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https://www.essence.com/love/lauren-and-cameron-book/
Loading the player… By Victoria Uwumarogie ·June 12, 2021June 11, 2021
From the moment people were introduced to Lauren Speed and Cameron Hamilton‘s love story on the dating reality series and Netflix hit Love Is Blind, they were all in. They were one of the few pairs on the show that many genuinely rooted for, and people have continued doing so since the show ended its first season last spring.
Their romance was broadcast right before the pandemic brought life as we know it to a screeching halt. More than a year later, we talked about life after the cameras went away and the newlywed phase ended, and the couple shared that as the world changed, they too had to change and also overcame some stumbling blocks.
“It has definitely been an adjustment,” Lauren tells ESSENCE of love after reality TV. They’ve welcomed a dog, become business partners trying to balance a working relationship with a romantic one and are approaching almost three years of marriage (they were married a year and a half at the time the show debuted).
“Honestly, it’s been amazing. It’s been as close to bliss as bliss can get, but I say that to say that it’s not without struggle,” she says. “We’re still human. All relationships go through ups and downs and trials and tribulations, but we’re continuing to grow.”
They’re also continuing to do have some major experiences as a couple. They’ve written a book called Leap of Faith: Finding Love The Modern Way, coming out on Tuesday, June 15. It’s about how they made the life-changing decision to join Love Is Blind, what it was like getting through filming while falling in love, and how it’s been navigating married life. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. The couple wasn’t afraid to be honest about the obstacles they faced, similar to what many dealt with in the last year and change. But they also dealt with things that were very unique to their relationship and experiences. The racial reckoning that came after the murder of George Floyd, for instance, forced them to have some very real conversations as an interracial couple.
“We had some difficult times more so for me just processing everything and me being in a state of fighting shutting down, not just to him but to the whole world in general,” she says of trying to heal during a rocky summer 2020. “It was a point, which I talk about in the book, where Cameron and I had a really tough conversation one day. I wouldn’t say I was holding it in just because he was my white husband. I was holding it in because it was something I would usually process by myself anyway. He caught me balled up in the corner one day crying my eyeballs out. That forced us to have a conversation about how I was really feeling about everything.”
“My first thought was what is the best thing for me to do to support my wife? And I think I resolved that first of all it would be to listen to her and what she would want to talk about it or say about it, if she wanted to talk about it,” Cameron says. “To ask what I could do for her personally but also recognizing that like she said, she had to heal from it so she didn’t really have the energy to at times share everything. So I reflected back on what would be best for me to do. In addition to trying to helping her, I felt that trying to be more educated as a white person, having a platform to speak about what’s going on in this country, not just back then in June but what’s been going on and persists, and talking to other white people about what we can possibly do to be allies.”
They also dealt with and still deal with pressure. That has come in the form of fans who idealize their relationship and even each party as examples of the happiness they, themselves can possibly obtain. It can be a lot for the pair. And then there are those who want them to take their relationship to the next level — ASAP.
“People every day pressure us about having a baby. ‘When are we going to have a baby?’ That sort of thing,” he says. “It’s unfortunate because I know other couples are met with that same sort of pressure and there’s couples out there that can’t get pregnant or don’t want to. We’ve talked about wanting to have kids on our own timeline. It can be tough to just reorient the focus back to just us versus what everyone else has to say.”
And then there was the feeling they had to overcome that they were constantly being watched. That came from being followed by cameras for 16-hour days for weeks when they filmed their show.
“I actually dealt with nightmares after we stopped filming,” she says. “I think [it was] the difference between going from everything being so loud with the cameras and the crew and then just kind of shutting all that off and in an instant, waking up the next day and being married and living with my now husband and so many different changes.”
She dreamt she was being recorded, and when she was awake, had “phantom mic syndrome.” That is where she would be mid-conversation and then pat her chest to make sure she didn’t have a mic on recording her. Cameron had subtle paranoia and kept his guard up while filming the show, thinking he would be set up for some drama. Once the show ended, that fed into his feelings of being followed and filmed. It may sound like an odd experience, but that’s because it’s a transition the couple says people don’t think about and that participants don’t discuss when they stop doing reality TV. It’s certainly been a part of their journey and something they wanted to shed light on in their book.
But they say another big purpose in releasing Leap of Faith is to give encouragement to their followers and supporters who’ve asked for advice. Something for those who have seen the couple find love after they trusted in the unorthodox choice to seek it through a social experiment on television. Not being afraid to go the unconventional route or do the daring, whether for love, career and more, is the overall message they want to share and it’s one that has benefited them.
“Love is a journey and so is life. There are so many times where we have moments to take these leaps of faith that can really change the trajectory of our lives,” she says. “This book was really about us sharing the things that we kind of came across on our journey that really helped us.”
Cameron adds, “The goal when we were writing it was in part to tell our story of how we came to be, but we really want to give the reader the sense of how they can take their own leaps of faith in life and how they can have that confidence to trust their own intuition when people are saying ‘This is a crazy idea’ to start your own business or to go on a reality show. Whatever it is.”
Check out our full conversation with Lauren and Cameron above and check out Leap of Faith upon its release on June 15.
TOPICS: cameron hamilton Lauren and Cameron lauren speed love is blind
The post ‘People Every Day Pressure Us About Having A Baby’: Lauren Speed And Cameron Hamilton On Life Since ‘Love Is Blind’ appeared first on Essence.
It's like a jungle sometimes, fellow AFROnerdists! Welcome to the latest edition of Afronerd Radio's The Mid Week in Review cyber-broadcast, airing every Wednesday at 8 p.m. eastern on BTalk 100. The topics du jour this (mid) week are as follows: thoughts about the concept of Black Music Month and how the culture treats and or curates the African American (and diasporic) contributions of music performers-past and present; an offshoot of the BMM discussion, entails a piece from Ultimateclassicrock.com highlighting overlooked songs from the late Minneapolis music icon, Prince music catalog; recent reports are affirming an uptick in enrollment to HBCUs; the scion of the current POTUS (President Joe Biden), Hunter Biden has some "splaining" to do for purportedly using the infamous n-word in recently released texts with his attorney; the highly anticipated Disney+ Loki series was released today and we give you our first impressions of episode one; rumor has it that actor, Tenoch Huerta has been cast as Namor Mckenzie in the forthcoming Black Panther 2-Wakanda Forever MCU film; Dburt checked out the new Disney+ short, Us Again wishing it was a longer, fully fleshed out film (or series);
Screenrant.com interviewed filmmaker, Todd Thompson concerning his Woman in Motion: Nichelle Nichols, Star Trek and the Remaking of NASA documentary;
Zack Snyder hints that he would consider an anime to film translation of Dragon Ball Z, if given the opportunity during an interview with Tyrone Magnus; is the Blue Beetle film now destined for HBO Max? And is that a good thing? Lastly, thoughts about the new Boom Studios comic series, Basilisk.
Call us LIVE at 508-645-0100. AFTER CLICKING ON THE HIGHLIGHTED LINK, GO DIRECTLY TO AFRONERD RADIO!!!
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Even as mental health is becoming normalized in Black communities, being Black, LGBTQ+, and seeking mental health support can still be challenging. If you feel like you need help but don’t know where to turn, BGN has your back. We reached out to Dr. Mahogany Hall to provide some mental health tips for any of our Black LGBTQ+ siblings in need of support. Dr. Hall is the owner/founder of Hall Counseling Services LLC, a group practice specializing in treating racial trauma and working with LGBTQ+ communities. Her specialties include helping adolescents, adults, couples with depression, trauma, attachment, sexual orientation/identity, and acculturation.
Talk to me about some of the biggest challenges that Black LGBTQ+ communities face when seeking therapy.
Many Black people think of LGBTQ+ as just being “homosexuality,” which has always been taboo in the Black community, which is problematic. I’ve also noticed Black men take a little bit longer to warm up and talk about their sexual orientation.
Why is it important for Black LGBTQ+ folks who are seeking therapy to find Black LGBTQ+ therapists?
I am a Black queer woman. My practice specializes in racial trauma in the LGBTQIA community. People come to us because they know that we get it. They know our clinicians are trained in racial trauma and are comfortable working with the LGBTQ+ community. When you go to a therapist who cannot relate to you, it’s almost like speaking a foreign language. The patient has to educate the therapist instead of being taken care of. Your therapist should be culturally competent and allow the general conversation to flow to build trust.
What are three ways that folks can use to find a culturally competent therapist?
First, search for websites with a database of therapists of color, like Therapy for Black Girls.com or thisisdarkbeauty.com and Therapy for Black Men.org. Look for places where you don’t have to do a lot of the hard legwork to find a therapist of color.
Second, once you have a small selection of therapists, take the time to interview them. I always tell people the therapist works for the client, so go in with well-thought-out questions ready and try to figure out if this person is a match for you. It’s like a two-way job interview. If one person isn’t right, it’s okay to look around.
Third, recognize that it can be complicated to find therapists of color in your insurance plan or who are compatible with your budget. It never hurts to engage in certain types of communities through specific mental help groups on Meetup.com. Search out group therapy. You can also ask other people you know if they can recommend someone to you. Be creative and find ways to network. Many of our clients found out about us from word of mouth referrals from other clients.
As Black LGBTQ+ folks are coming forward in Black society as trailblazers, what can they do to protect and care for themselves as they educate their brothers and sisters?
Oh, that’s loaded. First and foremost, always practice self-care: physical activity, yoga, exercise, meditation, mindfulness, or therapy. Whatever that looks like to each individual. One thing that I think people are getting right is learning how to cope with differences of opinion. No human being is always going to be accepted by any one group or population of people. So, make peace with the fact that not everybody will love you, accept you, and welcome you into their home with open arms. It just won’t happen.
Similarly to people being racist and not liking you because of your skin color, people will dislike you because of your sexual orientation. Like I tell my clients, you have to let other people’s stuff be their stuff and not take on somebody else’s issues. If somebody else hates you or hates someone around you, that negativity is not your story. You don’t have to take on that energy. As long as there’s not a safety issue, stay away from it as much as you can. Learning to cope with people with ignorant opinions is essential self-care.
Surround yourself with people who support you—any type of circle. It can be friends, but more importantly, it should be people who accept you whether they share your story and your sentiments or not. Being around people who just love you unconditionally is essential, and placing yourself in low-stress situations where you don’t have to be educating people is vital. Make a goal of not carrying any guilt or shame for not continually educating people about this population. You’re not responsible for holding the weight of the world on your shoulders.
How does connecting to joy factor into your work?
I love the work that I do. My clients bring me joy. Gratitude also factors in. When my clients focus on gratitude, they find joy in so many challenging situations. For a Black person to gain satisfaction from therapy is like the most beautiful oxymoron because we don’t do therapy. That wasn’t a “Black thing” historically. Shifting that narrative just is a lovely process that brings me a tremendous amount of joy.
Dr. Mahogany Hall is a licensed clinical social worker with a doctorate of social work from the University of Southern California. She received her master’s degree in social work from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and her bachelor’s degrees in psychology and African and African American studies from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Dr. Hall has traveled throughout the United States assisting children and families for Fairfax County government in Northern Virginia. She has also served as a clinician for Fairfax County public schools.
Modalities: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), motivational interviewing (MI) https://hallcounselingservices.com/about/
Follow on IG @themahoganydoctor
Get your children reading at any age with this list of the best comics for kids that love superheroes.
Although this is a nerdy parent site, it is still a parent site, which means that I am among friends when I complain, “Kids these days don’t know how good they have it! When I was a kid, we could only get our superheroes from comic books!”
Okay, that’s not entirely true. I grew up with the Tim Burton-directed Batman movies and the Superman movies with Christopher Reeves. I even have a soft spot for the corny 1990 Captain America movie, in which Cap had rubber ears on the side of his helmet. And, of course, there were the animated X-Men and Spider-Man cartoon shows, which weren’t good, but they did have killer theme songs.
But the main source of superhero enjoyment was the spinner rack at my local grocery store. Every week after soccer, my mom would stop by to get a frozen pizza for dinner, and I got to pick out a new issue of X-Men, The Flash, or Green Lantern. My world expanded when I got a little older and started going to comic book shops, which opened me to wonderfully odd characters like Beak, Impulse, and G’Nort.
Today, things have changed. All three of those weirdos I just mentioned have made appearances in movies and tv shows. In fact, I’m writing this a week after Hulu debuted a ten-episode series about the very odd Captain America villain M.O.D.O.K. Earlier today, Marvel released the trailer for The Eternals, a major blockbuster film based on one of their most obscure super-teams.
Superheroes are in movies, tv shows, video games, and toy aisles, but that doesn’t mean that they’re gone from comic books. If anything, comics are even easier to access, thanks to services such as DC Universe Infinite, Marvel Unlimited, and Comixology Unlimited. But the nature of comic books has changed. Most writers and artists shoot for an older teen/young adult demographic, leaving behind the simple and brightly colored stories on which the genre was built for darker, more complex fare.
Parents hoping to get comics for their superhero-loving kids might be initially discouraged to find only multi-part stories about foul-mouthed, sexually adventurous superheroes. But just because those comics are the big sellers, doesn’t mean they’re all that’s out there. Marvel, DC, and countless independent publishers still make comics for their original audience: kids.
This quick guide will take nerdy parents past the inappropriate stuff towards comics perfect for superhero-loving kids of any age.
If you’re looking for something more interactive that involves the whole family, check out our Best Superhero Games for Kids By Age article.
For Ages 2 – 5
DC Superhero Girls (Wolfram and Grabowski) 
Since the genre born with the debut of Superman in 1938, many publishers have assumed that superheroes were a boy’s game. Sure, there were occasional gestures to girl readers, with the introduction of characters like Supergirl, Amythest, and Shadowcat. But the overwhelming majority of superhero comics were directed at boys, with comics about dating and fashion (Superman’s Girl, Lois Lane and Patsy and Hedy) reserved for girls.
Fortunately, publishers are finally beginning to realize what girls have known for decades: everybody likes superheroes! DC Comics is putting that knowledge to good use with their DC Superhero Girls line, which brings together kid-friendly versions of female characters from across their universe. From mainstream heroes like Supergirl and Wonder Woman to lesser-known characters like Bumblebee and Katana, DC Superhero Girls tells kid-friendly adventures everyone will enjoy.
Marvel Superhero Adventures (Various Authors) 
Mainstream Marvel comics tend to be densely serialized and knotty affairs, with a character going through numerous changes every year or so. A kid picking up a random issue of Spider-Man may find that they have only chapter three out of twelve and that Spidey isn’t even Spidey anymore.
For years, Marvel has simplified things with their Adventures line. Each Adventures digest contains four-six stories with all the superhero adventures your kids crave. But the stories dial way back on the violence and soap opera drama found in the mainstream books to accentuate jokes, daring-do, and lots of fun. With entries from top-level creators such as Daniel Kibbelsmith, Jeff Loveness, and Ty Templesmith, Marvel Superhero Adventures will introduce young superhero fans to the best the genre has to offer.
For Ages 6 – 12
Bandette (Tobin and Coover) 
Married writer and artist team Paul Tobin and Colleen Coover have a long history in the comics industry, working on everything from mainstream superhero books to decidedly adults-only fare. But they are perhaps at their best with the delightful indie comic Bandette.
With her domino mask and red cape, Bandette certainly looks like your average superhero. But she is, in fact, a super thief in the model of Robin Hood, stealing from the corrupt rich to care for her group of street urchins. While that might suggest some heavy socio-political talk that your child may not find interesting, Bandette is 100% pure whimsy. Set in the streets of Paris, Bandette is filled with wonderfully expressive art from Coover and great one-liners from Tobin.
Tiny Titans (Baltazar and Aureliani) 
Even Six-Year-Olds might balk when they see the artwork in Tiny Titans, a children’s adventure take on DC Comics long-running Teen Titans series. But once they notice the smart dialogue and ingenious gags, they’ll realize they aren’t reading something for babies. And as soon as they recognize deep-cut DC characters such as Lagoon Boy, then they’ll feel like pretty smart nerds. That’s the genius of Tiny Titans, from indie cartoonists Art Baltazar and Franco Aureliani. The duo possesses a clear love for the world of DC Comics, in all its weird permutations. But it pairs that passion with second-to-none cartooning skills, which allows them to bring new levels of whimsy to costumed classics. Fans of Calvin & Hobbes will love introducing their kids to these colorful and inventive versions of mainstream superheroes.
Ages 11-14
Superman Smashes the Klan (Yang and Gurihiru) 
Although some dismiss superheroes as escapist fantasy, the genre has its roots in real-world concerns. Over the years, the Justice Society has fought Axis powers, Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four aided the homeless in New York, and Green Arrow has taken on the drug trade. In one of the more famous incidents, writers of the 1940s radio show The Adventures of Superman worked with members of the Anti-Defamation League to disrupt Ku Klux Klan operations.
Teaming with Japanese art collective Gurihiru, writer Gene Leun Yang adapts and reimagines that story for modern audiences. Told from the perspective of Chinese Americans Tommy and Roberta Lee, who recently moved to Metropolis, Superman Smashes the Klan marks an early chapter in the life of Superman, as he fights for justice against the Klan of the Fiery Kross. A rousing adventure story, Superman Smashes the Klan teaches kids important lessons about tolerance, accepting others, and accepting yourself. We’ve also featured this book in our Best Graphic Novels for Middle School Aged Kids article.
Diana, Princess of the Amazons (Hale, Hale, and Ying) 
DC Comics’ efforts to reach female readers aren’t limited to just the DC Superhero Girls books they publish for young kids. Over the past few years, they’ve added YA graphic novels to their stable, bringing in some of the best writers in the genre. These books feature everyone from Aquaman to Harley Quinn to Batman, using the characters to tell coming-of-age romances and dramas with a superhero twist.
For Diana, Princess of Amazons, New York Times bestsellers Shannon Hale and Dean Hale team up with artist Victoria Ying to imagine the tweenhood of Princess Diana, the future Wonder Woman. Before embarking to the world of men to have superhero adventures with the Justice League, Diana was the lone child on an island full of grown Amazon women. While your children (probably) haven’t had that experience, they’ll certainly be able to relate with Diana’s feelings of loneliness and belonging, as she sets out on a quest to discover her place in the world.
Ages 15+
X-Men (Hickman, Various Artists) 
Superhero comics have always appealed to teenagers, but none have been as relatable as X-Men. Since the team’s creation in 1964, the X-Men have been required reading for anyone who feels alone, misunderstood, and yet undeniably special. Over the years, the X-Men have grown into a twisty soap opera of revisions and resurrections, making it impenetrable to some readers. But even at its most confusing, X-Men remains irresistible to adolescent fans.
In 2020, X-Men relaunched its premier team of mutants under the headship of writer Jonathan Hickman. Scuttling the plotlines of the past, but keeping the essential dynamics, Hickman and his cadre of artists has created a new status quo for the X-Men, imagining a world in which mutants enjoy sovereignty as their own nation – whether the world likes it or not. Combining dense storytelling with genuinely moving dramatic beats, this most recent run on X-Men is perfect for any misunderstood teen who doesn’t mind sinking their teeth into a vibrant superhero world
Justice League (Snyder, Tynion IV, Various Artists) 
The Justice League is the premier superhero team. Even more than the X-Men or the Avengers, the Justice League brings together some of the greatest heroes of all time, including Superman and Wonder Woman, to square off against reality-warping villains. Over the years, the JLA has battled large-scale threats, including the mind-controlling starfish Starro and the brutal Despero. But writer Scott Snyder and his collaborators, including occasional co-writer James Tynion IV, take things to another level with their version of the Justice League.
Using the structure of the immensely successful Justice League Unlimited cartoon show, Snyder pairs members of the core team – including Flash, Green Lantern John Stewart, and Hawkgirl – with C- and D-list heroes from across the DC Universe to take on a threat that crosses all time and space. It’s superhero action at its finest, embracing all the goofy storytelling conceits and over-the-top adventure that the genre can offer.
The post Best Comics For Kids That Love Superheroes appeared first on Nerdy With Children.