deerstalker

https://madamenoire.com/1064685/you-dont-have-to-settle-why-taking-your-time-to-find-the-right-fit-can-save-you-from-years-of-pain/

Woman Drinking Coffee While Sitting At Table

Source: Artem Varnitsin / EyeEm / Getty

We’ve all settled in at least one aspect of our lives. Whether it’s taking a job we hate, or entertaining unfulfilling relationships, we have all experienced feeling dissatisfied in our choices.
Why do we do it? So many reasons. We get comfortable and complacent. We get used to our routine and it feels impossible to consider a new, more challenging role. Sometimes we let fear keep us stagnant.
As far as friendships go, I think we get so caught up in how many years we’ve been friends with people that we overestimate the value of those relationships. We look at others who have had friendships since elementary school and we revere those relationships. We think that those people are lucky. But I always wonder what the quality of these friendships are. Are the bonds strong? Is the communication consistent? Is the relationship healthy? You can have decades long friendships that were more harmful than healthy. It’s about quality of time, not quantity.
I luckily found some major keys while scrolling Instagram on this exact topic.
Black Twitter stay having gems man. I’ve carefully cultivated a cohort of fire ass independent female creatives that I follow, who never hesitate to share words of wisdom on life and love. I stumbled across this quote the other day:
“The quality of a relationship is measured by how long I am happy. If I am in a relationship for 10 years, and I was happy for 2, the quality of the relationship expired at 2 years. The remaining 8 years spent was me denying myself happiness to preserve an expired idea.”
That hit me deep. If we really examined the quality of our relationships, we would realize how many times we’ve chosen to settle.
We remember and view relationships the way we want to, but it sometimes isn’t reality. We tend to suffer unnecessarily by continuing relationships that no longer serve us.
While relationships can be super emotional, sometimes comparing it to something a little more practical can help us view it different.
For a second lets look at picking and choosing a partner as the same thing as shopping for a new apartment.
If you’ve ever searched for an apartment in New York, you know that it is not an easy task to find the perfect space. You got your non-negotiable list handy: modern appliances, close to the trains,laundry in building or at least close by. A good sized bedroom, a dishwasher if you can swing it. We search hundreds of listings and trek all over the city, dreaming of the perfect place to rest our heads after a long day of work.
I don’t know about ya’ll, but as I get older, I get more selective. My apartment isn’t perfect, but it’s the best apartment I’ve ever had in the city. Laundry in unit, dishwasher, standing shower,large bedroom, big living room space. I’m close to Central Park, bars, restaurants, and trains. In a lot of ways, I won. I think if we were more selective about our partners in the way we operate when it comes to finding apartments we wouldn’t get caught settling. A shitty partner is very similar to a shitty apartment. In this case, it’s a ‘pre-war’ walkup with no laundry in the building. The occasional rodent problem, or bed bugs, overpriced, and lacking in amenities. We’ve all had this apartment, we’ve all experienced that partner. The key is to learn that we can have better,and deserve better. If we just take our time, learn from our mistakes, practice patience, and believe that the perfect mate and living space is out there, we will be more satisfied and happier overall.
I remember when I first moved into my apartment. The satisfying feeling that this was it; the perfect place to live. I encourage ya’ll to give yourself room to experience that feeling. The partner or potential that sparks something in you, draws you in,and nothing can change your mind. That’s it! Give yourself space to feel this type of joy in your platonic and romantic relationships, in your job, in your life. There is so much beauty in the world, so many opportunities to cultivate joy. We cheat ourselves every time by settling for anything less.

March 15, 2019

You Don’t Have To Settle: Why Taking Your Time To Find The Right Fit Can Save You From Years Of Pain

https://madamenoire.com/1064685/you-dont-have-to-settle-why-taking-your-time-to-find-the-right-fit-can-save-you-from-years-of-pain/

Woman Drinking Coffee While Sitting At Table

Source: Artem Varnitsin / EyeEm / Getty

We’ve all settled in at least one aspect of our lives. Whether it’s taking a job we hate, or entertaining unfulfilling relationships, we have all experienced feeling dissatisfied in our choices.
Why do we do it? So many reasons. We get comfortable and complacent. We get used to our routine and it feels impossible to consider a new, more challenging role. Sometimes we let fear keep us stagnant.
As far as friendships go, I think we get so caught up in how many years we’ve been friends with people that we overestimate the value of those relationships. We look at others who have had friendships since elementary school and we revere those relationships. We think that those people are lucky. But I always wonder what the quality of these friendships are. Are the bonds strong? Is the communication consistent? Is the relationship healthy? You can have decades long friendships that were more harmful than healthy. It’s about quality of time, not quantity.
I luckily found some major keys while scrolling Instagram on this exact topic.
Black Twitter stay having gems man. I’ve carefully cultivated a cohort of fire ass independent female creatives that I follow, who never hesitate to share words of wisdom on life and love. I stumbled across this quote the other day:
“The quality of a relationship is measured by how long I am happy. If I am in a relationship for 10 years, and I was happy for 2, the quality of the relationship expired at 2 years. The remaining 8 years spent was me denying myself happiness to preserve an expired idea.”
That hit me deep. If we really examined the quality of our relationships, we would realize how many times we’ve chosen to settle.
We remember and view relationships the way we want to, but it sometimes isn’t reality. We tend to suffer unnecessarily by continuing relationships that no longer serve us.
While relationships can be super emotional, sometimes comparing it to something a little more practical can help us view it different.
For a second lets look at picking and choosing a partner as the same thing as shopping for a new apartment.
If you’ve ever searched for an apartment in New York, you know that it is not an easy task to find the perfect space. You got your non-negotiable list handy: modern appliances, close to the trains,laundry in building or at least close by. A good sized bedroom, a dishwasher if you can swing it. We search hundreds of listings and trek all over the city, dreaming of the perfect place to rest our heads after a long day of work.
I don’t know about ya’ll, but as I get older, I get more selective. My apartment isn’t perfect, but it’s the best apartment I’ve ever had in the city. Laundry in unit, dishwasher, standing shower,large bedroom, big living room space. I’m close to Central Park, bars, restaurants, and trains. In a lot of ways, I won. I think if we were more selective about our partners in the way we operate when it comes to finding apartments we wouldn’t get caught settling. A shitty partner is very similar to a shitty apartment. In this case, it’s a ‘pre-war’ walkup with no laundry in the building. The occasional rodent problem, or bed bugs, overpriced, and lacking in amenities. We’ve all had this apartment, we’ve all experienced that partner. The key is to learn that we can have better,and deserve better. If we just take our time, learn from our mistakes, practice patience, and believe that the perfect mate and living space is out there, we will be more satisfied and happier overall.
I remember when I first moved into my apartment. The satisfying feeling that this was it; the perfect place to live. I encourage ya’ll to give yourself room to experience that feeling. The partner or potential that sparks something in you, draws you in,and nothing can change your mind. That’s it! Give yourself space to feel this type of joy in your platonic and romantic relationships, in your job, in your life. There is so much beauty in the world, so many opportunities to cultivate joy. We cheat ourselves every time by settling for anything less.


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March 14, 2019

Things We Saw Today: Marvel’s Andy Park Discusses Captain Marvel‘s Costumes

https://www.themarysue.com/marvels-andy-park-captain-marvel-costumes/

Captain Marvel on her movie poster.

There’s a lot to love about superhero films: the stars, the powers, the VFX. but one of the best elements is by far the costuming choices. Superhero costumes come with their own unique set of challenges. They have to be custom-made, and the need to look good both in static poses and in action sequences. Costume design can make or break a film: like Ruth E. Carter’s Oscar-winning Afro-futurist looks in Black Panther, or Ryan Reynolds’ poorly conceived digital suit for Green Lantern.

Marvel Studios Director of Visual Development & Concept Artist Andy Park shared some of the secrets behind his latest collaboration: Carol Danvers’ suits in Captain Marvel. Park has become the go-to-guy for female character design, having worked on the looks of Black Widow, Scarlett Witch, Hela, Mantis, Nebula, and Wasp, in addition to Captain Marvel. And he wouldn’t have it any other way:

“My whole career has been very female-centric and I’m very proud of that. Growing up, my two favorite comic book characters were Iron Man and Rachel Summers — who is Phoenix (Jean Grey and Scott Summers’ daughter in an alternate universe). She was my favorite character because she’s so powerful. In the ’90s, my favorite TV show was Buffy, and for the first 10 years of my career — before becoming a concept artist — I was best known for drawing the Tomb Raider comic books. So, being able to work on the first co-lead female MCU superhero (Wasp) and also the first lead (Captain Marvel), is something I’m really proud and honored to have done.”

Park shared some of his favorite keyframes from the film, as well as his thought process behind the looks. There are so many details embedded in Carol’s costume that you might miss on the first look. Oh well, one more reason to watch it again!

(via Buzzfeed, image: Marvel)

    • It looks like Iceland is the best country in the world to be a woman. BRB, packing our bags. (via Huffington Post)
    • Let’s decode the Avengers: Endgame trailer via Scarlett Johansson’s wigs. (via Nerdist)

    • Say the magic word: Shazam! is projected to have a super-sized box office debut. (via Blastr)
    • Ben Affleck loves his giant Phoenix back tattoo. Whatever makes Sad Batman happy is alright by me. (via Pajiba)

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—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—


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March 14, 2019

Netflix’s Tuca & Bertie Promises Broad City With Birds and We Can’t Wait

https://www.themarysue.com/tuca-bertie-promises-broad-city-with-birds-bojack-horseman/

We here at TMS have been pretty vocal supporters of Netflix’s BoJack Horseman. The critically acclaimed animated series from creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg is an incredibly funny satire on Hollywood and celebrity culture, while also remaining unafraid to tackle heavy subject matter like sexism, addiction, sexuality, and the #MeToo Movement. It is also one of the most painfully realistic depictions of depression I’ve ever seen on television.

Now, the show’s producer and production designer Lisa Hanawalt has created her own adult animated series. Tuca & Bertie is a “comedy about the friendship between two 30-year-old bird women who live in the same apartment building: Tuca, a cocky, care-free toucan and Bertie, an anxious, daydreaming songbird.”

The series (which is executive produced by Bob-Waksberg) stars comedians Tiffany Haddish and Ali Wong as Tuca and Bertie, respectively. In the behind-the-scenes clip above, we see Haddish and Wong in the recording studio, riffing on their lines and cracking jokes.

The women clearly have a natural comedic chemistry that translates effortlessly. They’ll be joined by Steven Yeun (The Walking Dead) as Bertie’s boyfriend Speckle, and additional voice talent like Tig Notaro, Nicole Byer, Richard E. Grant, Amber Ruffin, Tessa Thompson and more.

The show not only shares the same visual sensibility at BoJack Horseman, but a similar commitment to mixing comedy with real-world issues. Hanawalt said of the series, “It’s sort of a soothing show to watch … Very relaxing and sweet and funny and feels friendly, like these are your buddies, but also kind of perverted and surreal and there are some darker themes that are touched on in the show. I want it grounded in things that I worry about from day to day.”

Wong said of the show, “In a lot of ways, it kind of does mirror us because Tiffany is like, out there and about, and she’s like fun and is not repressed, and I’m kind of a recluse and a homebody, I’m kind of like a boring person who’s at home with my husband and my kids.”

In addition to being a female-fronted show in front of and behind the scenes, Tuca & Bertie will be one of the few adult animation shows with a female showrunner. Hanawalt said:

“I’d consistently go on Netflix or whatever and try to find a cartoon that really felt like it was for me, and I just wasn’t finding it. There are shows created by women that are aimed at children like, Steven Universe, that I really, really love but they don’t have those adult themes that I want to see, and then there are animated shows for adults, but they’re created by men and largely written by men and so they don’t have the themes that I want. They’re not speaking to me. Most of the things I create, whether they’re comic books or shows, I’m just trying to create what I would want to watch personally.”

With Broad City ending its run, this new series couldn’t come at a better time.

Tuca & Bertie premieres on Netflix on May 3rd.

(via Entertainment Weekly, image: screencap)

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—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—


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March 14, 2019

Things We Saw Today: Any Single Woman over 26 Is Now a Thornback. It Is Law.

https://www.themarysue.com/thornback-it-is-law/

Spinsters are now thornbacks

Remember back to the good ol’ days when women had to be married by the time they were, oh, say, 23, or they were referred to as rude names?

Well, Twitter user Sophia Benoit does! The writer took to Twitter to share some interesting points about the idea of a ‘”spinster” and what it means to still be unwed when you’ve passed the ages set by society (the patriarchy).

While being called a spinster sucks—because it is sexist, outdated, and frankly ridiculous—I’m personally proud to have moved passed spinster-dom into my life as a thornback. Come one and all, welcome yourselves to the life of a thornback!

“Thornback” with its old-fashioned connotations is still an archaic way of looking at women (because there is just the term bachelor for men, right? I can’t think of anything else) but it is fun if we reclaim it. Reclaiming my time, reclaiming my age, reclaiming the use of the word thornback! “Thornback” has a powerful energy just waiting to be channeled into 2019.

Spinster cat comic

(source: Twitter)

Here are some other things we saw today!

  • Everything is Goose the cat and nothing hurts!!!! The cat wrangler from the set of Captain Marvel talks about the moment that made our beloved Flerken cat a hero. (via Vulture)
  • Speaking of some of our Marvel favorites, there is finally a director set for Shang-Chi, the studio’s first project with an Asian lead, and it’s Destin Daniel Cretton! Cretton has a history directing MCU stars like Brie Larson and Michael B. Jordan. (via The Hollywood Reporter)

  • A dad turned his daughter into Captain Marvel and no, I’m not crying. You’re crying so it just LOOKS like I’m crying. (via The Huffington Post)
  • We may miss the Mars rover Opportunity with all of our hearts, but we’re still getting a look at some of the images that it captured. Like this panorama of Mars. (via Engadget)

Did we miss anything good out there today, Mary Suevians?

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