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Growing up, it always seemed like marriage was a goal. Something you achieve and the diamond engagement ring is the prize. But not for the man though. It seemed that when a woman was proposed to it symbolized her worth.  When a woman didn’t have a boyfriend or a husband, she was looked as if something was wrong with her. I grew up thinking if a man married me, it meant I was beautiful, lovable and valuable. If a man picked me I must be wanted and desired. I’ve finally realized that I can be single my whole life and still have all those qualities.

Marriage was one of my main goals all throughout my twenties. I wanted a life partner so I could feel complete.  I thought getting married could wash away what was left of my low self-esteem. Having a husband would confirm that I was wanted, desired,  beautiful and “good woman.” I also wanted to belong, to be taken. As I am reaching 30 I’ve realized that the way I thought about marriage was all wrong.

The things I thought I would get from a marriage are things I have to do on my own. I determine who and what I am, not my husband. If I don’t feel beautiful and still battle low self-esteem, I have to address that with my therapist, not a life mate. I have to make sure I am a complete, emotionally healthy being, not my husband.

Marriage isn’t going to be a source of validation for me. It’s not supposed to be anyway. Even if I don’t get married I am okay with that. If I never get a ring, that doesn’t mean something is wrong with me or that I am doing something wrong. Marriage isn’t a goal or achievement for me anymore. It’s an option. It’s not a priority on my to-do list before 30. What’s more important is for me to continue to learn how to embrace who I am before I look for someone else to do it.

The Ava DuVernay critically acclaimed drama series Queen Sugar will air its 5th season in 2020.

Current season four showrunner Anthony Sparks will also return for the fifth season. Queen Sugar tells the story of the Bordelon family, who are fighting to save their family farm to preserve their father’s legacy while navigating their own personal journeys.  

In season four, Charley (Dawn-Lyen Gardner) has remained in the thick of the trials and tribulations in both her personal and professional life as she continues to battle the Landry family while also trying to ensure Micah’s (Nicholas Ashe) safety and future. Nova (Rutina Wesley) has published her memoir and goes on a book tour around the country sharing family secrets and shaking things up at home. Ralph Angel (Kofi Siriboe) is managing fatherhood and his complicated relationship with ex-girlfriend Darla (Bianca Lawson) after learning he is not the biological father of his son, Blue (Ethan Hutchison), and is encouraged by an old friend to create opportunities for formerly incarcerated men. 

“Every character feels like family. Our own. I am excited to see what Ava has unfolding next for the Bordelons,” said Oprah Winfrey.

“I’m thrilled to further explore the beauty, pain and triumph of this African-American family, with hopes that their story will continue to resonate with audiences who see themselves in the Bordelons,” said DuVernay. “It’s a real honor to create this work with Warner Horizon and OWN as their support is rock-solid and wonderful.”

“Queen Sugar” is produced for OWN by Array Filmworks and Harpo Films in association with Warner Horizon Scripted Television. The season four executive producers are Ava DuVernay, Oprah Winfrey, Paul Garnes and Anthony Sparks. The series is based on the book by Natalie Baszile.

The post OWN TV’s ‘Queen Sugar’ Renews for its 5th Season appeared first on Black Girl Nerds.

'Riverdale' is returning to The CW for its fourth season on October 9. (Photo Credit: The CW)

TGIF. While you’re planning for the long weekend ahead, we’ve rounded up the top movie and TV trailers that you may have missed during the week.

A new El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie trailer revisited Jesse Pinkman’s journey, while Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead are getting ready for their senior year in Riverdale Season 4. From AMC’s The Walking Dead to Magnolia Pictures & Magnet Releasing’s creepy documentary Wrinkles The Clown, here are the top movies and TV shows to keep on your radar.

The Walking Dead

“Now is the end of the world, we will raise all dead.” (All the chills here.) The Walking Dead Season 10, which stars Danai Gurira and Norman Reedus, premieres October 6 on AMC.

The Lighthouse

Watch Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson drive each other mad in A24’s The Lighthouse, a chilling film about two lighthouse keepers living alone near the sea, which hits theaters on October 18.

See

AppleTV+ dropped a trailer for See, a fantasy-meets-futuristic series about a pair of twins believed to be the only humans that aren’t blind after a virus kills most of mankind. The show, which stars Jason Momoa as their father, is coming to AppleTV+ on November 1.

Wrinkles The Clown

Explore the day-to-day activities of a real-life Pennywise in the haunting documentary Wrinkles The Clown, which will debut in theaters on October 4. Who’s the man behind the eerie mask? No one knows.

Into the Dark: Uncanny Annie

Game night takes a hellish turn in Into the Dark: Uncanny Annie, the next episode of Hulu’s Into the Dark horror anthology series that will air on the streaming service October 4. When a group of friends unboxes some fun on Halloween night, they realize they’ll have to play along and not break the rules to survive.

El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

Relive Jesse Pinkman’s most intense Breaking Bad moments in the music trailer for El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie. The new film, which will focus on Pinkman, hits Netflix on October 11.

Black Lightning

A country’s on the brink of war and a superpower family may be broken apart in Black Lightning Season 3, which is coming to The CW on October 7.

Little Monsters

Lupita Nyong’o plays a music teacher who gets caught in a zombie apocalypse in the Hulu movie Little Monsters. The cheeky film, which features Taylor Swift sing-alongs, furry koalas, and more swearing than you can imagine, will have a limited release in theaters on October 8 and be available to stream on Hulu on October 11.

Castle Rock

Castle Rock, a horror anthology series set in the Stephen King multiverse, is returning to Hulu on October 23. Lizzy Caplan stars as Annie Wilkes, a nurse by day and a serial killer by night, as she finds herself in working in Castle Rock, Maine.

Riverdale

Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead are officially seniors in Riverdale Season 4: The scandals, secrets, and shocking mysteries continue for the group, when the show returns to The CW on October 9.

More on Geek.com:

• ‘El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie’ Music Trailer Revisits Jesse Pinkman’s Journey
• ‘Riverdale’ Season 4 Trailer: Seniors, Secrets, and Jughead Goes Missing
• Lizzy Caplan Is Chilling Annie Wilkes in ‘Castle Rock’ Season 2 Trailer

Donald Trump has made a regular habit of making up facts to try to deter Americans from appreciating and investing in alternative energy sources. He’s repeatedly said that wind turbines cause cancer and that solar energy only works when the sun is out. But he also frequently centers these lies around himself–i.e. that you can’t watch a Trump rally on television when it’s cloudy or nighttime.

But his new lie about technology and how it affects our view of him is somehow even more incredible than any we’ve heard before. Trump often gets mocked for his obvious and shoddily done fake tanning. (Spray? Tanning bed? I don’t care; it’s just bad and probably unhealthy.) To say that his skin is orange is not even shaming (depending on how that sentiment is expressed), it’s just factual. But now Trump is admitting that his skin has an orange hue, while claiming it’s not a bad fake tan–it’s those darn energy-efficient lightbulbs!

“People said what is with the lightbulb? Here is a story. I looked at it. The bulb we are being forced to use, number one, to me, most importantly, the light’s no good I always look orange, and so do you. The light is the worst,” Trump said during a very weird speech in general that took place at the same time as the last Democratic debate.

First of all, obviously Trump would value his own vanity over environmental concerns.

Second, that’s not what’s happening! Trump is looking around saying, Hey, this is a weird problem we all experience, right??? And the answer is no, no we do not. But he kept going.

“Number two,” he said, “it is many times more expensive than that old incandescent bulb that worked very well, and very importantly, I don’t know if you know this, they have warnings. If it breaks, it is considered a hazardous waste—waste site. It has gases inside. Read what they say. If it breaks, bring it to your local whatever, have it wrapped—what are we doing?”

As Mediaite notes, “Trump appears to be referring to fluorescent light bulbs, which can be dangerous if broken because they contain mercury. The bulbs are currently being supplanted by even-more-efficient LED bulbs.” So Trump appears to be simultaneously ranting against traditional bulbs for being dangerous (valid) and LED bulbs for turning all of us orange (which they do not).

More stuff from today:

• Felicity Huffman has been sentenced to two weeks in prison for participating in the college admissions scandal. (via Pajiba)
• Our first look at the Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries movie! (via Twitter)
• Batwoman introduces us to Kate Kane’s girlfriend, Sophie. (via CBR)
• CAN NOT WAIT.
  

  OBSESSED with the title sequence for the new season of American Horror Story! Less than a week to go now! @AHSFX #1984 pic.twitter.com/Ec7AqeqmuS

  — Gus Kenworthy (@guskenworthy) September 12, 2019

• Michael Fassbender + Taika Waititi = GIMME. (via THR)
• Spoiler warnings for IT: Chapter 2, but Bill Hader has some incisive thoughts on his character’s sexuality. (via i09)
• If you’ve been seeing some controversy around Shaun King online but don’t really know what it’s about, here’s a good explainer. (via Medium)
• The city of Austin is not going to let the Trump administration’s Title X abuse make abortion inaccessible to its residents.
  

  We’re so excited to announce that the City of Austin just approved the new budget that includes $150K for practical support for abortion access! We did it, y’all! #AbortionAccessATX #ATXCouncil

  — Lilith Fund (@lilithfund) September 10, 2019

IT’S FRIDAY! What did you all see out there today?

(image: NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)
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