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April 11, 2017

10 Unintentionally Terrifying Kids Movies I Still Haven’t Recovered From – Seriously, I think the '80s were trying to kill me.

https://www.themarysue.com/10-unintentionally-terrifying-kids-movies-i-still-havent-recovered-from/

the dark crystal

Editor’s note: This article originally appeared on ThePortalist.com, and is reposted here with permission.

There’s an endless supply of titles meant to unsettle adults, but when I was younger, some of the movies that horrified me the most weren’t horror movies at all. Here are 10 films that (mostly) unintentionally terrified me as a kid.

(image: MGM)

This classic movie is easily one of the most beloved and influential films in cinema history. It’s also terrifying. Sure, we’re supposed to take joy in the adventures of plucky Dorothy Gale and her Ozian pals, but who can enjoy their journey to see the Wizard with those horrifying flying monkeys flitting around? The Wicked Witch’s hench-primates still strike fear in many a little one today, and made the trip down the Yellow Brick Road one I could only watch with my hands covering my eyes.

“Bunnies! Bunnies! It must be bunnies!” The novel Watership Down was required reading in my freshman English class, which just re-opened wounds for those of us who had already been traumatized by the animated movie. Famine, murder, chaos—how in Frith’s name is this movie appropriate for children? If Watership Down’s filmmakers were trying to toughen me up, they weren’t successful: I avoid rabbits to this day.

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(image: Universal)

Everything about this Jim Henson and Frank Oz movie is deeply upsetting. I thought Muppets were supposed to bring you to your happy place, not a hellscape of power-hungry, menacing creatures with nothing but murder on their minds. I’m sure many parents took their kids to see The Dark Crystal in theaters based on 1979’s adorable Muppet Movie, but this tale of the Gelfling Jen and his quest to heal the Dark Crystal and protect his world from a species of malevolent creatures is way, way darker than The Muppet Movie. Sorry Mom and Dad, but it’s one of the reasons I’m in therapy.

RELATED: 8 Chilling Sci-Fi Horror Movies

(image: Universal)

Adorable wrinkly alien befriends adorable human child. Sounds like a recipe for a family-friendly film, right? Wrong! Not only was kid-me highly suspicious of E.T.’s ominously glowing finger, but the scene where Elliott first encounters E.T. in the garage scared the heck out of many a young viewer in the ’80s, myself included. To top it all off, later in the film—once I’d finally come to see E.T.’s cuteness—scary men in hazmat suits tried to kill my new friend. Why did you toy with me so, Spielberg?

What monster decided to kill a horse in a children’s movie? Watching Atreyu’s faithful horse Artax drown in quicksand was not only frightening, but gave me my first broken heart. I know I’m not alone in this. As if Artax’s untimely end wasn’t traumatizing enough, the Nothing and his henchman Gmork have featured in my nightmares since the ’80s. Seriously, I think the ’80s were trying to kill me.

(image: Disney)

Oh, so the Wizard of Oz wasn’t frightening enough for you? How about this 1980s sequel where Dorothy returns to Oz to find the magical land under the thumb of a genocidal king? Also, how about we swap the affable Scarecrow and Tin Man for an unsettling pumpkin-man and a truly terrifying robot? In returning to this movie as an adult, I appreciated the award-winning effects—but as a child, this movie was straight-up nightmare fuel.

Who knew a children’s movie about sentient appliances would have such an impact on so many kids! When I asked folks on Twitter about what films from their childhood scarred them the most, The Brave Little Toaster came up numerous times. After watching the movie’s appliance protagonists be tortured by a sadistic junkyard crusher and crane, many of us never looked at construction equipment the same way again.

This animated movie opens with the murder of the lead character, and only gets darker from there, as the film shows him facing the prospect of eternal damnation. What made the movie even more upsetting was the fact that Judith Barsi, who played the young orphan girl Anne-Marie, was murdered by her father before the film’s release. There is a heaviness to All Dogs Go To Heaven that betrays the movie’s lighthearted premise.

If Little Monsters didn’t give you a lifelong fear of Howie Mandel, then you must be tougher than I am. I’m not sure if the filmmakers intended for this film to be truly frightening, or more of a whimsical comedy, but the end result is chilling. Mandel plays Maurice, a blue, baby-scaring, misanthropic monster who eventually befriends a young boy named Brian. He and Brian visit the monster underworld, where it’s all fun and games until the adventure turns downright scary and Brian’s brother Eric becomes a target of the monsters. I may or may have cried into my Milk Duds out of fear at the theater.

Even though I wasn’t technically a child when Spirited Away came out, this Hayao Miyazaki fantasy film deserves mention for capitalizing on two of the most common childhood anxieties: fear of becoming lost, and fear of something happening to your parents. InSpirited Away, 10-year-old Chihiro’s parents are turned into pigs, leaving her abandoned and forced to fend for herself against a variety of spirits and creatures. The mere sight of the spirit No-Face can still strike fear into the hearts of millennials (me too, and I’m in my 30s!). Just seeing the many memes inspired by this movie still gives me the creeps.

(featured image: Universal)

Dana Piccoli is a pop culture critic and entertainment writer who lives recently relocated from New York to Greenville, SC. She’s a former Staff Editor and writer for AfterEllen and contributes to The Mary Sue, TV Junkies and more. She’s also written for Curve Magazine, Go Magazine, and Alloy Entertainment. You can follow her on Twitter and Tumblr.

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April 11, 2017

Injustice 2 Lets You Create the Boba Fett Batman You Always Dreamed of

http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/io9/full/~3/M7kC9GTh1NQ/injustice-2-lets-you-create-the-boba-fett-batman-you-al-1794209172

Did you ever draw different costumes for Superman, Wonder Woman, or Cyborg in your Social Studies notebook? Yeah, me too. The upcoming Injustice 2 video game sort of let you do the same thing, including a Dark Knight that looks like he’s wearing Mandalorian battle armor.

As If You Needed An Excuse To Drink, Science Proves Wine Is Great For Your Brain

http://madamenoire.com/826209/wine-good-for-the-brain/

According to new research done by neuroscientist Dr. Gordon Shepherd, which was shared by The Independent, not only is wine delicious, but it’s a fantastic workout for the brain.

wine good for the brain

The Yale School of Medicine professor said that sniffing wine and analyzing the taste with our tongue takes some “exquisite control of one of the biggest muscles in the body.” How? According to the years he spent studying the ways in which our brains process flavors, he found that when we swirl wine around our mouth, the muscles of our tongue, as well as thousands of taste and odor receptors, are kicked into high gear. This analysis of the aromatic flavors is said to stimulate the brain in ways even solving tough math problems can’t seem to do.

In his new book, Neuroenology: How The Brain Creates The Taste of Wine, Shepherd stated that through his studies, he came to the conclusion that the taste of wine has nothing to do with the specific drink in question, but rather, the taste “is created by the brain of the wine taster.”

Those tastes are based on our own references of flavor, which come from “our own memories and emotions and those of our companions,” as well as the composition of our saliva, our ages and gender.

Swallowing the wine is said to be paramount to the tasting process (not spitting it out as some do at tastings), which gives your brain that workout. However, if you drink too much, you’re giving your brain a bad workout — so don’t say we gave you an excuse to get your guzzle on, friends.

Image via Bigstock

The post As If You Needed An Excuse To Drink, Science Proves Wine Is Great For Your Brain appeared first on MadameNoire.

April 10, 2017

Gorillaz are Finally Getting Their Own TV Show

http://nerdist.com/gorillaz-are-finally-getting-their-own-tv-show/

Since the early 2000s, we’ve followed the live of Gorillaz through various means. Lyrically, their albums usually weave some sort of tale about the band members’ lives or mystical lands or what-have-you. Their music videos are a visual extension of that, and they even tell a cohesive story, or at least contribute to the same universe, when viewed consecutively. In the build-up to the band’s next album Humanz, they also shared a series of social media stories that gave details about what the band members had been up to between Plastic Beach and now.

Basically, if any band is begging to be turned into a TV show, it’s Gorillaz, and now, it’s finally happening. In an interview with Q Magazine (as Fact reports), Jamie Hewlett, the illustrator half of Gorillaz, said that he’s currently working on, among other things, a 10-episode TV series about the band.

As of now, that’s about all we know, but the possibilities are endless because of the storied mythology the band has created for itself over the past sixteen years. They dealt with a zombie apocalypse in the “Clint Eastwood” music video, and that’s just the start of the madness they’ve faced. Adult Swim seems like a pretty natural home for this sort of project, so we’re optimistic that this will actually come to fruition.

How about you? Would you watch a Gorillaz TV show, or are you all set with their music? Give us a shout on Twitter and share your thoughts!

Featured image: Gorillaz/YouTube