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https://blackgirlnerds.com/mothers-day-is-complicated/
We are all sensitive to how hard Mother’s Day can be for women who have lost children, are unable to have children, or wanted children but made a difficult choice not to have them. It’s common to experience feelings of emptiness if you are a mother, you’ve unsuccessfully tried to become a mother, you have a mother, or you no longer have a mother. There’s pressure if you don’t want to be a mother but the world is saying you must. A mother wound exists inside many of us, and it cuts deep because the umbrella that “mother” covers is our first safe space. Inevitably, this covering changes for us in one way or another.
Having a child is indeed a blessing to many women. The truth is that not every woman can relate. All through history, women have been expected to become mothers. Many people believed, and still do, that a woman’s primary role in life is to bear children. So, choosing to be childfree wasn’t really a thing. Instead, women who didn’t or couldn’t have children were often shunned by society. Not to mention, Black women were forced to raise white babies and their own during slavery.
Black women still experience joy in bringing new life into this world, even with the reality of Black mother’s experiences in America: a global health pandemic, a nationwide racial reckoning, and horrifying rates of Black maternal mortality. Our choice to be joyful in the face of all this is often weaponized against us. It’s the idea that Black women are not human; that we’re not worthy of anything good in the world. As scholar Imani Perry wrote, joy is a choice for Black people that, while intimately tethered to pain, simultaneously “exists through it.”
A Black mother choosing joy is in glaring contrast to the most flagrant ideas about Black motherhood. Throughout generations, society has reduced Black mothers to being: the Black matriarch of the 1960s, the welfare queen of the 1970s, and the crack mother of the 1980s. In her 1998 book, Killing the Black Body, Dorothy Roberts states that “white childbearing is generally thought to be a beneficial activity: it brings personal joy and allows the nation to flourish.” Black mothers, however, are seen as degenerates that must be controlled and disciplined, even within Black communities themselves.
I got married shortly after finishing college, and we agreed to wait at least two years before starting a family. Two years came and went, and my then husband revealed he wasn’t ready yet. Three, four, then five years came and went. Finally, he was ready but my body wasn’t. Years of birth control pills had taken its toll and my cycles were all out of whack. I had to take medication to stabilize my cycles which, in turn, caused weight gain and mood swings. We tried and tried. Nothing. Naturally, my doctor thought it was me. Yet, after every test imaginable, it wasn’t me. It was my husband. Ultimately, we were unable to have children which contributed to our marriage ending.
Even though it is a story of many married couples, I never wanted it to be mine. There I was in my mid-thirties, divorced and not knowing if I would ever become a mother. When I got married, people were asking me when I was going to have a baby before I even left the church on my wedding day. “When are you going to have a baby?” “You’re not getting any younger.” “Who will take care of you when you get old?” “Who’s going to give me grandchildren?” After my divorce, those same people painted me with doom and gloom because I didn’t fulfill what I was supposed to. More so, what was expected of me.
Mother’s Day has been complicated for me since then. I’m reminded of being without children, as well as without my mother. Then I have to deal with friends and family members who are determined to call me every year and say, “Happy Mother’s Day!” When I remind them, I am not a mother, I am swiftly told that I am indeed a mother to my siblings. No, I am a sibling to my siblings. Some are actually offended that I don’t accept their good tidings, which for me is simply trauma and loss.
While children are a blessing to many women, what works for one doesn’t always work for another. Throughout history, women have always been expected to become mothers. Women are still fighting for the choice to say no. I have friends who have never had a desire to be a mother, and that’s okay. Now more than ever, women have the opportunity to decide what’s best for them. Motherhood is a choice and some people choose otherwise. Oftentimes, they receive public surveillance, scrutiny and judgment that is on a whole other level.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that Black women are three times more likely to die from pregnancy complications that white women. Even celebrities such as Serena Williams have opened up about their difficult pregnancies. In a personal Vogue essay, Beyonce even shared her experience. “I was 218 pounds the day I gave birth to Rumi and Sir. I was swollen from toxemia and had been on bed rest for over a month. My health and my babies’ health were in danger, so I had an emergency C-section.” She says, adding, “I was in survival mode and did not grasp it all until months later.”
To the women who are mothers, unable to have children, or wanted children but made a difficult choice not to have them. If you’re missing your mother because of distance or loss, I see you. The world is a better place because we’re here — and not necessarily because of the choices we’ve made, or the difficult situations we’ve been through. But simply because we’re making the conscious decision to keep going, despite what we are told or what happens despite our best intentions.
The love you willingly extend to your children; to yourself; to your nieces and nephews; to your neighbors’ kids; to your fur babies. It’s the care you show them and yourself. Whether the pain is nearly impossible to manage, or it just started to become a little easier this year, you’re doing great. This world may place its expectations on you, or even hold you up for the time being because you checked all the boxes.
If you don’t have children, you may experience loneliness from friends and family sharing experiences you can’t relate to. Maybe you’re like me and considered the cool auntie that gives the best gifts. Maybe you do want children one day. Maybe you’ve been silently trying for years and it just hasn’t happened. Maybe you are content with fur babies, or not having any babies at all.
Regardless of your situation, I see you. Just in case the world forgets to tell you, you are valued. You make this Mother’s Day exactly how you need it to be, even if it’s complicated.
We are all sensitive to how hard Mother’s Day can be for women who have lost children, are unable to have children, or wanted children but made a difficult choice not to have them. It’s common to experience feelings of emptiness if you are a mother, you’ve unsuccessfully tried to become a mother, you have a mother, or you no longer have a mother. There’s pressure if you don’t want to be a mother but the world is saying you must. A mother wound exists inside many of us, and it cuts deep because the umbrella that “mother” covers is our first safe space. Inevitably, this covering changes for us in one way or another.
Having a child is indeed a blessing to many women. The truth is that not every woman can relate. All through history, women have been expected to become mothers. Many people believed, and still do, that a woman’s primary role in life is to bear children. So, choosing to be childfree wasn’t really a thing. Instead, women who didn’t or couldn’t have children were often shunned by society. Not to mention, Black women were forced to raise white babies and their own during slavery.
Black women still experience joy in bringing new life into this world, even with the reality of Black mother’s experiences in America: a global health pandemic, a nationwide racial reckoning, and horrifying rates of Black maternal mortality. Our choice to be joyful in the face of all this is often weaponized against us. It’s the idea that Black women are not human; that we’re not worthy of anything good in the world. As scholar Imani Perry wrote, joy is a choice for Black people that, while intimately tethered to pain, simultaneously “exists through it.”
A Black mother choosing joy is in glaring contrast to the most flagrant ideas about Black motherhood. Throughout generations, society has reduced Black mothers to being: the Black matriarch of the 1960s, the welfare queen of the 1970s, and the crack mother of the 1980s. In her 1998 book, Killing the Black Body, Dorothy Roberts states that “white childbearing is generally thought to be a beneficial activity: it brings personal joy and allows the nation to flourish.” Black mothers, however, are seen as degenerates that must be controlled and disciplined, even within Black communities themselves.
I got married shortly after finishing college, and we agreed to wait at least two years before starting a family. Two years came and went, and my then husband revealed he wasn’t ready yet. Three, four, then five years came and went. Finally, he was ready but my body wasn’t. Years of birth control pills had taken its toll and my cycles were all out of whack. I had to take medication to stabilize my cycles which, in turn, caused weight gain and mood swings. We tried and tried. Nothing. Naturally, my doctor thought it was me. Yet, after every test imaginable, it wasn’t me. It was my husband. Ultimately, we were unable to have children which contributed to our marriage ending.
Even though it is a story of many married couples, I never wanted it to be mine. There I was in my mid-thirties, divorced and not knowing if I would ever become a mother. When I got married, people were asking me when I was going to have a baby before I even left the church on my wedding day. “When are you going to have a baby?” “You’re not getting any younger.” “Who will take care of you when you get old?” “Who’s going to give me grandchildren?” After my divorce, those same people painted me with doom and gloom because I didn’t fulfill what I was supposed to. More so, what was expected of me.
Mother’s Day has been complicated for me since then. I’m reminded of being without children, as well as without my mother. Then I have to deal with friends and family members who are determined to call me every year and say, “Happy Mother’s Day!” When I remind them, I am not a mother, I am swiftly told that I am indeed a mother to my siblings. No, I am a sibling to my siblings. Some are actually offended that I don’t accept their good tidings, which for me is simply trauma and loss.
While children are a blessing to many women, what works for one doesn’t always work for another. Throughout history, women have always been expected to become mothers. Women are still fighting for the choice to say no. I have friends who have never had a desire to be a mother, and that’s okay. Now more than ever, women have the opportunity to decide what’s best for them. Motherhood is a choice and some people choose otherwise. Oftentimes, they receive public surveillance, scrutiny and judgment that is on a whole other level.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that Black women are three times more likely to die from pregnancy complications that white women. Even celebrities such as Serena Williams have opened up about their difficult pregnancies. In a personal Vogue essay, Beyonce even shared her experience. “I was 218 pounds the day I gave birth to Rumi and Sir. I was swollen from toxemia and had been on bed rest for over a month. My health and my babies’ health were in danger, so I had an emergency C-section.” She says, adding, “I was in survival mode and did not grasp it all until months later.”
To the women who are mothers, unable to have children, or wanted children but made a difficult choice not to have them. If you’re missing your mother because of distance or loss, I see you. The world is a better place because we’re here — and not necessarily because of the choices we’ve made, or the difficult situations we’ve been through. But simply because we’re making the conscious decision to keep going, despite what we are told or what happens despite our best intentions.
The love you willingly extend to your children; to yourself; to your nieces and nephews; to your neighbors’ kids; to your fur babies. It’s the care you show them and yourself. Whether the pain is nearly impossible to manage, or it just started to become a little easier this year, you’re doing great. This world may place its expectations on you, or even hold you up for the time being because you checked all the boxes.
If you don’t have children, you may experience loneliness from friends and family sharing experiences you can’t relate to. Maybe you’re like me and considered the cool auntie that gives the best gifts. Maybe you do want children one day. Maybe you’ve been silently trying for years and it just hasn’t happened. Maybe you are content with fur babies, or not having any babies at all.
Regardless of your situation, I see you. Just in case the world forgets to tell you, you are valued. You make this Mother’s Day exactly how you need it to be, even if it’s complicated.
Before joining us for the end of our Level Up! journey through Walt Disney World and Disney video games with Part 4, make sure you read the previous installments first. Part 1 explains why Disney hosted us at the parks and began our trip at the Magic Kingdom to learn about Disney Dreamlight Valley. Part 2 explores our time at the Animal Kingdom’s Pandora – The World of Avatar learning about the video game Avatar: Frontiers of Pandora. And Part 3 races through EPCOT to see why the free-to-play Disney Speedstorm is a winner.
Star Wars Outlaws
The upcoming Star Wars Outlaws will be the first-ever open world game set in the galaxy far, far away. It takes place between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Players will visit planets both infamous and new as a smuggler trying to establish themselves in the underworld. And while it was the only Level Up! game no one has actually played, it was also the easiest to understand why being at Disney was the single best way to promote it.
Our final full day at Walt Disney World brought us to Hollywood Studios to experience Galaxy’s Edge. It is simply the most immersive, complete, and incredible amusement park land I have ever experienced.
As a dedicated Star Wars fan who has also spent many years writing about the franchise and this attraction, I couldn’t believe I was actually there. Then I couldn’t believe it actually exceeded my impossible expectations. I was in awe in every sense of the word. It’s like walking directly into a Star Wars movie. The level of detail, both big and small, is unlike anything else. Everywhere you look, both inside and out, there’s something to appreciate.
Galaxy Edge’s stores, especially Dok-Ondar’s Den of Antiquities, feel like they actually exist as part of the market of distant planet. The restaurants, most notably Oga’s Cantina and Docking Bay 7 Food and Cargo, are so authentic you expect to see Han Solo shooting someone at the next table. I could have spent all day just sitting in Galaxy’s Edge drinking green milk (better than the blue!) and that would have been enough for me.
Thankfully we did a lot more than that. (Like meeting the Mandalorian and Grogu. Grogu was the only character I nerd’ed out over during my time at Walt Disney World.) I know I’m not saying anything countless other Star Wars fans haven’t already learned, but Galaxy’s Edge has two rides that will blow any fan’s mind. They each left me, someone who never shuts up, speechless for different reasons. The first we went on was Smuggler’s Run.
The ride itself is super fun. It has you work as a team to steal something for Hondo Ohnaka. But it’s what precedes the actual ride that left me floored. Before you’re seated you walk into a replica Millennium Falcon. It’s one of the coolest places I have ever been, period. It was absolutely surreal and had me geeking out in ways I didn’t know I could.
Of course I sat down at the Dejarik table and pretended to be playing. How could you not!? How. Could. You. Not?
Then came the masterpiece: Rise of the Resistance. For a sentimental Star Wars fan it’s the most hypnotic ride at any of the four Walt Disney World parks, but you don’t have to know Andor from Endor to appreciate it. If you’ve never ridden it don’t watch any videos about it. Wait–hard as it might be—until you experience it in person. That’s what I did and I am so very happy I did. There’s nothing like it for reasons I refuse to spoil.
What I will say is that when Rise of the Resistance (which celebrates two of my favorite Star Wars traditions: terrible security and daring escapes) ended I couldn’t find any words to convey how I felt. My hosts asked what I thought and all I could do was stare at them in silent wonder. I simply couldn’t believe that ride was real. I felt the exact same way the second time I rode it.
If Star Wars Outlaws captures even a tiny fraction of the feeling and joy Galaxy’s Edge gave me, I am going spend a whole lot of time in front of my TV working as a smuggler in the galaxy far, far away.
I wasn’t planning to do that before Disney invited me to Orlando, which is exactly the reason they did.
Mikey Walsh is a staff writer at Nerdist who is not exaggerating about Rise of the Resistance leaving him speechless. You can follow him on Twitter and Bluesky at @burgermike. And also anywhere someone is ranking the Targaryen kings.
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Based on the widely acclaimed Harvey and Eisner Award-nominated manga written and illustrated by Tatsuya Endo, the television series Spy x Family originally debuted on April 9, 2022. It was quickly embraced by fans across the globe with glee with the first two seasons available to watch on Crunchyroll. As I previously hyped up, when teasers and trailers started dropping, one of our favorite anime families–The Forger Family: Loid, Yor, Anya, and Bond the dog travel together under the guise of a weekend winter getaway.
He’s a spy. She’s an assassin. Together, Loid and Yor keep their double lives to themselves (mostly) while pretending to be the perfect family. However, their adopted daughter Anya, a telepath–the heart of their little family– knows both of their exciting secrets unbeknownst to them. In Spy x Family Code: White, this weekend getaway may have started as Loid’s attempt to make progress on his current mission, Operation Strix, but as the weekend progresses, the lives of one of our newest found families in anime are all at stake along with world peace after Anya accidentally gets caught up in some top-secret business.
I was so grateful to be invited to the red carpet premiere this Thursday, April 11, 2024 to enjoy the festivities as Crunchyroll hosted the English dubbed red carpet world premiere event of the highly anticipated feature film Spy x Family Code: White in Los Angeles at the DGA Theatre Complex. The fans came out and the red carpet came alive!
BNP briefly spoke to a few of Spy x Family Code: White’s English dubbed voice talent the night of the red-carpet event. We were on the tail end of the red carpet so we asked all the fun questions as things were wrapping up so we all could enter the theatre to watch the film!
We asked Megan Shipman (Anya): In real life, where do you think Anya would like to be taken on a family vacation? Disneyland, the Ghibli Museum in Japan? Or maybe the First Peanut Museum in the U.S. Waverly, Virginia?
Megan: Why not Disney World? But where would she go? It would have to be a place where her favorite characters would be! Like if Lions were her thing, she’d want to go and drag her parents to the Disney Animal Kingdom.
We asked Anthony Bowling (Franky Franklin): what Hollywood heartthrob or singer IRL would Frankie want to emulate?
Anthony: Oh, that’s a good question, Franky would probably go with Timothée Chalamet since he has such a big fan base and is pretty big in Hollywood, right now!
We asked Lindsay Seidel (Fiona Frost/Nightfall): What game of sports, video games, or table top game do you think you would have a solid chance at winning against Fiona aka Nightfall? I know it won’t be tennis!
Lindsay: Well, I’m terrible at sports, video games, and I can’t think of any tabletop games, but I just know that it would NOT be poker!
Lastly, we asked Natalie Van Sistine (Yor Briar-Forger/Thorn Princess): What is one thing that you’d love Yor to teach you? A takedown move?
Natalie: Her resilience. I love that Yor pours her heart into her family and wanting to do right by them! Like, she’s not great at cooking but carries on–getting cooking lessons, even ending up with band-aids all over her fingers and hands. She sticks to trying and her dedication and resilience shows so much, and I admire that!
Spy x Family Code: White welcomes to the big screen one of our favorite anime families, The Forgers and serves an adventurous romp with much fanfare and heart. Loid, Yor, Anya, and Bond the dog take a train for a weekend family trip–sure it is for research for another scheme for Operation Strix. Yet, everyone is excited and off they go! Darling Anya wanders off, as she tends to do, and accidentally gets caught up with some top secret business that she was better off knowing nothing about. The Forger family find themselves separated when the two goons little Anya previously came across at the beginning of the trip snatch her up and a rescue mission is launched, and world peace is once at stake!
The Sub(titled) and Dub(bbed) debate continues fiercely into the 2020’s, as in what version of the anime at least is better, more valid, etc.–and I refuse to allow it space here. Note: Spy x Family Code: White will have subbed and dubbed versions showing in theaters. Count yourself a fan? Go see both versions! This is something I often do with anime films in general just to see how they differ and support my favorite voice talent on different versions. I am so impressed by the efforts of the English Dubb team: the original cast reposed their roles before the anime adaptation with some new voices, of course. Voice actor Alex Organ as Loid effortlessly commands attention on the big screen whether instructing Anya on her studies while on a train or being undercover on an enemy vessel. Natalie Van Sistine as Yor gives us multitudes as the sometimes hapless but never damsel in distress undercover assassin who wants to protect her precious little family yet still questions her place in it. Van Sistine and Organ both shine individually and the magic of them interacting together marks a hilarious misunderstanding that follows them out of town and on this family weekend trip.
Megan Shipman’s Anya returned to steal my heart away with such precision with childlike wonder, curiosity, and offbeat pronunciations in one too many situations that only Anya can get herself in. Shipman does wonders especially in the quieter moments with her parents and with strangers, the two enemy lackeys (one of them being Tyson Rinehart’s Luca) that end up kidnapping her and pursuing her again and again throughout the film. I was also happy to see and hear Tyler Walker as best doggo Bond, Anthony Bowling (Franky), and Lindsay Seidel (Nightfall) once again to help flesh out the voice cast with much affection (Bond), attempts at charisma (Franky) and intensity (Fiona). The eccentric big baddie on the film, Phil Parsons as Domitri gave a domineering and rightfully terrifying at times performance and weight to the voice cast. Parson flexed his skill set and it showed throughout the film from everything from imitating small children everywhere to ordering terrible (war) crimes to be committed.
The animation in Spy x Family Code: White did not disappoint: audiences will find their eyeballs lingering on all the delicious food the Forger set out to try on their vacation. I appreciated several small details and scenes in the film like the reveal of the item that Anya snuck away to find and special ride attractions between different members of the Forger family. Spy x Family Code: White’s animation is produced by two acclaimed anime teams: WIT STUDIO (Attack on Titan (Season 1-3); VINLAND SAGA; Ranking of Kings) and CloverWorks (The Elusive Samurai; Black Butler: Public School Arc). In the later part of the film, the action sequences alone punch up the volume and the animation quality as the life-or-death stakes continue to get raised: fan favorite Yor’s fiery spar against a mysterious enemy makes for a devastating showdown not to be missed.
My favorite animation sequence in Spy x Family Code: White came courtesy of Anya who in a hilariously delirious state has a sort of vision that I can only describe as hilariously distracting and on brand for the little girl. This animated scene, near the end of the film, adds a vibrantly gorgeous and gut funny component to the film that made the theater erupt into laughter nearly all the way through. Reminiscent of internet humor and perhaps even a bit of homage to gag manga, it helped add even more humor to the film which already had audiences laughing and reacting to what was happening on the big screen. This was the momentum peak of humor in the film for me even though the adapting the original material for the English dub voice talent cast led to many snappy, on liners and funny little moments throughout.
Spy x Family Code: White operates on the same energy of the anime adaptation in a way but in a way more explosive fashion. The film bounces successfully from action to heart-warming moments to quiet realizations to chaos once again making the Forger’s the family to adore and continue to keep watching. Their film debut makes a successful landing at the end of its nearly two-hour showtime, balancing a story of a few narrative threads: most important that family sticks together and that we are responsible for each other and come through for each other. Every Forger family member found themselves balancing different agendas and desires on this trip, and yet they all came together for each other and ultimately for others for their shared future together. Saving the world, means saving the ones we love, of course!
Do fans of animation, anime in particular and fans of the Spy x Family franchise, need to watch Spy x Family Code: White? No. Here’s the thing: if you want to be entertained, wowed by the animation, impressed by a great English dub effort, and reminded of why we are endeared to the Forger family so much, you’ll buy a ticket today. These pandemic years have introduced and reintroduced many people to anime via streaming apps and to enjoying more of it, in theaters attendance too. Spy x Family Code: White serves an adventurous, explosive romp with much fanfare, humor, and heart. While this film was written as an all-new original story, it surely encases the spirit of the anime adaptation and makes me hope for another film adventure featuring the Forger family sometime in the near future. Spy x Family Code: White is a treat to watch in theaters, and I’d watch it again!
Credits: Directed by Takashi Katagiri. Written by Ichiro Okouchi. Original story by Tatsuya Endo. Produced by WIT STUDIO x CloverWorks.
Spy x Family Code: White hits theaters on April 19th. Seasons one and two of the series are available for streaming on Crunchyroll.
Thanks again so much Crunchyroll and RCPMK for the invitation to the event and to be part of the grand experience!
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