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Creating safe spaces for others is second nature for therapists and mental health professionals as they establish trust and build relationships with their clients. But finding a community for themselves to unwind is often an afterthought. That is why Deran Young, LCSW, founded Black Therapists Rock. In 2016, Young created a Facebook group as an opportunity to organize black therapists, community leaders, personal development experts, and clinical professionals toward action in decreasing the stigma and other barriers to mental health and emotional well-being.

As a therapist who grew up with adverse childhood experiences, Young is culturally informed and invested in serving people in underresourced communities.

“I grew up in the hood and my mother was mentally ill but I did not know that.” says Young. “What I knew was that she was on drugs. I was the oldest so that meant that I was always in charge. And I grew up taking care of everyone except myself—and that is very common amongst black women. We are taking care of, thinking, doing, problem solving, and saving everyone but ourselves,”

A lot of her work now and as a former therapist in the military has taught her the importance of not doing the work alone.

“I created the Facebook group and thought I’d be happy if I got 200 people. Three months in, we had 2,000 people. And by the end of 2016, we had 10,000 people. And by the end of the third year we had 20,000 people,” say Young.

Within the community, members can share their experiences, build relationships, and occasionally vent. With a community so unique and impactful, Young has been sought out by Facebook. In 2018, she was accepted for their Community Leadership Fellowship. As a fellow, her organization receives financial support and resources to promote their mission. Most recently, Young spoke about her work at Facebook’s Global Safety & Well-Being Summit where we met her and learned more about the work that she is doing.

“Through Facebook, we have a program called ‘Heal the Healer’ where we have 40 therapists at a training that is focused on social and emotional support,”

Black Therapists Rock has grown exponentially over the years, and Young says because it quickly became a healing space.

“We are making sure that we sustain ourselves because if we burn out (like I was) what good is that? A lot of us have our own issues we’re still dealing with and might not necessarily have the resources we need ourselves. The stigma is stronger for therapists because we’re ‘supposed to have it together’ and know how to deal with our own stuff, but, we’re human,” adds Young.

Keeping wellness at the forefront of mind for her community members and fellow black therapists, who are looking for a tribe of healers to join, Young offers the following advice for black therapists and mental health advocates during Mental Health Awareness Month:

• The first thing is to know that depression can happen to you. Most of us don’t think that we can be depressed. We say we don’t have time for that. So, make time to take care of yourself.
• Don’t follow the philosophy that it’s you against the world. You’re human and deserve care just like everyone else.
• Seek the care that you’re giving.
• Avoid Isolation. Don’t go at it alone. The same ways that trauma comes in through other people—we need to get it out with other people.
• Know what you stand for and why you do what you do. If you, like me, care about people that no one else cares about [working with].
• Find your people, connect, and get plugged in online and off. You cannot heal other people without someone supporting you.

Looking for more mental health resources? Click here.

Source: Zoya Stafienko / Getty

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on MadameNoire February 4, 2016.

“Does one really need a DJ and alcohol at a wedding reception? I could just hook up my mp3…”

As crazy as that thought sounds, it ran through my mind this morning when I looked at my wedding budget and thought about the money I can actually come up with for the big day. In the ever so eloquent words of Dave Chappelle, at this point, “I’m broke ni–a, I’m broke!”

My fiancé and I were hit with some depressing news last night about our finances for the big day, and just like that, I felt like I was back to the stress I was trying to quell at the very beginning of my wedding planning journey. The question of, “Where is all this money going to come from?” always was there, but I was optimistic that through savings and the contributions of a few who said they would like to help, things would come together. We wouldn’t be drowning in debt the day after saying “I do.” So I went ahead with planning a wedding. Finding a venue. Securing catering. Scoping out a photographer, a makeup artist, and buying my dress.

Yep, it was all good just a week ago.

But financial struggle happens, and when it does, there’s nothing you can do but adjust. Or cry. Whatever works.

I’m currently in a place where I’m wondering why I didn’t just push for the simple wedding I told people I wanted years ago. Or why I didn’t fight for the small church wedding followed by a cozy dinner and dance-erie at the restaurant where my fiancé and I first met. It’s probably because people looked at me like “What the hell? We have guests traveling for THAT?” When I suggested it.

So I let myself be talked into some ish I’m now wondering how to cut costs for.

With all that being said, I’m wondering what should be the move when it comes to cutting back on expenses for a wedding? What is important to keep and what either needs to go or find the discount version of?

Maybe it’s my plan to dye my hair light brown before the wedding? On top of a retwist and updo, that might be an unnecessary expense. My loc-a-listas know how these stylists want a cool $200-$250 for all that.

Or all the candles I wanted placed around the reception hall and on the tables? Maybe just a few candles and some bistro lights will do the trick?

Gold curly willow centerpieces and gold chargers? Yeah, I don’t see that happening anymore.

Pipe and drape? Nice idea, but it might not be worth it.

Gold chiavari chairs? Er, how much for the basics? Like basic brown?

And about that honeymoon…

I would love to have all the extravagant details that I did research on with my wedding planner, but I’m at a point now where I’m wondering just how worth it such trappings really are to have. I want to have a nice wedding and a good time with family and friends, but I don’t 1) want to start asking a bunch of people for money for things so frivolous, and 2) pull more money than necessary out of our own pockets into something that only lasts one day. I want a nicely furnished apartment in Bed-Stuy, Crown Heights, or Clinton Hill more than I want a scene out of Four Weddings or something off of BellaNaija Weddings.

I think the shock of having our pot of money decrease drastically has helped to put things in perspective for me. But still, because deposits have been made for certain things, the show must go on. So, I’m wondering, when it’s time to scale back for a wedding, what is important to have and what can go? When and where can you cut corners and still be happy with the way things turn out? I’m all ears…

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