deerstalker

https://www.essence.com/love/relationships/meet-your-match-online-speed-dating-stacii-jae/

If you’re single, it might feel like this isn’t a great time to date given the current climate. But fret not! Being stuck in the house doesn’t mean you can’t find “the one.”

Dating and relationships expert Stacii Jae Johnson and Georgia Representative Erica Thomas have teamed up for an online speed dating event called “Meet Your Match” that you don’t want to miss.

Singles who sign on for the event will go on a series of 3-5 minute dates which will be streaming on Facebook, Twitter, & Periscope. At the end of the night, virtual daters will get to pick their favorite participant to go on a longer virtual date with. To sweeten the deal, some of the “Meet Your Match” participants will receive a complimentary dinner delivered to their doorsteps to help create an ambiance similar to a real first date.

Johnson says the event’s goal is to abide by the nationwide stay-at-home order while helping singles continue their journey to find love.

“With the global impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, it’s more crucial than ever to be intentional with my mission,” Johnson said in a statement. “Single people are quarantined at home alone without any way to go out on dates and socialize with potential relationship candidates. As a professional in the love business, it was important for me to figure out a way to do my part in connecting great singles to potentially find love while embracing the #AloneTogether concept.”

“Meet Your Match” takes place on April 22nd from 7pm-10pm EST. You don’t want to miss out! Register for the event here.

The post “Meet Your Match” Online Speed Dating Event Helps Singles Find Love During Coronavirus appeared first on Essence.

https://blackgirlnerds.com/nonames-book-club-uplifts-avid-readers-with-new-content-focused-on-people-of-color/

Written By: Keona Frasier

Chicago rapper Noname plans to bring diverse content to the literary community with the forthcoming launch of  Noname’s Book Club Patreon-exclusive newspaper, Out of Print.

The company announced that the paper will showcase artwork, essays, and book club notes from their featured contributors and incarcerated members. 

Noname’s Book Club was launched in late 2019, with the mission to highlight authors of color by featuring two monthly selections for readers who follow the platform. The book club promotes “reading material for the homies” online, but also has local chapters that convene in person for a traditional book club setting. 

The official website describes these in person meetings as a “safe and supportive environment” for its members to discuss the selected readings in depth. In addition to the book club’s growing following on social media, it has worked with community organizations to increase its local presence. Through the online platform, Noname’s team encourages readers to shop locally at bookstores owned by people of color.

On the Noname’s Book Club website is a list of bookstores across the country. While plenty of the members are based in America, the movement now spans international lines with members meeting all the way in London. 

The book club offers Patreon-based subscriptions with membership levels starting at $1 a month. With a $10 monthly Patreon contribution, members will get the newspaper for free. Noname’s Book Club aims to raise enough funds to send their monthly selections to prisons in different cities. Through this effort, some inmates will have the opportunity to engage with the book club through facilitation and readership. 

The SCI Coal Township Prison Chapter is the first prison-based chapter, which was started in February. The launch of this new chapter came in time for their facilitator, Dawud, to pick Love with Accountability as one of the March books of the month.  The inmates were able to hold their first meeting and have a serious dialogue about the readings with one another. 

This won’t be the first philanthropic endeavor Noname’s Book Club has done to bring awareness to civil issues within the correctional system. Noname’s Book Club maintains advocacy for inmate’s rights and shares the stories of civil rights activists. Most recently, the book club has shared a series of tweets labeled “Political Prisoner” that’s meant to educate followers on the history of various activists who have been incarcerated for years due to their political actions. 

Previous selections have included the work of authors who are revered for heavy political commentary, such as Sister Outsider by intersectional writer Audre Lorde. With Noname being known for her socially aware disposition and poetic sound, the literary work of classic authors, like Audre Lorde and Octavia E. Butler, is not by any means off-brand for the Chicago native.  

Noname’s connection to literature is actually homegrown considering her mother owned Afrocentric, a bookstore in Chicago, something Noname revealed on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah during the book club’s infancy. She has noted that she spent a lot of time in libraries growing up. 

The catalog of book selections did not forget to include the published work of modern writers. Kali Fajardo-Anstine and Danez Smith are just two modern writers to grace the list of monthly picks since Noname’s Book Club launched. The authors promoted through the book club’s platform showcase a great deal of variety across gender, cultural, age, and LGBTQ perspectives. The books picked display conceptual diversity. The book club’s members have had the option of reading essay and speech collections, comics, poetry compilations, memoirs, and short story collections. 

Many of the selected works are chosen by Noname, but some are chosen by other creatives. The book club “lets the homies pick” one of the two books of the month. Earl Sweatshirt and Kehlani are among some of the contributors who added their picks to the collection. Community leaders have also added to the catalog of books the club has read. 

Through Patreon, some membership levels allow subscribers to make submissions for possible consideration of future books of the month. Patreon members also have the opportunity to attend exclusive live streams, podcasts, and get early access to other perks. 

BOOKS OF THE MONTH

LET THE HOMIE PICK. For April you can read one or both books. Yahdon (founder of literaryswag book club) picked War against all Puerto Ricans. I chose Mean by Myriam Gurba. pic.twitter.com/nlCbzuDe8P

— Noname Book Club (@NonameBooks) March 29, 2020

Followers of Noname had the unique opportunity of watching her virtual Book Club concept come to fruition. Before developing the bookstore platform, Noname created a poll for followers and found that many were interested in the concept of an online book club. Since starting in late 2019, Noname’s Book Club has amassed almost 90,000 followers on Twitter at least 56,000 on Instagram. 

What started as a conversation between Noname and her followers has obtained tremendous growth and evolved into a burgeoning online community that both literature enthusiast and marginalized demographics can appreciate. 

Keona Frasier is a young Black writer with an affinity for all things counterculture and urban. As a woman who embraces the eccentricities and nuances of life, she is dedicated to highlighting these themes in her writing. Astrology, contemporary music, and apocalyptic themed video games are just a few topics Keona loves to spend hours gushing about.  

The post Noname’s Book Club Uplifts Avid Readers with New Content Focused on People of Color appeared first on Black Girl Nerds.

https://www.essence.com/love/how-love-changed-married-men/

When it comes to things like dating, getting married or starting a family, women don’t often hold back on sharing their thoughts, especially when we get together. But what do the fellas think? We’re passing the mic to a few happily married men for their insights on matters of the heart.

Nwigwe, his wife, Fat, and their baby daughter, Ivory, are expecting a new addition to their family.Tobe Nwigwe, 32 Hometown: Houston Profession: Rapper and Influencer Married: Two years

ON BEING A HUSBAND TO HIS WIFE, FAT

“If you can honor your covenant, it just humbles you. I treat nobody else in the world like I treat Fat. The husband-and-wife relationship, it just changes you. It makes you move and operate on a different level. Before I got married, I told Fat’s mama, ‘I’m going to take care of your daughter for the rest of her life.’ Marriage provides a whole different set of principles. I think that’s what I cherish the most.”

ON UNDERSTANDING LOVE

“I thought it was supposed to be the butterflies and the ‘you hang up,’ ‘no, you hang up’ type of feeling. In actuality, love is a command. I didn’t know what love was before we got married, but right after we got married, I started being overwhelmed with thoughts of, I’m really into my woman. I’m into nobody else other than my woman.”

ON CREATING A SOLID FOUNDATION

“Most people don’t see all of that groundwork that goes into building a life-until-death type of relationship. You just see the surface and you’re like, Yo, I want that. But you don’t understand. We went through five or six years of friendship, trying to be together, a year of separation, and then coming back and submitting our relationship to God. It was a lot, but that’s what it really takes to have a solid foundation in a real relationship.”

Oliver with his wife, Codie, and their three sons,Brooks (center) and twins Aristotle and LangstonTommy Oliver, 35Hometown: Philadelphia Profession: Filmmaker, Entrepreneur and Cocreator of OWN’s Black Love docuseries Married: Five years

ON FINDING LOVE WITH HIS WIFE, CODIE ELAINE

“It became clear very early on that there was no one better than Codie. And when I realized that, it was like, why even keep looking? Why not put all my energy into this amazing person and see if we can make this work? I don’t fall hard and fast, but as my wife says, I am incredibly decisive. I evaluate things quickly. With her, it was like, she’s incredible. She’s sweet. She’s a good person. We have similar interests and consistent values, and on top of that, she’s also beautiful.”

ON CREATING A FAMILY

“Marriage is a lot harder than people expect. It’s a lot of work but it’s worth it. The payoff is worth it. Being a nuclear family is something that’s really important to us. That’s why we had kids. I love the life that we’ve built and the life that we are building together—the shared memories and experiences, the things that we’re able to accomplish together. To see her flourish, to see her be an incredible mother, is a very cool place for me to be, alongside her.”

ON RELATIONSHIP GOALS

“Longevity and happiness are what it’s all about. It’s about figuring out how to be together happily. That’s the only measurement that, I think, makes sense. Those are relationship goals: to still like the person you’re with, to still want to be with the person you’re with because you choose to be with them—not because it’s the default, not because it’s the easy thing. That doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time, but overall, you are happy, and you are still one team, and every day you’re choosing that team. You’re choosing to be together.”

It became clear early on that there was no one better than Codie.

—TOMMY OLIVER, COCREATOR OF BLACK LOVEBurns with his wife of 20 years, JessicaKenny Burns, 47 Hometown: Washington, D.C. Profession: Life>Married: 20 years

ON KNOWING JESSICA WAS THE ONE

“I was in Chicago by Lake Michigan, and I was like, ‘I don’t know what I’m gonna do. The music business is not for me. These people aren’t like me. They’re so conniving and backstabbing.’ I was like, ‘I’m gonna put my hands on someone. There have to be some repercussions.’ Jessica was like, ‘You can’t do none of that.’ She starts speaking all types of life into me. And then she said, ‘By the way, you’re Kenny Motherf–king Burns!’ And I knew right then, on that big-ass rock we were sittin’ on in Lake Michigan, that I was going to marry her. I knew when I saw her, but that just confirmed it. It was a Build-a-Bear situation. She guided me toward my superpowers. She saw the superstar in me before I saw the superstar in me.”

ON MARRIAGE BEING COOL

“I think people like my wife and me definitely show that being married is cool, that being married is sexy. It’s fly. It’s fashionable. I think that is what our generation wants. We wanted it because we didn’t see great examples of it. We had The Cosby Show and that was the holy grail for us, visually. Now we have a culture that preaches misogyny and heavy drug use. It basically tells you to be unconscious and do whatever you want to do. That’s not real life. That’s not a legacy-written life. If you follow Kenny and Jessica Burns, you see praise and thankfulness. You see family. You see luxury. I think there are plenty of examples like us out there.”

ON CREATING A BLUEPRINT

“We put one foot in front of the other and we learned. I started out being gone all the time—trying to make this money—and then we implemented the four-day rule. You leave on the first day; you’re back on the fourth. These are all things you have to be attentive to on your journey. Because staying gone all the time does what? Creates separation. Being gone a little bit of time creates, ‘I miss you. I want to see you. I can’t wait to get home.’ In a partnership, you take your learning from the past, but you implement your experiences as you go.”

Bereola and his wife, Letisha, with son Miles announced last August that they are expecting baby number two, a girlEnitan Bereola II, 38 Hometown: San Jose and Oakland, CaliforniaProfession: Author of Gentlewoman and Bereolaesque and Creative Executive Officer of SaintMiles Married: Six years

ON WHAT ATTRACTED HIM TO HIS WIFE, LETISHA

“Her unwillingness to compromise in the presence of charm and wit. She was so grounded, confident and comfortable. I was a playboy since middle school, but I didn’t sway her. And I was so used to being able to manipulate people. She wasn’t playing hard to get—she was hard to get. She wasn’t going to fall for anybody, and I had to acquiesce to her vibe and get on her level. And I was almost forced into a friendship if I was going to have any type of relationship with her. She had a whole different type of glow.”

ON UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

“Our relationship grows because we work on ourselves every day. At a certain point, you realize that it’s you against yourself. It ain’t got nothing to do with the other person. I don’t love my wife because of anything—that makes the love conditional. I just love my wife. She can’t do anything about that. That’s a choice. It’s a decision. It has nothing to do with what she does or who she is. I love her.”

ON CREATING A SAFE SPACE

“I think the beauty of our relationship is that you have a space safe to just be you. You can take off your cool. I’d dance and sing and be hella silly, and she allowed me to be that. It felt like home and she still loved me. We talked about our secrets, our flaws, our mistakes and mishaps. There was a comfortable, safe space to do that, and she knew exactly who I was and loved me still. Before her, I thought women expected a man to come to the table with everything. She taught me that instead of trying to build apart, why don’t we build together?”

This article originally appeared in the March/April 2020 issue of ESSENCE magazine

The post 4 Happily Married Black Men Reveal How Love Made Them Better appeared first on Essence.

https://www.themarysue.com/how-to-buy-books-online/

We know what you’re going through. You’re stuck at home and you’re bored and you just want to enjoy some damn BOOKS. But how? Brick and mortar stores are shut down and Amazon is, to put it lightly, f*cking evil. So what are you going to do? Well, hope is here. You can support your local, independent bookstores (and stick it to Jeff Bezos) by buying your books from Bookshop.

Bookshop is a relatively new site that launched right before the coronavirus shutdown hit, and thank goodness it did, because it’s giving a lifeline to many local, small booksellers. The biggest advantage that Amazon has over small, local sook store is an online, easy-to-use platform and streamlined service.

According to Bookshop’s CEO and founder Andy Hunter, when speaking with Inside Hook: “There are almost 2,000 bookstores in the country, and only about 150 of them have good online shopping platforms. That leaves a lot of stores that haven’t adapted, and Amazon’s kind of eating their lunch.”

Which is where Bookshop comes in. It allows you to easily order books from indie stores. Bookstores sign up to sell through Bookshop and 30% of the profits got to them. That’s not as much as the 40% to 45% they get selling themselves but it’s better than nothing, especially if a shop doesn’t have a robust online presence.

While Amazon is using their energy smearing labor organizer in their warehouses, many indie bookstores are struggling to scrape buy after being forced to close. Powell’s Books in Portland, the countries largest and most famous indie bookstore, laid off nearly all of their staff when Oregon non-essential business was ordered to shut down. They then hired 100 back to fill a flood of online orders. This shows how important online sales will be for the store during this time.

So, if you’re looking to buy some books, check out Bookshop and support local, non-evil bookstores as much as you can!

(via: Inside Hook, image: Disney)

Here are some other interesting things we saw today:

• People in the UK are burning 5G tower and it’s as good a time as any to remind you the 5g DOESN’T CAUSE CORONAVIRUS! (via Vice)
• For your Joe Exotic casting consideration: Rob Lowe. (via Daily Mail)
• The creators, cast, and songwriter of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend remember Adam Schlesinger. (via Vulture)
• Happy 25th Birthday to Paul Rudd again.
  

  Paul Rudd at 28 vs Paul Rudd at 51. Does this man age? TBD. HBD! 🎉 pic.twitter.com/w2llCgVdUj

  — InStyle (@InStyle) April 6, 2020

• Speaking of Rudd. The next Ant-Man movie has found its writer with Rick and Morty’s Jeff Loveness. (via Nerdist)
• Cats all over are testing positive for Coronavirus, but it’s not jumping from them to humans. (via Vanity Fair)
• Soon.
  

  Hopelessly horny. The new season of #ShadowsFX premieres Wednesday, 4/15 on FX. Next day #FXonHulu. pic.twitter.com/L2wL26rs0H

  — What We Do In The Shadows (@theshadowsfx) April 5, 2020

• Worst. President. Ever. (via Washington Post)

Anything we missed out there today, Mary Suevians?

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