie Carter during her husband’s swearing-in as defense secretary. After Flores’ article came out, that picture once again started making the rounds, prompting Carter to write an essay titled “The #MeToo Story That Wasn’t Me,” saying that the picture was “misleadingly extracted from what was a longer moment between close friends.”
It’s definitely not cool to project an experience with sexual misconduct onto someone else, and we can’t presume to tell other people’s stories for them. But we also have to note that the way Biden touched his “close friend” Carter is the same way he touches women and even young girls whom he does not know at all.
The body language is often the same: Biden, standing behind a woman or girl, with his hands on their shoulders (or sometimes grabbing their arms, torso, or even their face) and his face nuzzled into their hair. At best, it is an overly familiar and infantilizing paternal way of treating women and girls. Even if there is no sexual motivation, it’s completely inappropriate. Flores writes of her experience, “Is it enough of a transgression if a man touches and kisses you without consent, but doesn’t rise to the level of what most people consider sexual assault? I did what most women do, and moved on with my life and my work.”
For Flores, seeing pictures of Biden stirred up anger and resentment, knowing that she couldn’t say anything, not just because Biden was a powerful man—but because he fit an archetype that we’ve accepted as a society: the “uncle.” She writes,
Had I never seen those pictures, I may have been able to give Biden the benefit of the doubt. Had there not been multiple articles written over the years about the exact same thing — calling his creepy behavior an “open secret” — perhaps it would feel less offensive. And yet despite the steady stream of pictures and the occasional article, Biden retained his title of America’s Favorite Uncle. On occasion that title was downgraded to America’s Creepy Uncle but that in and of itself implied a certain level of acceptance. After all, how many families just tolerate or keep their young children away from the creepy uncle without ever acknowledging that there should be zero tolerance for a man who persistently invades others’ personal space and makes people feel uneasy and gross? In this case, it shows a lack of empathy for the women and young girls whose space he is invading, and ignores the power imbalance that exists between Biden and the women he chooses to get cozy with.
As an American Uncle, Biden is lovable and seen as harmless. He gets to have any questionable behavior dismissed as obliviously quirky, yet he’s still viewed as a capable enough authority figure to be a 2020 presidential frontrunner, despite not even having announced an official candidacy. It is a role that is afforded only to older white men, for whom there is no apparent end to the benefit of our doubts.
In Biden’s response to Flores’ essay, he says that never in his long career in politics, “did I believe I acted inappropriately. If it is suggested I did so,” he says, “I will listen respectfully. But it was never my intention.”
“I may not recall these moments the same way,” he continued in his statement,” and I may be surprised at what I hear. But we have arrived at an important time when women feel they can and should relate their experiences, and men should pay attention. And I will.” He goes on to say he will “remain the strongest advocate I can be for the rights of women.”
Statement from @JoeBiden this morning. pic.twitter.com/EbCchX2npU
— Bill Russo (@BillR) March 31, 2019
It’s not surprising that Biden doesn’t believe he ever acted inappropriately. Flores guessed as much in her article, writing that looking at pictures of him and so many other women, “I saw obvious discomfort in the women’s faces, and Biden, I’m sure, never thought twice about how it made them feel.”
Has Biden ever reflected on the fact that he interacts with women incredibly differently from how he interacts with men? Even if his manner of touching is nonsexual, it’s still inappropriately paternal and that, in itself, is necessary of reflection and correction.
To now say that he is listening, without any indication that he’s willing to actually reflect on what he hears is a blatantly transparent non-apology. (If you think that’s just nitpicking semantics, I think you’re underestimating how hard a team has to work to craft the perfect semantics for this kind of statement from someone like Joe Biden.) Appearing on CNN, Flores said of Biden’s statement that he appears to have a “disconnect” if he doesn’t think his behavior was ever inappropriate.
“Frankly, my point was never about his intentions, and it shouldn’t be about his intentions. It should be about the women on the receiving end of that behavior, and … it wasn’t the only incident where he was acting inappropriately with women,” she said.
There has been an ugly backlash to Flores’ articles. A lot of people have been sharing pictures of her with other politicians or analyzing her body language in the picture with Biden, to construct an argument as to why she shouldn’t be allowed to complain about her interaction with Biden. This is a gross attempt to dehumanize her, to say that she’s not allowed to feel differently about different types of touching with different people. It’s the sort of argument too often used against women speaking out about their experiences with sexual misconduct or otherwise uncomfortable situations involving powerful men.
Others are arguing, as they did around Al Franken, that liberals can and even should ignore behavior like Biden’s because Donald Trump is in the White House. This, too, dehumanizes the very real women involved, counting them as props in men’s political stories. We don’t have to wait for Republicans to oust their sexual predators before we decide it’s worth looking at the inappropriate behavior happening on our side of the aisle.
This is a complicated issue and people are going to see all different shades of gray in it. But at its core, can we at least acknowledge that if the role of “America’s Uncle” were really so harmless, we wouldn’t have to tear a woman down for expressing discomfort with it? We wouldn’t have to work that hard to protect the archetype.
(image: Win McNamee/Getty Images)
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—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Late last week, a former Nevada assemblywoman named Lucy Flores published an essay in The Cut detailing what she describes as an “awkward” encounter with then-Vice President Joe Biden in 2014.
Flores, then 35, was the Democratic nominee for lieutenant governor in Nevada, where Biden had come to give the party a boost in their statewide elections. Flores says she was backstage at a rally, waiting to go on to speak to voters, when she “felt two hands on [her] shoulders.” She says she “froze,” thinking to herself “’Why is the vice-president of the United States touching me?’”
“I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair,” she continues. “I was mortified. I thought to myself, ‘I didn’t wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?’ He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head. My brain couldn’t process what was happening. I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused. There is a Spanish saying, ‘tragame tierra,’ it means, ‘earth, swallow me whole.’ I couldn’t move and I couldn’t say anything. I wanted nothing more than to get Biden away from me. My name was called and I was never happier to get on stage in front of an audience.”
She goes on to describe how being a young Latina in politics had made her “used to feeling like an outsider in rooms dominated by white men,” though she says she’d never experienced anything like that Biden moment. Biden, on the other hand, appears to have had lots of similar moments. As Flores notes, over the years, there have been lots of pictures and videos appearing to show Biden nuzzling women and girls’ necks, whispering in their ears, or touching them in other apparently intimate ways.
Not all of those moments were necessarily uncomfortable for the individual woman involved. One of these “creepy” photos that went viral shows Biden whispering in the ear of Stephanie Carter during her husband’s swearing-in as defense secretary. After Flores’ article came out, that picture once again started making the rounds, prompting Carter to write an essay titled “The #MeToo Story That Wasn’t Me,” saying that the picture was “misleadingly extracted from what was a longer moment between close friends.”
It’s definitely not cool to project an experience with sexual misconduct onto someone else, and we can’t presume to tell other people’s stories for them. But we also have to note that the way Biden touched his “close friend” Carter is the same way he touches women and even young girls whom he does not know at all.
The body language is often the same: Biden, standing behind a woman or girl, with his hands on their shoulders (or sometimes grabbing their arms, torso, or even their face) and his face nuzzled into their hair. At best, it is an overly familiar and infantilizing paternal way of treating women and girls. Even if there is no sexual motivation, it’s completely inappropriate. Flores writes of her experience, “Is it enough of a transgression if a man touches and kisses you without consent, but doesn’t rise to the level of what most people consider sexual assault? I did what most women do, and moved on with my life and my work.”
For Flores, seeing pictures of Biden stirred up anger and resentment, knowing that she couldn’t say anything, not just because Biden was a powerful man—but because he fit an archetype that we’ve accepted as a society: the “uncle.” She writes,
Had I never seen those pictures, I may have been able to give Biden the benefit of the doubt. Had there not been multiple articles written over the years about the exact same thing — calling his creepy behavior an “open secret” — perhaps it would feel less offensive. And yet despite the steady stream of pictures and the occasional article, Biden retained his title of America’s Favorite Uncle. On occasion that title was downgraded to America’s Creepy Uncle but that in and of itself implied a certain level of acceptance. After all, how many families just tolerate or keep their young children away from the creepy uncle without ever acknowledging that there should be zero tolerance for a man who persistently invades others’ personal space and makes people feel uneasy and gross? In this case, it shows a lack of empathy for the women and young girls whose space he is invading, and ignores the power imbalance that exists between Biden and the women he chooses to get cozy with.
As an American Uncle, Biden is lovable and seen as harmless. He gets to have any questionable behavior dismissed as obliviously quirky, yet he’s still viewed as a capable enough authority figure to be a 2020 presidential frontrunner, despite not even having announced an official candidacy. It is a role that is afforded only to older white men, for whom there is no apparent end to the benefit of our doubts.
In Biden’s response to Flores’ essay, he says that never in his long career in politics, “did I believe I acted inappropriately. If it is suggested I did so,” he says, “I will listen respectfully. But it was never my intention.”
“I may not recall these moments the same way,” he continued in his statement,” and I may be surprised at what I hear. But we have arrived at an important time when women feel they can and should relate their experiences, and men should pay attention. And I will.” He goes on to say he will “remain the strongest advocate I can be for the rights of women.”
Statement from @JoeBiden this morning. pic.twitter.com/EbCchX2npU
— Bill Russo (@BillR) March 31, 2019
It’s not surprising that Biden doesn’t believe he ever acted inappropriately. Flores guessed as much in her article, writing that looking at pictures of him and so many other women, “I saw obvious discomfort in the women’s faces, and Biden, I’m sure, never thought twice about how it made them feel.”
Has Biden ever reflected on the fact that he interacts with women incredibly differently from how he interacts with men? Even if his manner of touching is nonsexual, it’s still inappropriately paternal and that, in itself, is necessary of reflection and correction.
To now say that he is listening, without any indication that he’s willing to actually reflect on what he hears is a blatantly transparent non-apology. (If you think that’s just nitpicking semantics, I think you’re underestimating how hard a team has to work to craft the perfect semantics for this kind of statement from someone like Joe Biden.) Appearing on CNN, Flores said of Biden’s statement that he appears to have a “disconnect” if he doesn’t think his behavior was ever inappropriate.
“Frankly, my point was never about his intentions, and it shouldn’t be about his intentions. It should be about the women on the receiving end of that behavior, and … it wasn’t the only incident where he was acting inappropriately with women,” she said.
There has been an ugly backlash to Flores’ articles. A lot of people have been sharing pictures of her with other politicians or analyzing her body language in the picture with Biden, to construct an argument as to why she shouldn’t be allowed to complain about her interaction with Biden. This is a gross attempt to dehumanize her, to say that she’s not allowed to feel differently about different types of touching with different people. It’s the sort of argument too often used against women speaking out about their experiences with sexual misconduct or otherwise uncomfortable situations involving powerful men.
Others are arguing, as they did around Al Franken, that liberals can and even should ignore behavior like Biden’s because Donald Trump is in the White House. This, too, dehumanizes the very real women involved, counting them as props in men’s political stories. We don’t have to wait for Republicans to oust their sexual predators before we decide it’s worth looking at the inappropriate behavior happening on our side of the aisle.
This is a complicated issue and people are going to see all different shades of gray in it. But at its core, can we at least acknowledge that if the role of “America’s Uncle” were really so harmless, we wouldn’t have to tear a woman down for expressing discomfort with it? We wouldn’t have to work that hard to protect the archetype.
(image: Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Don’t worry, true believers: the new Avengers: Endgame official toy line from Hasbro probably isn’t spoiling anything you don’t already know from trailers and posters. You knew Captain Marvel was in the movie, right? And that Thanos didn’t totally get rid of the armor he put on that scarecrow on his farm?
The action figures, however, strive for accuracy and affordability with the main line being $9.99 for a single figure, and $19.99 for two packs. Hulk and Thanos, are big dudes, so they’re $12.99, but offer more bulk for the extra three bucks.
That is the most Banner-ish Hulk we’ve ever seen onscreen, so draw your own conclusions there.
Captain America and Captain Marvel double up in the line, with a two pack of them showing off powers, and single packs in more classic ensembles. The line overall allows you to collect the whole team, from newcomers like Captain Marvel to old-timers like a Chitauri from the first Avengers (not pictured yet, but mentioned in the official press release).
If you crave more action from your toys, the 12-inch Power FX Titan Hero line, consisting of 12-inch figures priced between $9.99 and $24.99, gives your heroes and foes missile launchers, lights and sounds.
Note the “inspired by” on Black Panther’s box, which in this case basically means “from his previous movie and does not mean he’s going to be in the film, necessarily.”
Meanwhile, what Marvel fan’s life would be complete without your very own Stormbreaker? It should go without saying, but when playing with your friends, please don’t go for the head.
Check out more pictures below for a fuller picture of the lineup, and remember, this is just wave one. Once the film has revealed more of its secrets, we’re certain other playthings and plastic powered people will be unveiled. Just wait till you see Zombie Obadiah…whoops, we’ve said too much.
(Totally kidding about Obadiah Stane. But it would be cool.)
Images: Hasbro
The post AVENGERS: ENDGAME Official Toy Pics Showcase New Looks for Marvel Heroes appeared first on Nerdist.
Being pregnant means buying a whole new wardrobe filled with maternity clothes, t-shirts, and stretchy pants. You might be wondering if you can get cute nerdy pop culture shirts and tank tops to wear while you wait for your little ray of sunshine to officially join your family. Absolutely, there are lots of different designs to choose from like Star Wars, Game Of Thrones, and Doctor Who. We’ve scoured the internet and featured our favorites below.
For those gamer moms that are looking forward to having a new person in the house to play video games with. Sure, you’ll have to wait a few years, but trust me when I say it’s well worth the wait.
Talk about a unique maternity shirt, this tee speaks to those of you who love playing Dungeon and Dragons, board games, and other RPGs. Looks like someone rolled a natural 20 and are leveling up.
That’s no moon… Your little one is being built day and night, much like this technological terror from Star Wars. Luckily, everyone will shower your baby with love and not proton torpedoes.
Are you having twins? Are you a huge Doctor Who fan? If the answer is yes, then this cute maternity shirt featuring a couple heart-shaped Gallifreyans is a must buy for those of you about to have a sweet pair of babies.
Having a baby is like going on a long adventure, but you don’t actually leave the house for more than a couple hours at a time. The next few years will be challenging, but you’ll be rewarded. Meanwhile, this shirt will try to keep strangers from rubbing your tummy like you’re a magical Buddha.
Here’s a gem for you if you’re a Rick and Morty fan. This Just Do It maternity shirt is screaming for you to wear it. You can look forward to hours of watching your favorite shows in the middle of the night while feeding your baby. That’s some quality cuddling time.
Are you a Potterhead? If the answer is yes, then feast your eyes on this maternity tee. Don’t let anyone accuse you of giving birth to any ordinary muggle. Your newborn is coming out with a wand, glasses and a scarf from Hogwarts.
Gotta catch em’ all! Or maybe you’re family is more about just catching one and raising it to the best of your ability. Either way, you’ve got at least one baby in you right now and it needs a mother to help it grow and evolve. For now you can just keep it protected in nature’s pokeball.
Please standby as we install and deploy a new operating system. It’s amazing all the changes that are happening inside of you right now. Your little one is growing, developing, and starting to use their new senses. Too bad these things install slower than Windows 95.
I don’t know the odds of your offspring being a reptile, but I’m going to guess it’s as close to zero as realistically possible. However, you can tell people anything you want, especially if it keeps strangers from touching your belly.
Here at Geek Baby we’re big fans of monsters. We’ve grown up being influenced by horror movies from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and 2000s. Not too mention Pixar’s Monsters, Inc. You won’t have the baby belly forever so you might as well have fun with it.
Like most things on the Internet, if you dig a little you’ll find something for anyone. Check out this Chemistry-inspired maternity shirt. Perfect for you science enthusiasts!
Peeking Out Captain America Shirt
Is there an Avenger hiding in your tummy? I’ll hold off on the giving birth to mutant jokes. Well if Captain America is in there, does he have a little mini shield? Don’t worry we feature plenty of superhero onesies you’ll be able to dress your baby in.
If you’re a Star Wars fan, then we’ve found the cutest maternity shirt made just for you. Just look at that little lightsaber. I’ll refrain from making any Tauntaun jokes. May the force be with you.
As a fan of the old school Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, I have my own set of biasness when it comes to this tank top. Sure, Krang is an evil Emperor bent on inter-dimensional domination, but look how adorable he is with his little pacifier.
No, you’re not giving birth to a green mushroom, but there is a life inside you that’s waiting to come out. Nintendo fans can rejoice as they can celebrate this extra life through this maternity shirt.
X-Ray Reading Baby Maternity Shirt
What do fetuses do while they are hanging out in your tummy? Perhaps they read books, play games, and look at their phones. Probably not, but you can read to them while you’re pregnant. How cool is that?
Make sure you read this shirt slowly. It’s not referring to Adams, but rather atoms. It’s true, atoms are responsible for all the good and bad things in your life. You can’t really blame them, but you definitely shouldn’t trust them either.
Get that character sheet ready as you prepare to create a new level 1 human. I would argue with these stats, but overall this maternity shirt is perfect for you Dungeon and Dragons fans.
Charles Darwin Evolution Shirt
If you’re part of the scientific community, then this maternity shirt is a must buy. Darwin was a fascinating scientist whose research was leaps and bounds ahead of his time.
We featured a Death Star under construction maternity shirt above, but this shirt glows in the dark. Yup, you read that correctly, it glows in the dark. How amazing is that?
Game of Thrones took the world by storm. Very much in the same way that you’re little one is going to come into your life. You’ll never know what’s going to happen next as your baby grows up into a full-fledged adult. Grab some popcorn.
Uh oh, chest burstin’ time. Don’t worry, you’re not going to have to pull a Ripley at the end of Alien 3. Istead, you’re more like the Alien Queen fiercely defending her babies from any poor soul that threatens them.
Imagine the looks you’ll get from the inlaws when they see you sportin’ this child of the dark one maternity shirt. Fully embrace that Rosemary’s Baby vibe as you garner harsh looks from the elderly. Your baby is destined for greatness like becoming a future president.
I don’t think parents know they’re bringing a superhero into the world, until much later in life. I can’t predict whether your baby will be gifted with superpowers, but they will be your little hero from day one.
Poor Luke Skywalker never knew his mother. Fortunately, for your little one they will get to hear you tell them you’re their mother many times during their life. I can’t even begin to fathom how many times my own mother would sternly look at me and say, “You’re going to do what I say, because I’m your mother.”
Batman fans rejoice, we’ve found a maternity shirt that you can proudly wear when you leave your Bat Cave. Let’s just hope your little Bat baby doesn’t suffer the same fate as Bruce Wayne’s parents.
Personally, I don’t think you can own too many Star Wars shirts or baby clothes. This one happens to look like your going to give birth to a little At-At. Make sure you keep it safe from those sneaky rebels.
I know sometimes you might feel like you’re going to give birth to some baby dragons, but rest assured that being pregnant doesn’t last forever. While you’re waiting you might as well pretend you’re Khaleesi and everyone around you should be worshipping your feet.
We all know that R2D2 is the real hero in Star Wars. He saves Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, Luke, and countless others. This pregnancy shirt does a great job honoring the most important droid in the universe.
You may not be pregnant during October, but don’t let that stop you from wearing some super cute Halloween maternity apparel. Just like the Ministry song says, “Everyday is Halloween.”
You probably feel like you’re carrying around a pumpkin in your belly, but don’t worry your little baby is growing in there. For those of you who love Halloween anytime of the year.
Cute, cuddly, and chomping at the bit to come out your little one is patiently waiting to go forth in the world. However, for now you can show off this adorable green monster as a placeholder for what’s to come.
If green monsters aren’t your thing, then maybe you’ll be tempted by this red big-eyed cutie. Look at its little fang. I don’t know how you could pass this up, but I’m guessing if you do, then you’ve already spent your money on the Star Wars and Game of Thrones ones featured above.
Little Jedi Maternity Tank Top
Is the force strong within you? Do you feel the overwhelming urge to visit Dagobah and be trained by Yoda? Are you scared that Master Qui-Gon Jinn is going to show up and kidnap your baby and take him to the Jedi Temple?
You’re not the only one who is done with this pregnancy. Your baby has had enough of your shenanigans. It’s kicking, punching and throwing a fit to come out already. Have a little patience and enjoy the your final months of peace and quiet.
So that’s where Batman hides during the day. This cute Batman maternity shirt lets people see what you’re really hiding under your shirt. Holy jumping kangaroos, Batman.
If you’re hoping for a little rock n’ roll baby, I would suggest you better be careful for what you wish for. This little metal head is banging around like there’s a death metal concert going on in your belly. Headbanging, feet stomping, and screaming get me the hell out of here.
The post Cute Maternity Clothes & T-Shirts appeared first on Geek Baby Clothes.