deerstalker

https://madamenoire.com/1162597/what-it-truly-means-to-live-below-your-means-and-the-perks-of-doing-so/

What it is and what it’s not

When living beneath one’s means if mentioned in conversation, many assume that it means depriving yourself of the things you enjoy. In actuality, living beneath your means is simply a matter of not spending more money than you earn. It’s a matter of building in a substantial enough financial cushion that when unexpected expenses pop up, you have a surplus of emergency funds to absorb costs. To do this successfully, many financial coaches recommend living on at least 15 percent less than the amount you earn. For example, if your monthly income is $5,000, then your monthly expenses should not exceed $750.

Continue reading to find out how you can begin to live below your means and why you should commit to doing so.

https://madamenoire.com/1163938/michael-jordan-daughter/

If you’ve missed sports as much as millions of other people feeling the effects of quarantine have, then chances are, ever since ESPN’s 10-part epic The Last Dance premiered, you’ve been consuming it ferociously. You’ve been reliving simpler times and one of the greatest dynasties in sports. It’s the ’90s all over again, and you low-key want to be like Mike, Michael Jordan that is, and either love or hate the Chicago Bulls as you did during their golden era. Great times.

For Jasmine Jordan, she lived through that sports dynasty with a front-row seat to the man in the middle of it. She is Michael’s daughter, the firstborn girl (she now has little sisters in twins Ysabel and Victoria), and though she and her older brothers Jeffrey and Marcus were protected from the spotlight most of the time, she saw the way people fawned over her dad as she shared him with the world. It couldn’t have been easy, but according to the now 27-year-old mom, soon-to-be wife and field representative behind her father’s lucrative Jordan brand, it was all worth it. It also helps that they’re getting to spend more time together now than ever before.

We talked to her about what it was like growing up with MJ as her father, how she’s felt about his portrayal in the hit Last Dance documentary series, finding love in a man who didn’t care who her dad was, and the way she’s keeping the Jordan legacy going.

MadameNoire: What was it like growing up with a father who was so important to people all over the world? You know you love your father, but what was it like sharing him with so many people who loved him, admired him and wanted to be like him when you were young?

Jasmine Jordan: The best way I can describe it is normal. It sounds crazy when you think of it like that, because he is an icon and a legend. Everything he’s accomplished thus far has really put him in this elite category and grouping, but no matter what, between him and my mom, they made sure myself and my brothers felt normal. It wasn’t a celebrity upbringing where we were doing events, and media, and the lights were always shining in our faces or anything like that. It was a regular day. He would take us to school, pick us up from activities and help us with homework. Little things like that where it felt normal. The normalcy only went away when we would go the games or we would see the media attention and the following he had. But my parents made sure to the best of their abilities that if we weren’t at that game and our father, if he wasn’t on that stage, that everything else felt as normal as it could be.

Would you say your dad was a present figure in your house and childhood during the height of his basketball career? Or did you find he got to be around more after basketball ended?

It was definitely hard when he was playing to try to do activities or bond when he was on the road and things like that in season. It was harder to work on and cultivate our bond, our daddy-daughter time. He constantly made sure to explain it to me. It was never, I’m not around because I don’t want to be around. It was, I’m not around because I can’t right now. When he was around, we cherished those moments. We made the best of it. He included me in his pre-game routine where before a home game, we would sit down and eat dinner together. I’m just watching him eat his steak and sweet potatoes. That was his routine. He ate that before every home game. We made our moments that way. Fast forward to now, it’s way better. Obviously he has way more free time between his businesses and making sure he has his tee time on the golf course. We definitely have a closer and strong bond, but I don’t discredit anything that we missed when we were younger or how things were when he was playing because I know he did the best he could given the job he had and the career he had. He definitely played a significant role in my childhood nonetheless, but he’s playing an even bigger role now since being retired.

How did other people treat you? Did people flock to get close to you when you were in school or even when you were dating because they knew you were Michael Jordan’s daughter?

It’s definitely always been the elephant in the room. Either everyone knows and they don’t want to talk about it or no one knows and I have to just put it out there. There’s no avoiding it to say the least. But it definitely makes it hard when it comes to making friends or dating and bringing people into my life and into my circle. For that reason I keep my circle very small. I don’t allow a lot of people in because that’s always going to be the risk; whether or not someone’s getting to know me because they want to know Jasmine or they want to know who I am because I’m my father’s child. There’s definitely no avoiding it and it definitely makes myself and my brothers question everyone’s intentions, whether you’re coming into my life for a genuine reason or not. But I wouldn’t change it. It definitely adds that extra layer of caution. Just having that, I guess you can say, sense of paranoia and fear of being taken advantage of, makes the true friendships and relationships we’ve been able to experience worth it even more.

How was your fiancé [Rakeem Christmas] then able to differentiate himself from those types of people? Opportunists that is, especially as someone who played basketball and obviously knows and watched Michael Jordan. How did you know, okay, this is someone really serious about me?

It’s funny because my fiancé, I actually went after him. I put my guards all the way down [laughs] once I started to really pursue him. Even at that time when we first met, it was really just to be friends. I knew of him and obviously he knew of me, and I say I stalked him, but when I was trying to approach him at a party or message him on Facebook, I really put myself on the line. It was because we would see one another in passing and have small conversations and it was something I felt in my gut. I just knew, you’re different. I don’t know what it is about you and I want to know, but I can feel that I’m not worried about your intentions or how you’re going to be. As we got to know one another and have those conversations and hang out, it was clearly evident that my gut was right. He never asked me for sneakers. He has been a Jordan sneakerhead before me. He had them well before we became friends. It was just one of those things I never had to question with him. It felt like in the beginning, it was all about timing, and here we are, engaged to be married. I did something right.

You have a son and I know he just turned 1 and you were planning a wedding. I saw you guys had a small party for him, but how have those celebrations been altered with everything that’s going on? Would you be open to a virtual type of wedding that people are having now?

Definitely with my son’s birthday, it was hard to make that adjustment from having a family gathering and knowing my mom, my dad and my fiancé’s family weren’t able to come and celebrate. It’s a monumental birthday. You’re turning one. It’s incredible. We made it through the first year. It was definitely hard to accept that at first, but given the climate, I wouldn’t do it any other way. It was super intimate and it was so much fun for just us to shower our son with a little more love and a little more attention than we usually do. It definitely took him by surprise. He was like, what are all these balloons and why am I wearing a dinosaur onesie? What’s happening? [laughs] I definitely think it threw him off, but I think he enjoyed it. I think when we look back in a couple of months, weeks and years when we’re telling our son, hey, we did a quarantine birthday and this is what happened, he’s going to appreciate it. We still had the family element because we were present. We ended up doing a big Zoom and FaceTime call with my mom’s side of the family and Rakeem’s side of the family, my dad, so they were still a part of it, just in a weird and funky way. Nonetheless, it definitely was a birthday to remember.

Fast forward to our wedding, fingers crossed. I’m praying that with COVID-19, we’re still able to continue with our fall wedding in September and that we’re able to do it. But we’re also keeping in mind that everyone’s health is priority. We don’t want all of our family traveling down for our wedding and putting themselves at risk either. We’re just monitoring it closely and we’re praying that we can still have the beautiful union that we’re trying to have. If that means we have to do it in a small setting or do it virtually and get creative, then so be it. I think at the end of the day, it’s just about making sure our love is present, God is present, and our families are able to play the role they’re able to play, no matter what. But we’re definitely playing it by ear and praying that we can continue as planned. If we have to make changes then that’s what we’ll do.

Can you share what your role is at the Jordan brand? And how do you protect and continue your dad’s legacy through your work?

I work in sports marketing. I’m a field representative for Jordan Brand, so I am like the liaison essentially between the athletes and our brand. I represent our athletes that are signed to Jordan with the Hornets, and then I have athletes in Washington with the Wizards and then our women’s division that’s constantly growing and evolving. So I pretty much make sure that we’re marketing them and supplying them with the product they need to be successful on the court. And then on the backend, making sure we’re telling their stories in an organic way as well. And then our women’s division is starting to really evolve. Our Jordan women’s footwear and apparel is really taking off since we launched it a little over a year and a half ago. I’m able to contribute with that and share stories and aid in some of the color designs and things like that. It’s been super exciting thus far and I’m loving it. From a legacy standpoint, it’s all about making sure it’s authentic. When my father played the game, at the end of the day he left everything on the floor. There was not one game that he didn’t give his all and commit, and that’s what Jordan brand really is. It’s telling that story and everything that was behind the sneakers he was wearing but also everything that was behind the man he was and is today. So for me, if I’m able to contribute to telling those stories and sharing those moments in an authentic and genuine manner, then my work here is done. It’s all about just making sure the consumer hears about who he is and learns about who he is, especially as the generation coming never got to see him play. So it’s definitely something I’m grateful and appreciative that I get to be a part of and help evolve. But as long as it’s genuine and authentic, I’m doing my job.

Knowing your father in the way that you do, what is it like watching The Last Dance and the way he’s portrayed in it?

It’s honestly been eye-opening and super exciting to see. I didn’t see any previews or anything like that beforehand. I’m taking it in as a fan like everybody else and I mean, it’s dope. It’s dope to see how he really did what he did and getting to see behind the scenes and trying to understand why he is the GOAT that he is today. There’s definitely moments that you’re worried about and even he was probably worried about not being perceived properly, like the gambling and those stories of putting him on a pedestal. Or him being an a–shole to his teammates. All of those things could have a negative connotation if it’s not understood properly. That’s definitely something he feared and was concerned about and I was as well. I know my father, and I don’t want anyone to perceive him to be an a–hole or someone who didn’t care about society or being a role model or anything like that. At the end of the day, he said it best. When it comes down to doing what you need to do, there’s sacrifices that come with it, and those were some of the things he had to sacrifice to really cultivate his craft and become who he had to become to do the things he did. It’s definitely been incredible to take it all in, and I’m taking it in like a fan. It’s just something you hope everybody tries to understand and hear his perspective and appreciate the fact that he made a lot of sacrifices to do what he did. Either you get it and you love it or you don’t and that’s just facts. But I hope people do take his work ethic and his mentality for what it was, which was truly out of this world.

Do you think there will ever be another figure, particularly a sports figure and basketball star, like your father?

No. I don’t think so. I think it’s a different era and a different game today in how it’s being played. So you really have to get with the times, follow and feel out how the market is and play the game how it’s being played. During my father’s time, no one could touch him. He was and is to this day, one of the greatest if not the greatest to ever play the game. And when you look at the 2000s and as the game began to evolve once he retired, that was Kobe [Bryant]. That’s when Kobe stepped up and became the greatest of that era. And the game today, we have LeBron [James]. So I don’t think there’s a smooth or simple answer to say that he’s going to be the best ever because of how the game keeps evolving. So I definitely think as the game continues to evolve, you know LeBron may not stay on top either. Somebody else may come in and do the same thing. It may be his son the way his son has been balling out. Who knows? But I think it’s definitely going to be something that’s a topic of conversation as the game keeps playing. There’s never going to be a true final answer in a fan’s mind, but me being his daughter, I’m still going to say no one can touch him and he’s the greatest no matter what the eras are.

https://blackgirlnerds.com/insecure-season-4-episode-5-lowkey-movin-on-recap/

Written By: Mekeisha Madden Toby

Welcome back to week five of Season 4 of HBO’s Insecure.

Insecure Season 4, Episode 5, titled “Lowkey Movin On,” begins with Issa (Issa Rae) looking stressed. After that demoralizing conversation with Molly (Yvonne Orji), in which the woman she thought was her best friend told Issa she wouldn’t help her make her dreams come true, it’s easy to understand why she’s crestfallen. Not one to wallow, Issa gets up, goes to the kitchen and makes a microwave quesadilla. While waiting for her instant snack, Issa jumps on Instagram and checks her Block Party page. Issa notices Nathan (Kendrick Sampson) has posted a message saying he can’t wait for the event. So she messages him and asks what he’s doing up.

Nathan responds that he “can’t sleep.” And Issa says she can’t either. After a little back and forth, Issa calls Nathan. He asks if he will get VIP treatment at the Block Party, and Issa says of course. Nathan then says that he gave her the idea, and Issa tells him to calm down. Why Issa thinks it’s a good time to bite into her microwave quesadilla is beyond us but she does and promptly burns her tongue. Oh Issa. She thanks Nathan for his help with the Block Party, but we won’t know what she means by this until much later in the episode. He asks how she is feeling about the big day, and Issa says she’s scared something will go wrong. Nathan comforts her and mentions that he has the house to himself (Is this a booty call?) because Andrew (Alexander Hodge) is at her girl Molly’s place. “I don’t know if I’d call her my girl,” Issa says matter-of-factly, shutting down any and all booty call intentions. Nathan pivots and asks if she and Molly are okay. And then that infamous line from episode one makes perfect sense: “Honestly, I don’t f*ck with Molly anymore.”

With that, the stage is set for what is arguably the most explosive episode of Insecure ever—and that’s saying a lot considering the way Issa and Lawrence (Jay Ellis) broke up. The next scene takes place at Molly’s apartment. It’s the day of the Block Party, and Molly is complaining to Andrew about what she should wear and if she should even go. Apparently, Molly’s mad at Issa for not attending her celebration dinner after she won her big case. Really, Molly? You didn’t help Issa when she needed you but you thought she’d come kick it with you and share a seafood tower? Clearly tired of hearing her complain, Andrew calls Molly’s bluff and says they shouldn’t go. Molly concedes and says of course they’re going and adds, “I love her, but I don’t really like her right now.”

Cut to the Block Party. Issa is moving and grooving like a lowkey boss. And now she has a real assistant/intern named Sequoia (Courtney Taylor) assisting her—no more imaginary support staff for our girl. Sequoia even helps Issa nix the not-so-great spoken word poet (played hilariously by Syreeta Singleton, who wrote the episode), who is performing a piece on oppression. And then Issa spots Condola (Christina Elmore)! Back on the job it didn’t seem she wanted anymore, Condola cheerily tells Issa that a sponsor is running late but will be there soon to hand out freebies. Issa thanks Condola for the heads up and the interns but can’t help but wonder why Condola has been ghosting her. “Did I do something wrong?” Issa asks Condola, even though we all know the answer. This is when Condola tells Issa that she and Lawrence broke up. A slightly stunned Issa apologizes to Condola, who in turn says she is there to check on the vendors. Condola also says everything looks great. This is the relationship messiness Molly warned against. But then again, who else was going to help Issa? And even with that little bit of messiness, Condola came through in the end.   

Kelli (Natasha Rothwell), Tiffany (Amanda Seales) and Derek (Wade Allain-Marcus) arrive and mug for photos at the step and repeat. A group of nearby teenagers heckle them, and Derek curses them out and then apologizes. Issa confesses that she is bummed more Black people aren’t at the Block Party yet, which sparks a chain of honesty. Tiffany confesses that she wants to leave her baby at the grocery store—she is joking, right?—and Kelli confesses she didn’t understand Issa’s Block Party dream but she does now. Kelli even says she’s proud of Issa but the moment is corrupted when Kelli switches to a not-too-bad British accent. Turns out her new boo (played by rapper Amine) thinks she’s British so Kelli is British now and the laughs ensue. Oh Kelli. While Sis does her best Mary Poppins, Issa asks Tiffany and Derek if they knew Lawrence and Condola had broken up, but they didn’t. Tiffany is on maternity leave and out of the loop, and Derek says he is offended that Lawrence, who usually overshares, didn’t tell him.

Issa gets pulled away for an on-screen interview. A Los Angeleno through and through, Issa does the interview near a Nipsey Hussle mural. Too bad the interview, in which she mentions Black excellence amid a sea of white people, turns out to be for a reporter named Shannon’s (Dayna Dooley) nonexistent YouTube channel. The camera cuts to all the Block Party merchandise (we want a T-shirt or at least a water bottle). Molly then arrives, and she and Issa share a tepid hug. Remember hugs before the days of social distancing? Sigh. We’d even settle for a fake hug right about now.

Anyway, back to Issa and Molly. Issa says she’s surprised to see Molly, and Molly says of course she’s there. She is Issa’s best friend. Issa responds with an incredulous “of course” but before things can get any more awkward, Ahmal (Jean Elie) shows up and breaks the tension. He asks Issa if she’s worried it might rain, and she tells him to shut up and dips. Ahmal then proceeds to ignore Kelli, and they bicker as per usual and Ahmal outwits her. Rapper Derrius Logan takes the stage, but Kelli and Ahmal aren’t done. He attempts to expose Kelli’s fake accent, but her new boo ain’t bright and misses the cues. New boo also tells Kelli comically terrible misinformation about the United States’s governmental branches, and Kelli is gobsmacked. But at least she finds a way to outwit Ahmal.

Cut to Derek talking to Baby Simone’s babysitter. She can’t be consoled, and Peppa Pig is to blame. Derek says they have to go home, but Tiffany doesn’t want to leave. So Derek leaves, and Tiffany stays and dances with Ahmal to the hype tunes of Inglewood’s finest rapping twins, Cam & China. Lowkey, Tiffany might have postpartum depression, y’all. Andrew and Molly are seated nearby also enjoying the show. Andrew says that Issa’s hard work to make the Block Party dope is probably the reason the two have grown apart. Molly agrees before Andrew jokingly says, “Remember when you kept dodging me for work?”

Next we see Issa back on the job. As she waves at sponsors, Trina (Elle Lorraine) and her son Benjamin (Anthony Carr Jr.) come to harass her. Trina makes a quip about “tap dancing for white people” and when Issa tries to defend herself, Trina points to the stage and there is an actual tap dancer. Comedy gold. Trina says the white people think the Block Party is a farmer’s market and saunters off with Benjamin. Then Nathan arrives, and he and Issa hug awkwardly. She thanks him for coming, and Nathan says it’s good to see her in person. Oh really? But Issa is preoccupied. She wonders where all the Black people are, including her headliner Vince Staples. Nathan tells Issa to chill. The Block Party is here, and it’s happening. He reminds her of when they were at Coachella where Issa conceived the event. It’s so nice to have people remind you where you were, so you can realize how far you’ve come.

SiR and Zacari hit the stage next and their song “Mood” perfectly sums up how Issa appears to feel as she leans against the wall and smiles proudly at the success of her Block Party so far. Black people finally start to arrive en masse, and Molly comes over and offers an olive branch in the form of extra chicken wings. She figures Issa hasn’t eaten yet—and she’s right—and Issa is appreciative. But before the two can really talk about their friendship or even eat, Issa’s assistant tells her Vince Staples is there and Issa has to go yet again. Please eat, Issa! Meanwhile, Molly looks like she finally understands Issa’s professional journey. Issa and Quoia go to meet Vince and his manager, Leonard (Jermaine Williams), and Quoia is so excited and nervous, her nose bleeds. This concerns Vince and Leonard but they move on and so does Issa when she sees her old neighborhood buddy Thug Yoda (Tristen J. Winger). Why does Thug Yoda think Issa is a lesbian and does he know everyone in VIP? We may never know.

Back on the stage, a local dance off between an elderly man and a child gives way to the DJ spinning V.I.C.’s “The Wobble.” It’s an infectious dance song that has Molly playfully asking Andrew if he needs her help and Andrew playfully asking Molly if she needs his. They dance and Quoia convinces Issa to relax for a minute and Wobble, too. She relents and in true screen-magic fashion, Issa and Molly find themselves Wobbling together and laughing and high fiving like they haven’t since Episode 1. The music stops, and it’s time to introduce Vince. Issa goes on stage and thanks the crowd for supporting her dream, but they don’t care. They want to see Vince and start changing his name. He arrives and delights the crowd by performing his hit song “FUN!”

Sadly, the fun Vince raps about doesn’t last long. When Vince’s manager Leonard comes over to thank Andrew for the hookup, Molly asks what hookup. This is when Andrew tells Molly he helped Issa secure Vince as the headliner. Nathan asked him for Issa and Andrew simply sent an email. Although Andrew says he doesn’t think It was a big deal to help Molly’s best friend, Molly does and she flips. “What’s the issue?” Andrew asks, echoing the sentiment of a lot of us. But Molly sees red, red like the blood that’s still coming out of poor Quoia’s nose. Nathan and Issa walk Quoia to her car and urge her to go to the hospital. She says she doesn’t have insurance and drives away.

Not skipping a beat, Molly approaches Issa and asks to talk. She asks Issa if Andrew helped her get Vince, and Issa says yes. Molly says Issa defied her boundaries, and Issa says Molly was willing to let her best friend fail for a random relationship rule she invented. Molly pulls out the big guns and accuses Issa of incessantly using people. “N*gga, you stay needing one little a** favor.” But for real, Molly, why are you doing this here and now? But Issa takes it a step further and says if things don’t work out between Molly and Andrew, it won’t be her fault. The hood inside Molly gets the better of her, and she pokes her finger in Issa’s face. A bystander sees the argument and thinks Molly has a gun. Revelers freak out and start running and screaming and just like that, Issa’s beautiful Block Party ends in a blur of panic and rain. Can Issa and Molly bounce back from this? And if they do, will Issa’s career? We’ll have to watch and see.

Insecure airs Sundays on HBO at 10 p.m. ET/PT. See you again next week! 

The post ‘Insecure’ Season 4, Episode 5: “Lowkey Movin’ On” — RECAP appeared first on Black Girl Nerds.

https://madamenoire.com/1163796/an-ode-to-the-grandmothers-that-raise-their-grandchildren/

Being my raised by my grandparents was different. They were older than all my friend’s parents, much stricter and the epitome of old school. They had a different parenting style that I didn’t understand until now. Especially mine.

My grandparents adopted me, so I have called my grandmother my mom from day one. She gave up her golden years of retirement to raise me to protect me from foster care, being adopted by complete strangers and being left to wonder who my biological family is. After raising three children already who were well into their adult years, she returned to having sleepless nights, changing diapers and chasing around a toddler. Instead of sleeping in late everyday and doing whatever her heart desired after retiring, she woke up in the wee hours of the morning to get me ready for school every single day. Whether she was sick, tired or just plain sick and tired of me, she put it aside and always put me first. If she had a few extra dollars and wanted to treat herself, she didn’t. She met my needs. During her annual trips to South Carolina with my father (who is my grandfather), even if she wanted to leave me behind she never did. She let me tag along on every vacation. This time in her life was supposed to be all about her, but instead she made it about me and I will be forever grateful.

My mother did what many grandmothers have done and are still doing: sacrificing their later years in life to raise yet another generation. They are not obligated to do so. Their grandchildren are supposed to be visitors. Grandmothers are supposed to offer guidance to their adult children as they embark on their own parenting journey. But many grandmothers have found themselves going another round in motherhood for various reasons. After raising their own children, the goal is to live child-free and care-free days as they take back control of their life and get to redefine the latter years. Grandmothers across the world have forfeited that dream becoming reality to take care of their grands. On this Mother’s Day, the babies who were taken in and raised by their grandmothers want to tell you that we will always honor you. To my mother Doris and the other selfless grandmothers, we celebrate you today and everyday. Thank you.

And to the mothers who saw that they weren’t ready to be a mother and called on their mothers to take the lead, we thank you too. We wouldn’t be who we are if you didn’t.