https://blackgirlnerds.com/actor-keke-palmer-and-baby-daddy-darius-jackson-spark-debates-on-successful-women-and-relationship-insecurities/

The entire internet was taken aback when Darius Jackson, actor Keke Palmer’s boyfriend and her child’s father, took to Twitter to publicly criticize her outfit choice at an Usher concert. We all saw the video: Keke smiling and enjoying herself, in a revealing Black outfit; Usher serenading Keke, as they slow danced to a hype crowd.

Jackson took to social media to express his disapproval by stating, “It’s the outfit tho.. you a mom.” Twitter wasn’t having it and dragged him to filth. You see, you can’t come for our girl and get away with it.

It’s worthy to mention, based on what we know, Palmer and Jackson are not married, even though he refers to her as his wife in his tweets. The irony of Jackson shaming Palmer for not conforming to traditional standards becomes hard to ignore when considering he had a child outside of wedlock with her and he is not the primary breadwinner. By Jackson’s own standards, being a stay-at-home unmarried father is not that traditional either.

The truth is, patriarchy is a pay-to-play game, and some Black men do not have the appropriate bandwidth to participate in the way they may want to or in the way wealthy and white men can. This stems from decades of oppression and enduring institutional barriers that affect Black men’s earning potential. Meanwhile, the emasculation some Black men feel because they are unable to provide might cause them to displace blame and direct that frustration onto their Black women. When Black men cannot execute masculinity the way men who have power and resources can, there is this loss of power and respect that shows up in their relationships.

We absolutely adore Keke Palmer. We’ve watched her grow up, since Akeelah and the Bee, which is why we protect her at all costs. After she announced her pregnancy on Saturday Night Live, the Internet began to question who she was pregnant by. Soon after, via social media, she introduced us to Jackson. She then had the baby and quickly lost the baby weight. Keke has always been cute, but the result of pregnancy on her body has her stacked to the gods. She looks amazing, and the best part is that she’s feeling it. You can look at a woman and tell when she feels good from the inside out. Keke is glowing and in her sexy phase.

We’ve seen her show up to events with Jackson and the baby. Yet, a girls’ weekend in Vegas seemed to change everything.  

Let’s be clear. Usher and Keke are both entertainers; two entertainers entertaining the audience. Celebrity to celebrity, they were having fun and wanted the people to buy what they were selling.

We know that there is a whole universe on the internet whose greatest pleasure is dragging Black women. We are too masculine; we desire to dress inappropriately; we want Black men to protect us but we don’t want to be led; we don’t deserve protection, if we choose to dress a certain way. The list goes on.

Yes, she is a mother. But a mother can’t wear a sexy dress? Jackson chose to publicly shame Keke about his issue with her dress instead of calling her privately. He invited the entire internet to criticize her then start commenting on their relationship. After people began dragging him, he doubled down attempting to justify that he’s only being the man of his family with morals and respect. He also said, “This is my family and my representation.”

Well, sir, at best we knew you as Keke Palmer’s baby daddy. We had no idea who you were until this instance. She has mentioned in interviews that she is a very private person, which is the truth because I don’t recall knowing anyone she’s dated. Keke has never even been involved with any controversy or mess. Sir, you had one job — not to embarrass her — and you failed.

Toni Morrison once described the function of racism: “The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being.”

The same can be said about the function of sexism and misogynoir. As Jackson continued to double-down and justify his stance, he merely proved that he has no stance at all. Married or not, Keke is a whole grown woman and can wear what she wants. I would counter his stance to say that Jackson may have had a different issue and didn’t want to publicly disclose what truly triggered him, which was probably the whole interaction with her and Usher; his arm around her, the serenade, or even the hug she gave him. Even if she had on sweat pants and a turtleneck, chances are he might have felt the same way.

I’m certain for many men, a successful and driven woman is attractive. But when the dust settles, are they really okay with not being the stereotypical bread winner? Do they feel threatened if their partner has the better paying job, or, in this case, is a successful celebrity?

I believe that every relationship has to operate in a way that’s best for them. When women are the breadwinners, however, some couples have a difficult time discussing any emotions that may rise, especially if they’ve been raised and conditioned to believe men should dutifully make more money. For some men, making more money means they have the control and power in the relationship. Jackson’s unsuccessful flex to shame Keke and police what she was wearing indicates that he desires more than being at home taking care of their child. His desire to be more and do better may have gotten the best of him, and seeing Keke comfortable in her Blackness with the Usher Raymond was his breaking point.

Once we have a better sense of where our insecurities come from and the influence it has on our relationships, we can begin to challenge it in healthy ways with our partner and avoid being dragged on Twitter.